Conflict handling exercises. Lesson with elements of the training “Conflict. Conflict resolution. Psychological training for teachers
Number of persons: 12.
Duration: 1 hour – 1 hour 30 minutes
Target:
1. Increase the motivation of teachers for conflict-free communication.
2. Search for new ways of behavior in contacts with colleagues.
3. Development of skills of perception and understanding of oneself and one's colleagues in the process of communication with them.
4. Development of verbal and non-verbal means communications.
In the training program:
1. Greeting.
2. Survey of well-being.
3. The psychological component of the conflict, techniques and methods of conflict prevention;
4. Exercise 1: Carousel.
5. Exercise 2: "Circle of our life."
6. Exercise 3: "Walk with a compass."
7. Exercise 4: "The sun and the cloud."
8. Methods of effective self-regulation;
9. Test "Are you a conflict personality";
10. Feedback;
11. Applause.
Equipment: sticky note paper, sheets of paper, felt-tip pens or pencils, multi-colored squares for dividing people into groups, a poster with a picture of a tree, a ball, blindfolds.
There are certain traditions in the training sessions that I want to tell you about: “here and now”, “sincerity and openness”, “confidentiality”, “I principle”, “activity”.
" Greeting" - passing the ball in a circle and naming the name and patronymic and hobby, how each of the group members feels; what to expect from the training (poster with an image of a tree).
This is not only out of a sense of politeness, but as the American psychologist D. Carnegie said: "The sound of one's own name for a person is the most pleasant melody."
And so, we begin!
We devote a significant part of our lives to professional activities, so the desire to feel comfortable and confident among colleagues is understandable. But, unfortunately, there are not very many people who go to work as if it were a holiday. Often the reason for this is our work environment. Like any human communities, labor collectives cannot exist without conflicts - this is how the world works. What is conflict? Psychologists consider conflict as a natural condition for the interaction of people, which is based on the confrontation between subjects, caused by intractable contradictions, accompanied by acute emotional experiences, lack of agreement, divergence of opinions, clash of opposing views and desires, positions, opinions, goals, etc. The subjects of the conflict are called opponents. The following components of the conflict can be distinguished: conflict situation, opponents, subject, object, incident.
Conflicts make a person unhappy, he does not work well, he does not feel well and can even get sick. Conflicts accompany us all our lives, but this does not mean that someone always has to win and someone has to lose. It is necessary to respect the feelings and desires of other people, to be attentive to them, and then you can find a way out of the conflict. Our excessive pride, the desire to take revenge, the pain caused to us, feelings of anger, resentment and the desire to always and in everything be right, jealous attitude, envy sometimes prevent us from understanding the actions and actions of other people.
How to bring the team together, create an atmosphere of trust and solidarity? How to combine different types of people within the same team, preventing serious disagreements from flaring up?
First, conflict can be avoided. To do this, try to avoid situations that provoke disputes and not discuss issues that give rise to disagreements.
Secondly, it is possible to smooth out problems. Here it is important to prevent the manifestation of aggression and bitterness, calling for professional solidarity. The motto of this method is: “We are all one team, so why rock our boat?”
Third, you can compromise. At the same time, an alien point of view is accepted only partially, to the extent that suspends the conflict. But all these methods do not solve the problems that provoke interpersonal clashes.
It is best to prevent the negative consequences of psychological incompatibility. The compatibility of employees (we are talking about a female team) consists of several factors that can become decisive at critical moments: temperament, performance, physical endurance and emotional stability. It is in women's groups that rivalry, intrigues, role conflicts with personal overtones most often arise.
An important factor in psychological compatibility is the age of people working together. Among employees, especially young ones, friendly relations, sympathy and mutual understanding are more likely to form. The key to conflict-free in the team is also the ability of the teacher to win people over.
When communicating, saying out loud the name or the name and patronymic of the person you are talking to, looking into the eyes to understand how the person relates to what we are saying.
Exercise 1: Carousel
Statistics show that more than 90% of people improve their performance if they receive compliments. The compliment mechanism is based on the effect of suggestion and, as a result, the need to look better. When expressing compliments, it is necessary to consider a number of rules:
A compliment should only reflect positive quality this person;
Double meaning must be avoided: listening to your conversations with people, I am surprised at the ability to subtly and witty avoid the answer;
Be free of hyperbole: The compliment should have a slight exaggeration. For example, exclude: “I am always amazed at your punctuality and accuracy” (and these qualities are not found in a person);
To the compliment, stinging additions are unacceptable: “Your hands are really golden. But language is your enemy. Stay away from the fly in the ointment.
Often we hear how important it is to be able to compliment people on time. This is correct, but it is often forgotten that the ability to accept compliments is equally important. In the "carousel" you can learn both.
Exercise: The group is divided into two teams. One team forms a small circle (back to back). The second team makes a large circle, with each of the participants in the large circle facing a member of the first team.
Everyone in the outer circle has to say something. good to that the person in front of him. Those in the inner circle, be able to thank your partner for the kind words. The inner circle stays where it is, while the members of the outer circle take a step to the side and come face to face with another member of the inner circle. And again - kind words from both sides. And so on until you go around the whole circle and find yourself opposite the one you started with.
And when the circle is completed, the participants in the outer and inner circles must switch places and start all over again. It would be nice to have an exchange of opinions at the end of the lesson: what turned out to be more difficult - to come up with compliments or to respond to them?
Exercise 2: "Circle of our life"
This game makes you think about your own and about the life of people next to us.
The facilitator draws a big circle and offers the following task: - this is a slice of your life, one typical day. First, we divide the circle into four conditional parts with dotted lines. Each quarter has six hours. Now let someone show how much time it takes him: for sleep, for friends, for work, for family, for loneliness, for housework, for everything else?
As you look at the circle of your life, ask yourself questions: Are you happy with the way your day is going? Let ideally, but what borders would you like to change in this circle? What is easy and what is difficult to change in your life? What was missing for a true reflection of your life (creativity, music, etc.)? why do we wait and strive for change?
Exercise 3: Compass Walk
Another trust game. The group is divided into pairs, where there is a follower (“tourist”) and a leader (“compass”). Each follower (he stands in front, and the leader behind, putting his hands on his partner's shoulders) is blindfolded.
Exercise: Pass the entire playing field back and forth. At the same time, the "tourist" cannot communicate with the "compass" at the verbal level. The leader (compass) with the movement of his hands helps the follower to keep the direction, avoiding obstacles - other tourists with compasses.
Information for discussion: describe the feeling of a blindfolded person who is forced to rely on his partner. What contributed to or hindered feelings of trust? How did the leaders help their followers?
Exercise 4: "The sun and the cloud"
On the left we draw the sun with rays, and on the right - clouds. Along the rays of the sun, write all the good things that you think about yourself, anna cloud - those negative character traits that you have and that you need to work on.
In conclusion, I want to repeat once again that the main goal of such trainings is to prevent conflicts in the teaching staff, as one of the cohesive factors, that you will take as much experience and knowledge as you want here. For some, all the information obtained here will be useful, but for others, only part of the information will be needed. In any case, take as much as you want.
Let us initially have a forced smile, a clumsy compliment, an increased interest in personal affairs - over time, this will be polished and will look natural.
Know how to manage your emotions and feelings. Indeed, in a fit of anger, a person can say a lot of bad things.
To extinguish this negative feeling psychologists suggest doing the following:
1. Breathe evenly. When you realize that you have lost control over yourself, your pulse quickens, you begin to breathe quickly, blood circulation speeds up. Even breathing can bring you back to normal.
2. Try telling yourself, “I can get over my anger. In anger, people don't say what they think."
3. Call a friend and tell her what annoys you. If someone listens to you and tries to understand, then you will feel much better.
4. Build a plan in your head for your next actions and statements. When a person is angry, his actions and deeds are spontaneous. By making a plan, you can take control of your anger.
At the end of the work, feedback is given throughout the lesson:
- How do you feel?
- Has the feeling changed compared to the state at the beginning of the work?
- How comfortable was it to work with others?
- Did you experience any discomfort or anxiety during the training?
- What did you get during the work of the training group?
- What topics would be interesting to consider?
- Did the training live up to your expectations? (A poster depicting a tree.)
He who knows humanity is not deprived of the mind;
The one who knows himself is doubly smarter.
Who defeated another is strong
Who defeated himself is a hundred times stronger.
To live long - live in harmony with yourself,
To live forever - enter the hearts of people.
Chinese philosopher Loo Iza.
Test "Are you a conflict personality?"
To find out, take the quiz by choosing one answer for each question.
1. In public transport, a dispute began in raised tones. What is your reaction?
a) do not participate;
b) I speak briefly in defense of the side that I consider right;
c) I actively intervene, than "causing fire on myself."
2. Do you speak at meetings to criticize management?
b) only if I have any reason for this;
c) I criticize on any occasion not only the authorities, but also those who defend them.
3. Do you often argue with your friends?
a) only if people are not touchy;
b) only on matters of principle;
c) disputes are my element.
4. How do you react if someone gets in bypassing the line?
a) I am indignant in my soul, but I am silent: it is dearer to me;
b) I make a remark;
c) I go forward and begin to observe the order.
5. At home, an unsalted dish was served for dinner. What is your reaction?
a) I will not raise a fuss over trifles;
b) silently take the salt shaker;
c) I will not refrain from caustic remarks and, perhaps, defiantly refuse food.
6. If on the street, in transport, you stepped on your foot ...
a) look at the offender with indignation;
b) I will dryly make a remark;
c) I will express myself without embarrassment in expressions.
7. If someone close to you bought a thing that you did not like ...
a) keep silent
b) I will limit myself to a short tactful commentary;
c) make a scandal.
8. Bad luck in the lottery. How will you react to this?
a) I will try to appear indifferent, but in my heart I will promise myself never to participate in it again;
b) I will not hide my annoyance, but I will treat what happened with humor, promising to take revenge;
c) losing will spoil the mood for a long time.
Now calculate the points scored, based on the fact that each
a) 4 points; b) 2, c) 0 points.
22 - 32 points- you are tactful and peaceful, deftly avoid disputes and conflicts, avoid critical situations at work and at home. The saying "Plato is my friend, but the truth is dearer!" was never your motto. Maybe that's why you are sometimes called an opportunist. Take courage if circumstances require you to speak out in principle, regardless of faces.
12 - 20 points- you seem to be a conflicted person. But in fact, you only conflict if there is no other way out and other means have been exhausted. You firmly defend your opinion, not thinking about how this will affect your official position and friendly relations. At the same time, do not go beyond the scope of correctness, do not stoop to insults. All this earns you respect.
Up to 10 points– disputes and conflicts are the air without which you cannot live. Love to criticize others, but if you hear comments addressed to you, you can "eat alive." Your criticism is for the sake of criticism, and not for the good of the cause. It is very difficult for those who are close to you - at work and at home. Your intemperance and rudeness repel people. Is that why you don't have real friends? In a word, try to overcome your absurd character!
The conflict in the social environment as a dispute between the parties, as a contradiction in their interests and goals, is natural and therefore inevitable.
The question is how to resolve conflicts. There are three types of attitudes or approaches to conflict resolution:
- - one of the parties (or all parties) seeks to win (unilateral action);
- - the participant (participants) of the conflict ignores its existence and is inactive (unilateral actions);
- - with or without the help of a third party, the participants discuss the problem that caused the conflict in order to find a mutually acceptable solution (joint action).
In the course of conflict resolution, the participants will have to go through a series of phases from violent actions to resolving contradictions through discussions.
These phases are:
- - cessation of violent actions;
- - establishing a dialogue;
- - Finding solutions to problems through negotiations.
As adequate methods of prevention and resolution of conflicts, the following are most often mentioned by various authors:
- - early diagnosis of the conflict and identification of its causes in order to prevent its further growth;
- - "splashing", "discharge" of negative emotions through activities that do not cause significant harm to the opponent;
- - change in the nature of the perception of the participants in the conflict;
- - the method of successive mutual concessions;
- - negotiations of the parties to the conflict;
- - Appeal to the arbitrator;
- - Appeal to an intermediary.
One of the common forms of conflict prevention and resolution is the form of training. The initiator of this approach should be considered J. Burton, according to which the resolution of the conflict should be based on a change deep structures. Properly organized communication between social groups in conflict is one of the central methods in this approach. It aims to change the nature of perception, as mentioned above, and, through this, to change the relationship of the parties to each other.
The purpose of the training sessions is to provide an opportunity for the participants of the training to gain experience in constructive resolution of conflict situations.
Objectives of the training sessions:
- - training in methods of finding solutions in conflict situations;
- - to help participants learn to assess the conflict situation without prejudice;
- - help participants adjust their behavior in the direction of reducing its conflict potential (remove conflict in the personal-emotional sphere);
- -development of such personality traits as sociability, empathy, stress resistance, reflection;
- - team building, development of skills and abilities of team interaction.
Lesson 1
Exercise "Interview"
The goal is to develop the ability to listen to a partner and improve communication skills, reducing the communication distance between the training participants.
Participants break into pairs and talk with their partner for 10 minutes, trying to find out as much as possible about him. Then each says a brief introduction of his interlocutor. the main task- emphasize his individuality, dissimilarity to others. The participants then take turns introducing each other.
Exercise "Space speed"
The purpose of the exercise: to develop the skill of making a group decision about the strategy and tactics of completing the task. Contribute to group cohesion and deepen the processes of self-disclosure.
Instruction: "Pass in a circle, in any order, except for the neighbor on the right and the neighbor on the left, the ball, but so that the ball visits each member of the team 1 time."
Complication:
- - do the same, but for a while
- - "Can you go faster?"
- - perform in any other way for a while.
The facilitator invites all team members to sit in a circle after completing the exercise and express their state at the time the work began and ended.
What you should pay attention to:
- - team strategy development
- - understanding the idea of the exercise
- - understanding other participants
- - making decisions
- - changes in behavior
- - change on an emotional level and in the degree of participation of each.
The facilitator's questions should be neutral and leave freedom of choice, analysis and fantasy: - What did you feel?
- - What has changed in the moment?
- - Why did you choose this solution?
Exercise "I say what I see"
The purpose of the exercise: playing the situation of non-judgmental statements.
The description of behavior means reporting the observed specific actions of other people without evaluation, that is, without attributing to them motives for actions, assessing attitudes, personality traits. The first step in developing descriptive rather than judgmental language is improving the ability to observe and report one's observations without judgment.
Sitting in a circle, you now observe the behavior of others and, in turn, say what you see about any of the participants. For example: “Kolya sits with his legs crossed”, “Katya smiles”.
The facilitator ensures that value judgments and inferences are not used. After completing the exercise, it is discussed whether there was a frequent tendency to use marks, whether the exercise was difficult, what the participant felt.
The facilitator draws attention to the fact that one of the objectives of the lesson is to study the possibilities of an appropriate choice of behavior strategies in a conflict based on probabilistic forecasting.
There are at least three methods for resolving any meaningful conflict.
- 1. Forceful decision. The subject of the conflict is appropriated through forceful actions, a strong-willed decision, the use of power.
- 2. Physical separation of the parties. The parties are withdrawn from the conflict field, the collision does not occur due to physical impossibility. In some cases, an arbitrary exit from the conflict field by one of the parties leads to the impossibility of achieving the goal by the other side. In this case, there is only one outcome - no one wins.
- 3. Search for a solution that suits opponents. There are also two possible outcomes here. Compromise - all participants get access to the subject of the conflict, but not in full: you have to share. A constructive solution is a solution that will ensure the maximum realization of the interests of both parties.
Thus, three ways of behaving in a conflict can lead to five different outcomes: victory, defeat, withdrawal, compromise, and solution. The consistent implementation of strategies aimed at achieving a predetermined outcome is called conflict resolution style.
Lesson 2
Role-playing game "Smoothing conflicts"
The goal is the processing of skills and abilities to smooth out conflicts. The facilitator talks about the importance of such skills as the ability to quickly and effectively smooth out conflicts; announces that now it is worth trying to find out the main methods of conflict resolution empirically.
Participants are divided into threes. For 5 minutes, each trio comes up with a scenario in which two participants represent the conflicting parties (for example, quarreling spouses), and the third plays a peacemaker, an arbiter.
The facilitator raises the following questions for discussion:
- - What methods of smoothing conflicts have been demonstrated?
- - What, in your opinion, interesting finds did the participants use during the game?
- - How should those participants behave who failed to smooth out the conflict?
Exercise "Infernal Towers"
The Goal is a team building exercise that attempts to show conflict resulting from communication barriers between participants. Such barriers arise due to the fact that people, regarding their perception of the world as the only true one, often refuse to accept other points of view. In Towers of Hell, this concept is taken on board and used to encourage players to think about the factors that both help and hinder team building.
The instructions below are for a group of at least 12 people (i.e. two teams of 6 people each). If for some reason you want to have larger or smaller teams, you can change the number of instruction cards. If there is enough space, any number of people can play.
Conditions: seminar room or conference room - with a minimum amount of furniture. Players should be able to form teams and build their own "buildings".
Description of the exercise.
- 1. Divide the group into teams of 6 people.
- 2. Give each team lots of Lego or similar building blocks. Explain that they will need to build a tower.
- 3. Give all participants of each team a card on which the data relating to one part of the task will be recorded. Emphasize that this information should not be shared with anyone.
- 4. Announce that the game will be played in complete silence and allow the players to get down to business.
Card Instructions:
- - The tower should consist of 20 blocks.
- - The tower must be 10 levels high.
- - The tower must be built only from white, red and yellow "bricks".
- - The tower must be built only from blue and yellow "bricks".
The sixth level of the tower should be different in color from the rest.
The tower must be built by you. If other members of your team take up the "bricks", stop them and insist that you build the tower yourself.
Discussion of the results of the game:
The game of Towers of Hell is interesting to watch from the outside (if you can, record it on video), as individual players will inevitably come to confusion, confusion and frustration, as soon as they realize that all their attempts to follow the instructions lead only to opposition from the outside. members of their teams. They will be disappointed once they realize that all working together on a common task comes down to revealing the fact that nothing of the sort is actually happening. For example, a player tries to place a blue "brick" only to have another player remove it with obvious indignation. The third will try to keep others from doing anything at all, and so on.
At the end of the action, it is useful to discuss the situations - they are repeated whenever this game is used.
1. The player assigned to be the only builder wins. This happens if this role is assigned to a strong-willed person who is good at non-verbal communication methods and makes it clear that he will not tolerate any opposition. Under these conditions, other members of the team more or less patiently - depending on their temperament - sit on the sidelines and watch the "imposter". Everything goes smoothly until this person does something that is contrary to the instructions of the other player: the latter makes a silent protest, which the builder usually listens to and changes the structure accordingly. When two protesters come into conflict with each other (perhaps due to the fact that one of them does not like the color of the "bricks"), the builder often begins to experiment, changing one "brick" for another until both arguers are satisfied - that for example, that only yellow bricks are used.
This team behavior is most often effective, whereby a group like the one described above can build the tower first and be very pleased with their performance, product (tower), and each other. This is probably due to the fact that none of them "lost face." The initial humiliation experienced by the team members who were suspended from work is compensated by their subsequent instructions to the "builder" how and what to build. This is another aspect of leadership as a compromise between leader and subordinates.
- 2. The self-proclaimed builder is defeated by a powerful opposition in the face of other players who insist that they be allowed to "bricks". This behavior usually leads to serious conflicts. We have seen people pulling “bricks from each other or taking them out of the structure. If events take this turn, the tower is unlikely to be built.
- 3. There is a combination of the described strategies. There are continuous negotiations between potential builders, which take a lot of time. Each "brick" becomes the subject of non-verbal, sometimes heated, discussion. Given enough time, the tower will eventually grow, but a team that behaves this way usually loses to opponents that choose strategy 1.
Exercise "Exaggeration or complete change of behavior"
The goal is the formation of skills for modifying and correcting behavior based on the analysis of the roles played and the group analysis of behavior.
This role-playing game in which members of the group are given the opportunity to play out their intrapersonal conflicts. Role-playing is used to increase awareness of behavior and the possibility of changing it. The participant himself chooses unwanted personal behavior, or the group helps him choose behavior that he is not aware of. If a group member is not aware of the type of behavior chosen for him by the group, he must exaggerate his expression. For example, a timid group member should speak in a loud, authoritarian tone, constantly boasting about their accomplishments. If the participant is aware of the behavior and considers it undesirable, he must, when playing the role, completely change it to the opposite. Everyone is given 5-7 minutes to act out the roles. Then all participants share their observations and feelings.
Lesson 3
Exercise "Greeting"
The goal is to form a trusting style of communication in the process of establishing contacts, creating positive emotional attitudes towards trusting communication.
The participants sit in a circle and take turns greeting each other, always emphasizing the individuality of the partner, for example: "I'm glad to see you, and I want to say that you look great" or "Hi, you are as energetic and cheerful as always." You can recall that individual trait that the person himself singled out at the first meeting. The participant can refer to everyone at once or to a specific person. During this psychological warm-up, the group should tune in to a trusting style of communication, demonstrate their good attitude towards each other.
The facilitator should pay attention to the manner of establishing contacts.
At the end of the meeting, the presenter analyzes typical mistakes allowed by the participants and demonstrates the most productive ways of greeting.
Exercise "Signal"
The goal is to warm up, improve the atmosphere in the group.
Participants stand close enough in a circle and hold hands behind. Someone lightly squeezing their hand sends out a signal in the form of a sequence of quick or longer squeezes. The signal is transmitted in a circle until it returns to the author.
Exercise "Typewriter"
The goal is a warm-up, the development of cohesive actions. Participants are given a word or phrase. The letters that make up the text are distributed among the members of the group. Then the phrase should be said as quickly as possible, with everyone calling their letter, and in the intervals between words, everyone clap their hands.
Lesson 4
Exercise "Justice"
Purpose - the exercise is aimed at removing stereotypes of perception and actions, developing an understanding of the partner.
Participants justify their strange postures. and actions. They are presented in turn and justified in turn.
The facilitator addresses the participants: “Justify screaming, jumping on one leg, scratching behind the ear, crooked face, sticking out tongue, crooked posture, strange questions and answers.” The justification must be "the pure truth."
At the end, everyone justifies their participation in the group together.
Exercise "If ... I would become ..."
The goal is to develop skills for quick response to a conflict situation.
The exercise takes place in a circle: one participant sets a condition in which some conflict situation is stipulated. For example: "If I was cheated in the store ...". The next one sitting next to him continues (ends) the sentence. For example: "... I would demand a complaint book."
It is advisable to conduct this exercise in several stages, in each of which everyone present participates, after which a discussion follows.
The facilitator notes that both conflict situations and ways out of them can be repeated.
Exercise "Counterarguments"
The goal is to create conditions for self-disclosure, the ability to conduct polemics and counterarguments.
Each member of the group must tell the rest of the participants about his weaknesses - about what he does not accept in himself. These can be character traits, habits that interfere in life that I would like to change.
The rest of the participants listen carefully and, at the end of the speech, discuss what has been said, trying to give counterarguments, that is, what can be opposed to the noted shortcomings or even showing that our weaknesses in some cases become our strengths in others.
Lesson 5
Exercise "Fairy Tale"
Purpose - group members learn to interact with each other and are attentive to the words of their communication partners, develop imagination; stress relief.
The group sits in a circle and the leader begins to tell the story, for example:
- - Once upon a time there was a king who had a bride, and he loved her more than anyone in the world ...
- - Once upon a time there was a wonderful musician who once walked through the forest and thought about different things.
When there was nothing else left to think of, he said to himself, “Time passes for a very long time in this vast forest; I would like to find myself a good travel companion.
- - Once upon a time there was an old queen who was very sick and thought to herself: "I will probably die soon ...".
- - Once upon a time there was a girl who spent the whole day doing nothing else but spinning and weaving ...
- -There was a mighty king who had three sons, and he loved them more than life itself. He thought: "It would be nice if my sons went to see the world..."
The leader holds a small ball in his hands, after the beginning of the story he throws the ball to someone from the group. This person will have to continue the story - you can say a word, or you can say a few sentences. After that, he throws the ball to another participant. None of the players knows when their turn will come, and therefore is forced to listen very carefully to what others have to say. Gradually, new heroes and new characters are introduced into the story. storylines, but the participants should be warned that the fairy tale they invented must have a happy ending.
Participants are also warned that each story should consist of no more than 3-4 sentences.
The discussion draws attention to the differences in views and opinions (manifested in the presentation of the plot), the ability of participants to accept someone else's point of view, to find a constructive solution. These skills are essential for effective conflict resolution.
Exercise "Position"
The goal is to reflect the mutual assessment positions of the participants in the training sessions.
Participants form 2 circles: inner and outer. The outer circle moves, the inner one stays in place. Those in the outer circle express their impression of the partner in the inner circle, starting with the phrase "I see you", "I want to tell you", I like you. "After 2 minutes, the outer circle shifts to one person, etc.
Exercise "Last meeting"
The goal is to improve the communicative culture, stimulate the activity of participants.
Lesson 6
Exercise "Understand me"
The purpose of the exercise: the development of communicative skills of participants, the development of conflict-free communication skills.
The progress of the exercise. To participate in the exercise, the group is divided into pairs. One of the participants in the pair plays the role of the head of the organization, the second - the role of a subordinate. Each partner is offered a description of the situation.
After getting acquainted with the situation, the participants are invited to enter into a dialogue, as a result of which they try to come to a compromise, a unified solution to the situation. The dialogue time is limited to the leader - 10 minutes.
As a result of the work, the participants analyze the following points:
- 1. What solution did the leader and the subordinate come to?
- 2. Is the final solution a compromise for both parties?
- 3. Did they feel each other's mood during the conversation?
- 4. Determine which behavioral strategy each of the partners chose during the conversation: cooperation, compromise, rivalry, avoidance, adaptation.
- 5. What difficulties did participants experience in finding a common solution to the problem? Were they able to be resolved?
- 6. What methods of conflict resolution were used in this situation?
Exercise "Conflict situations"
The purpose of the exercise is to develop effective behavior in conflict situations. Example situations topics:
The progress of the exercise. Participants of the training are divided into pairs or trios, choose a conflict situation and play it by roles. Preparation time - 5-10 minutes. Then everyone returns to the circle and takes turns playing their situations in front of everyone.
Teacher reactions can be classified as:
- -by type of behavior in conflicts: (adaptation, avoidance, rivalry, cooperation),
- - the style of pedagogical communication (authoritarian, liberal, democratic),
- - role position (adult, child, parent).
Constructive behavior is considered to be cooperation-oriented, manifested in the democratic style of behavior and the position of an adult.
Exercise "Support"
Purpose - the exercise promotes group cohesion.
Groups in the general composition, holding each other's shoulders, fall to the floor. The starting position changes with the face or back to the center.
The facilitator addresses the group: "Stand in a circle with your back to the center, put your hands on the shoulders of those standing next to you. Sit down at the same time. Leaning on the floor and on your partners, stand up at the same time without breaking the circle. Do the same with your face in a circle."
General discussion. How did you feel? What did you like? What angered you? What questions do you have?
Target: promotion of participants' awareness of their behavior, the formation of the ability to positively resolve conflicts.
Task:
Refresh students' knowledge about conflict;
Familiarize participants with strategies for overcoming a conflict situation;
To form the ability to find mutual understanding with people;
Promote mutual understanding in the classroom;
Teach children how to value themselves.
Leading. The famous French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery called human communication the greatest luxury in the world. Communication between people is a delicate and complex process. Each of us learns this all his life, gaining experience often through mistakes and disappointments. Unfortunately, we often find ourselves in situations that are defined as conflict. They bring tension to relationships, deprive of peace and joy, do not give the opportunity to fully work. The less conflicts arise, the better people can find, then their warm and trusting relationships.
Exercise "I don't want to brag, but I..."
Purpose: development in adolescents of the ability to self-presentation.
All participants sit in a circle, each in turn says his name and continues the phrase starting with the words: “I don’t want to brag, but I am ... a wonderful friend».
All participants have their say.
Exercise "Repetition of the rules"
Purpose: to reinforce the rules and develop a sense of responsibility.
Each participant in turn names one rule and explains its meaning.
Exercise "My idea of conflict"
Purpose: actualization of participants regarding the concept of conflict. The psychologist offers to draw a picture on the A4 sheet on the topic “My idea of the conflict”. After completing the work, the psychologist offers to tell in turn what he has drawn.
Discussion:
What feelings did you have while drawing?
Did you like the drawing?
Exercise "Conflict is..."
Purpose: to clarify the essence of the concept of "conflict".
The psychologist addresses the group members with the question “What is conflict?”. All answers are written on paper. After that, everyone together find out the positive (+) and negative (-) sides of the conflict.
Summarizing.
Information message "Conflict"
The word "conflict" of Latin origin, in translation means a collision. This refers to the clash of opposing goals, interests, positions. Conflict is at the core of conflict. In order for the conflict to develop, an incident is needed, i.e. for one of the parties to act. The causes of conflicts are very diverse: inability to understand another person, intolerance for the opinions of others, selfishness, a tendency to gossip, a divergence of opinions and desires.
Exercise "Box of misunderstandings"
Purpose: formation of skills for successful conflict resolution.
Small groups are formed (associations of choice various kinds candy). One participant from each team extracts a description of a certain situation from the "box of misunderstandings". Each situation is a situation of the origin of a kind of conflict. Find the right way out of the situation without provoking conflict.
1st situation. One student says to another: “I will never sit at the same desk with you: you will relax like an elephant, but it’s inconvenient for me to write! ". The other answers ... (add). Comment on the situation.
2nd situation. There is a lesson, students do their homework. Suddenly one student starts banging his pen on the desk. The teacher makes a remark: “Sergey, please don’t knock on the desk, do the assignments.” Sergei replies: “Why me again? Extreme again! What did you see? ".
What is the teacher's reaction to Sergei's words?
How would you do in this situation?
3rd situation. Mom came home from work and said to her daughter: “How long can you talk? Clean up after yourself, scattered everything, as if a tornado swept through the apartment! Not a girl, but some kind of misfortune! You talk, and she, like peas against a wall!
What is the girl's reaction?
What would you do if you were your mother?
4th situation. The teacher checks homework. The turn came to Oleg. Andrei Ivanovich, checking the student's work, said: “But what is this? This mediocrity again did not do as it should, he wrote in a notebook so that you couldn’t make out anything! ".
What is the student's reaction?
What would you do if you were a teacher?
Conclusion leading among the habits that give rise to conflicts between people, especially common are excessive emotionality, aggressiveness, exactingness, inattention to the needs and interests of others, inability to listen to others.
A destructive way is to solve your problems and conflicts through violence and aggression. To think destructively means to work towards self-destruction, not self-improvement. If you want peace and love for yourself, then your path is the conscious control of negative thoughts and actions.
Australian rain exercise
Purpose: to reduce the psychological burden of participants.
The psychologist suggests that all participants stand up and repeat the movements:
The wind has risen in Australia (the presenter rubs his palms);
It starts to rain (clapping the palms on the chest);
A real downpour begins (clapping on the hips)
And here is the hail, a real storm (stomping feet);
Drops fall to the ground (snap of fingers);
Quiet rustling of the wind (rubbing of the palms);
Sun (hands up).
Exercise "Your mood and wishes"
Purpose: to create a positive mood. All participants join hands and in a circle talk about their positive emotions and express their wishes to others.
Goals:
- formation of ideas about the nature of the conflict;
- development of the ability to adequately respond to various conflict situations.
Tasks:
- analyze the conflict in terms of positive and negative impact on interpersonal relationships and on the attitude towards oneself;
- show the main factors that determine behavior in conflict;
- to show the importance of the emotional sphere of a person and its influence on communication during the conflict.
PROGRESS OF THE SEMINAR
1. Post topic"Conflictology" ( Presentation )
2. Exercise "Tram"
Everyone is sitting in a circle. One chair is free. The one with the empty chair on the right starts. He should move to an empty chair and say: "And I'm going." The next participant, who has an empty chair on the right, moves and says: “Me too.” The third participant says: “And I am a hare”, And the fourth one says: “And I am with ... (calls the name of any participant)”. The one whose name was called hurries to sit on an empty chair, and by analogy everything is repeated from the beginning.
3. Exercise "We write syncwines" (Annex 1 )
4. The concept of conflict
Word "conflict" in Latin means "collision". The English dictionary of synonyms gives such concepts for the term "conflict": struggle, clash, disagreement, hostility, opposition, etc.
Based on the analysis of a large number of domestic and foreign works, N.V. Grishina proposes to define a socio-psychological conflict as a collision that arises and proceeds in the field of communication, caused by conflicting goals, ways of behavior, attitudes of people, in the conditions of their desire to achieve any goals. The determining factor in the origin of conflicts is the appropriate combination of objective and subjective factors.
Conflict- this is the opposition of subjects about the contradiction that has arisen, real or imagined. The cause of the conflict can be a difference in goals, lack of awareness of the parties about the event, incompetence of one of the parties, low culture of behavior, etc.
Unfortunately, there is no generally accepted theory of conflicts that would unambiguously explain the nature of their occurrence and their influence on the development of society, as well as there is no single classification, however, most authors (Grishina G.V. 2002; Pochebut L.G., Chiker VA and a number of foreign authors) distinguish the following types of conflicts: personal, interpersonal, intergroup, intragroup conflicts.
An unknown author identifies the following main types of conflicts that disrupt the successful implementation of the corresponding connection:
1) conflicts, which are a reaction to obstacles to achieving the main goals of labor activity (for example, difficulties in completing a given business assignment, an incorrect solution to any production problem, etc.);
2) conflicts that arise as a reaction to obstacles to the achievement of personal goals of employees as part of their joint work activity (for example, conflict over the distribution of business tasks that are considered "profitable" or "unprofitable", dissatisfaction with the proposed vacation schedule, etc.);
3) conflicts arising from the perception of the behavior of team members as inconsistent with accepted social norms of joint labor activity (for example, a conflict due to violation of labor discipline by one of the members of the advanced team with an overall high level of attitude to work);
4) purely personal conflicts between employees, due to the incompatibility of individual psychological characteristics - sharp differences in needs, interests, value orientations, and the level of culture in general.
5. Exercise "Alphabet of emotions"
The task is to remember and write down the emotions that arise in a conflict situation in a few minutes - one emotion for each letter of the alphabet. In a common circle, a single data bank is created (orally or on a board / flipchart).
6. Exercise "Pros and Cons of Conflict"
You can look at the conflict, as probably, and at any phenomenon of reality from different points of view and find your pluses and minuses.
The participants are divided into two groups. The first team will need to write down as many positive consequences of conflict situations as possible in the brainstorming mode, the second team, respectively, will need to describe the negative consequences of conflicts. The groups are given 10 minutes to work.
N.V. Klyueva offers a description of the conflict:
Constructive sides of the conflict:
- The conflict reveals the “weak link” in the organization, in relationships (the diagnostic function of the conflict).
- Conflict provides an opportunity to see hidden relationships.
- The conflict makes it possible to throw out negative emotions, relieve tension.
- Conflict is an impetus to reconsider, to develop one's views on the familiar.
- The need to resolve the conflict determines the development of the organization.
- The conflict contributes to the rallying of the team in the confrontation with an external enemy.
Destructive sides of the conflict:
- Negative emotional experiences that can lead to various diseases.
- Violation of business and personal relationships between people, reduced discipline. In general, the socio-psychological climate is deteriorating.
- Deterioration in the quality of work. Difficult recovery of business relations.
- The idea of the winners or the vanquished as enemies.
- temporary loss. For one minute of conflict, there are 12 minutes of post-conflict experiences.
7. Conflict resolution technology (Appendix 4 )
6 rules for formulating a conflict situation
In many conflicts, you can find more than one conflict situation or find several options for its formulation.
A key role in conflict resolution is played by the correct formulation of the conflict situation.
Here are the rules that make this procedure the most effective for conflict resolution.
Rule 1 Remember that a conflict situation is something that needs to be eliminated.
Therefore, formulations like: "the conflict situation is in this person", "in the socio-economic situation", "in the lack of buses on the line", etc., are not suitable, because we have no right to eliminate the person in general, the socio-economic None of us will change the situation on our own and will not increase the number of buses on the line.
Rule 2 A conflict situation always arises before a conflict.
The conflict arises simultaneously with the incident. Thus, the conflict situation precedes both the conflict and the incident.
It is no coincidence that in the first formula of the conflict, the first place is occupied by the CS, then I, and only then K.
Rule 3 The wording should tell you what to do.
For example, in the latter case, conflict situations have shown that it is necessary to continue to behave more well-mannered (not to spit, in particular); not allow the fall of their image, authority.
Rule 4 Ask yourself questions "why?" until you get to the bottom of the root cause from which others flow.
If we recall the analogy with the weed, then this means: do not pull out only part of the root, the remaining part will still reproduce the weed.
Rule 5 Formulate the conflict situation in your own words, if possible without repeating the words from the description of the conflict.
The bottom line is that when considering a conflict, a lot is usually said about its visible sides, that is, about the conflict itself and about the incident. We come to an understanding of the conflict situation after some conclusions and generalization (unification) of heterogeneous components. This is how words appear in her wording that were not in the original description.
Rule 6 Keep the wording to a minimum.
When there are too many words, the thought is not concrete, side nuances appear, etc. This is how the aphorism “brevity is the sister of talent” is appropriate anywhere.
A conflict situation is a diagnosis of a disease called "conflict". Only the correct diagnosis gives hope for healing.
8. How to avoid conflictogens (Annex 5 )
Rules for non-conflict communication ( Appendix 6 )
9. Exercise "I'm in conflict"
- express your vision of yourself in a difficult situation
- allow you to let go of the accumulated emotions.
Participants are given sheets of paper, all the materials necessary for drawing, and they take any secluded place. Within 10 minutes they will need to draw a picture, the main idea of which is expressed in its title - "I am in conflict." It can be a self-portrait or an abstract work. The main thing is that the work conveys the emotions that the author most often experiences in conflict situations, speaks of his ways of responding to conflicts and the ability to behave in them. In the process of drawing, it is important not to evaluate yourself from the outside, but to convey the real state of things. When all the drawings are ready, the presenter collects them and mixes them so that it is impossible to guess where whose drawing is. Participants sit in a circle, and then they should discuss who is the creator of this or that work. The drawings are shown to the presenters in turn. Naturally, the author tries not to give himself away in any way. He, and with him other participants, since authorship is often incorrectly established, have the opportunity to receive feedback on what the group thinks about their behavior and experiences in conflicts, as they see them in overcoming a difficult situation.
When all the authors are identified, the participants share their impressions both from the drawing process itself and from the subsequent discussion of the drawings in the group.
11. K. Thomas identifies five ways to get out of a conflict situation.
Competition(competition) involves focusing only on one's own interests, completely ignoring the interests of a partner.
Avoidance(avoidance) is characterized by a lack of attention to both one's own interests and the interests of a partner.
Compromise represents the achievement of "half" benefits by each party.
fixture involves increased attention to the interests of another person, while their own interests recede into the background.
Cooperation is a strategy that takes into account the interests of both parties.
- “sharks” use competition more often”;
- "turtles" - evasion;
- "Cubs" - adaptation;
- "foxes" - compromise";
- "owls" - cooperation.
In pedagogical practice, there is an opinion that the most effective ways out of the conflict are cooperation and compromise. However, any of the strategies presented by Thomas can be effective in different situations, since it has both positive and negative sides.
No matter how much we would like it, it is hardly possible to imagine and even more so to implement a completely conflict-free interaction between people. Sometimes it is even more important not to avoid conflict, but to correctly choose a strategy of behavior in a conflict situation and bring the parties to a constructive agreement.
Ways to resolve conflicts ( Appendix 8 )
12. Exercise "Worthy answer" (Appendix 9 )
13. Typology of conflict personalities (Annex 10 )
Dermanova I.B., Sidorenko E.V. offer techniques that reduce and increase stress.
14. Techniques that reduce stress:
- Giving your partner a chance to speak.
- Verbalization of the emotional state:
- His;
- Partner.
- Emphasizing commonality with a partner (similarity of interests, opinions, unity of purpose, etc.)
- Showing interest in your partner's problems.
- Emphasizing the importance of a partner, his opinion in your eyes.
- If you are wrong, admit it immediately.
- Proposal of a specific way out of the current situation.
- Appeal to facts.
- Calm, steady pace of speech.
- Maintain optimal distance, angle of rotation and eye contact.
Techniques that increase voltage:
- Interrupting a partner.
- Ignoring the emotional state:
- His;
- Partner.
- Emphasizing the differences between oneself and the partner, downplaying the partner's contribution to the common cause and exaggerating one's own.
- Demonstration of disinterest in the partner's problem.
- Belittling a partner, negative assessment of the partner's personality.
- Delaying the moment of admitting one's wrong or denying it.
- Finding the guilty and blaming the partner.
- Transition to "personality".
- A sharp increase in the rate of speech.
- Avoidance of spatial proximity and tilt of the body.
15. Exercise "Swift deer and ringing string" (Annex 11 )
16. Exercise "Four squares" (Appendix 12 )
17. Exercise "We are united with you" (Appendix 13 )
Used Books:
- G.B. Monina, E.K. Lutova-Roberts"Communicative training", S-P "Speech" 2007.
- I. Avidon, O. Goncharova"Training of interaction in conflict", S-P "Rech" 2008.
- I.A. Ageeva"Successful teacher: training and correctional programs", S-P "Rech" 2007.
- V. Sheinov"Conflicts in our lives, the emergence, development and resolution of conflicts", online article.
The lesson is about ways effective communication. Many children are simply not taught how to resolve conflicts peacefully. The causes of conflicts between adolescents are their nervousness, inability to withstand stress for a long time, and the habit of aggression.
Clarification of the concept of "conflict", "conflict situation", understanding the causes of conflicts, mastering the skills of constructive conflict resolution - this is the content of the lesson.
Purpose: to study conflicts, their causes and ways to resolve them.
Tasks:
- to acquaint students with the concept of "conflict", its components;
- familiarization of students with different styles of response in conflict situations;
- application of constructive conflict resolution skills;
- develop students' ability to develop their own ways of effective communication.
Participants: students in grades 8-11.
Number of participants: groups of 10-15 people.
Terms and conditions: auditorium with a free zone.
Handout: test forms, diagram, tables
Lesson structure:
The lesson is held in training mode.
The lesson is for 1 hour 30 minutes. - 2 hours.
Organizing time
At the beginning of the lesson, the teacher sets a situation-provocation. 2 students come to the board. They are given a game task: quickly and beautifully draw a building. The students begin to draw. The teacher stops the game and asks to start over because the students made a mistake. So he stops the game several times, interrupts the students and puts forward more and more new claims: the building should be voluminous, not flat, the roof should be modern, etc. The teacher then gives the student the opportunity to complete the drawing. After that, he reports that all the same, the artists did the task incorrectly, for example, they painted a residential building, but it was necessary to have a school. Therefore, there are no winners in the game.
- Did you like this game?
The students are upset after completing the assignment.
- Why?
- What happened in this situation? (conflict)
Why didn't the drawing work? (student comments: poorly explained, not understood, etc.)
- What was not done before the start of work? (did not discuss the rules for the execution of the drawing)
- Could the conflict have been avoided? (Can)
- How? (student answers)
A school is a space where hundreds of people, both children and adults, meet every day. It is no wonder that in their joint activities there are many conflict situations. The purpose of our lesson today will be “conflicts” and how they should be properly resolved. And even better, learn to behave in such a way that there are fewer conflicts in life. First, let's play the good-bad game.
GAME "GOOD - BAD"
They play in a circle. The first person begins the phrase with the words "This is good ...", naming some event, the next person refutes his statement with the words "This is bad ...", etc.
- Well done! What do you think this game teaches?
In any event, you can find good and bad. And how we relate to different events in life, various quarrels and misunderstandings can arise. Now let's talk about what is conflict?
Conflict is such a relationship between the subjects of social interaction, which is characterized by their confrontation based on oppositely directed motives (needs, interests, goals, ideals, beliefs) or judgments (opinions, views, assessments, etc.).
To understand the essence of the conflict, it is important to highlight its main features:
1. Conflict always arises on the basis of opposing motives or judgments. Such motives and judgments are necessary condition the occurrence of a conflict.
2. A conflict is always a confrontation between the subjects of social interaction, which is characterized by the infliction of mutual damage (moral, material, physical, psychological, etc.).
Group work: discussion
Mom decided to check her daughter's school diary. When she took the diary in her hands, a piece of paper folded several times fell out of it. Mom unfolded the sheet and saw that it was a note. Reading the note, she was caught by her daughter, who had returned from her friend. The girl snatched the note from her mother's hands. She screamed at her daughter. The girl slammed the door and closed herself in the room.
Answer the questions:
- Who is involved in the conflict?
- Who is to blame for the conflict?
- What are the positions of the parties to the conflict?
So let's look at the structure of the conflict. The structure of the conflict can be represented as a diagram.
Parties to the conflict (subjects of the conflict); P - the subject of the conflict; OK1 and OK2 - images of the subject of the conflict (conflict situation); M1 and M2 - motives of the conflict; P1 and P2 are the positions of the conflicting parties.
Identification of the main structural elements of the conflict
The parties to the conflict are the subjects of social interaction that are in a state of conflict or that explicitly or implicitly support the conflicting parties.
The object of the conflict is what causes the conflict.
The image of a conflict situation is a reflection of the subject of the conflict in the minds of the subjects of conflict interaction.
Conflict motives are internal motivating forces that push the subjects of social interaction to conflict (motives appear in the form of needs, interests, goals, ideals, beliefs).
The positions of the conflicting parties are what they declare to each other during the conflict or in the negotiation process.
Conflicts, which are a complex socio-psychological phenomenon, are very diverse and can be classified according to various criteria. From a practical point of view, the classification of conflicts is important, since it allows you to navigate in their specific manifestations and, therefore, helps to assess possible ways their permissions.
Consider the main types of conflicts:
Basis of classification |
Types of conflicts |
||
Spheres of manifestation of the conflict |
Economic Ideological |
It is based on economic contradictions It is based on contradictions in views It is based on contradictions in the social sphere It is based on contradictions family relations |
|
The degree of duration and intensity of the conflict |
Violent fast-paced conflicts Acute long-term conflicts Mild and sluggish conflicts |
Arise on the basis of individual psychological characteristics of the individual, are characterized by aggressiveness and extreme hostility of conflicting |
|
Subjects of conflict interaction |
Intrapersonal conflicts Interpersonal conflicts |
Associated with the collision of oppositely directed motives of the individual The subjects of the conflict are two individuals |
|
Constructive conflicts Destructive conflicts |
Such conflicts are based on objective contradictions Contribute to the development of an organization or other social system |
||
The subject of the conflict |
Realistic (objective) conflicts Unrealistic (non-objective) conflicts |
Have a clear subject |
What conflicts have you had recently?
- What feelings did you experience then?
- What gave rise to this conflict?
(children's answers)
Consider the main reasons why conflicts can arise.
The causes of the conflict are phenomena, events, facts, situations that precede the conflict and, under certain conditions of the activity of the subjects of social interaction, cause it.
- Among the huge variety of causes of conflicts, we first of all single out the so-called common causes, which manifest themselves in one way or another in almost all emerging conflicts. These include the following reasons:
- Socio-political and economic reasons are related to the socio-political and economic situation in the country.
- Socio-demographic reasons reflect the differences in attitudes and motives of people, due to their gender, age, belonging to ethnic groups, etc.
- Socio-psychological causes reflect socio-psychological phenomena in social groups: relationships, leadership, group motives, collective opinions, moods, etc.
- Individual psychological reasons reflect the individual psychological characteristics of the individual (abilities, temperament, character, motives, etc.).
The second group of causes in our classification will be called private. These reasons are directly related to a particular type of conflict. Here we will name just a few of them:
Dissatisfaction with the conditions of activity;
- violation of work ethics;
- violation of labor laws;
- limited resources;
- differences in goals, values, means of achieving goals;
- Poor communication.
The causes of conflicts reveal themselves in specific conflict situations, the elimination of which is a necessary condition for conflict resolution.
The conflict situation is the accumulated contradictions associated with the activities of the subjects of social interaction and creating the basis for a real confrontation between them.
Types of conflict situations
The nature of the conflict situation |
Manifestations |
Dishonest performance of duties |
Violation of labor discipline |
Unsatisfactory management style |
Errors in the selection and placement of personnel |
Inadequate understanding of specific situations |
Incorrect assessments, judgments about the actions of other subjects of social interaction |
Individual psychological characteristics of personality |
Violation of the rules of relationships accepted in the social group |
Low vocational training |
Brakve work |
Now raise your hands, who has ever been involved in a conflict situation?
Let's remember why your conflict situation arose. What was the cause of the particular conflict?
To do this, I suggest that you complete the sentence written on the board: "The cause of the conflict was that ......"
Children's answers:
Let's talk about our own behavior in a conflict situation and about the strategies of behavior in them.
Each party to the conflict chooses a form of behavior that the party adheres to throughout the entire conflict interaction. The choice of strategy is determined individual features and social attitudes of the participants in the conflict. The chosen strategy is not transformed into another even under the influence of the strategy occupied by the opponent.
Strategy of behavior in a conflict situation- this is the direction and features of the actions of the conflicting party, maintained until the end of the conflict.
Five main strategies of behavior are defined:
1) cooperation;
2) compromise;
3) avoidance;
4) fixture;
5) rivalry.
In addition to the individual preferences of the subject of the conflict and his moral principles, the choice of strategy is also influenced by objective factors: the degree of damage and the amount of losses in conflict interaction; an objective assessment of damage to the opponent; the quantity and quality of resources that can be used to achieve their goals and satisfy interests; the status of the opponent; the position of the opponent in relation to the other side in the conflict interaction (the chosen strategy of the opponent's behavior); assessment of the consequences of the conflict in a particular strategy of action; temporal and spatial characteristics of the conflict; principledness of solving the problem, the significance of one or another outcome of the contradiction for the subject of the conflict.
Cooperation is the most effective behavior strategy. The positions of the parties are equated with the positions of allies and partners, therefore a constructive resolution of the conflict is possible. The choice of cooperation is determined by the high significance of the problem being solved for all parties to the conflict, as well as their interdependence.
A compromise is preferable when the subjects of the conflict have equal statuses and resource capabilities or there is a danger of losing them with any other choice of action. Compromise is the most common strategy in real life, as it allows you to quickly resolve the conflict.
In the absence of a desire for active action to achieve the goal or time to achieve it, an avoidance strategy is chosen. If avoidance is used at the initial stage of development of the contradiction, the conflict fades and keeps the forces and resources of the conflict subjects unspent.
Adaptation is a forced strategy of action due to loss of strength, understanding of the impossibility of an alternative outcome, or other subjective reasons.
Rivalry is assessed by practitioners in two ways, since sometimes it brings immediate positive consequences, but it can also cause significant damage to one of the parties to the conflict.
Now let's try to determine which strategy of behavior in a conflict you prefer by passing the test (Thomas Test)
test material.
1. a) Sometimes I give others the opportunity to take responsibility for resolving a controversial issue,
b) I prefer not to discuss what we disagree with someone, but to draw his attention to what we both agree on.
2. a) I try to find a compromise solution.
b) I try to settle the matter in the interests of both the other person and my own.
3. a) I usually try to get my way.
b) Sometimes I sacrifice my own interests for the interests of another person.
4. a) I try to find a compromise solution.
b) I try not to hurt the other person's feelings.
5. a) When settling a controversial situation, I always try to find support from the other person.
b) I try to do everything to avoid useless tension.
6. a) I try to avoid trouble for myself,
b) I try to get my way.
7. a) I try to postpone the decision of the controversial issue in order to finally resolve it over time.
b) I consider it possible to yield in something in order to achieve another.
8. a) I am usually persistent in trying to get my way.
b) I first of all try to determine what affects someone's interests and what is the reason for the dispute.
9. a) I think that it is not always necessary to worry about what has arisen; disagreements.
b) I make an effort to get my way.
10. a) I strive hard to get my way.
b) I am trying to find a compromise solution.
11. a) First of all, I seek to determine exactly what the interests involved and the issues at issue are.
b) I try to calm the other person and, first of all, to save our relationship.
12. a) Often I avoid taking a position that can cause controversy.
b) I give the opportunity to the other in something to remain in his opinion, if he also meets me halfway.
13. a) I propose a middle position.
b) I insist that everything be done my way.
14. a) I tell the other my point of view and ask about his attitude towards it.
b) I am trying to show the other the logic and advantage of my views.
15. a) I try to calm the other person and save our relationship.
b) I try to do whatever is necessary to avoid, for example, tension.
16. a) I try not to hurt the feelings of another.
b) I usually try to convince the other person of the advantages of my position.
17. a) I am usually persistent in trying to get my way.
b) I try to do everything to avoid useless tension.
18. a) If it makes another happy, I will give him the opportunity to insist on his own.
b) I will give the other the opportunity to remain in his opinion, whether he also meets me halfway.
19. a) First of all, I try to determine the interests involved and what caused the controversial issues.
b) I try to put aside controversial issues in order to finally resolve them over time.
20. a) I try to immediately overcome our differences.
b) I try to find the best combination of gains and losses for both of us.
21. a) When negotiating, I try to be considerate of the other.
b) I always tend to have a frank discussion of the problem.
22 a) I am trying to find a position that is between mine; position and position of the other person.
b) I defend my position.
23. a) As a rule, I am concerned with satisfying desires
each of us.
b) Sometimes I give others the opportunity to take responsibility for resolving a controversial issue.
24. a) If the position of the other seems very important to him, I try to meet him halfway, b) I try to convince the other to compromise.
25. a) I try to convince the other person that I am right.
b) When negotiating, I try to be attentive to the arguments of the other.
26. a) I usually offer a middle position.
b) I almost always seek to satisfy the interests of each of us.
27. a) I often try to avoid disputes.
b) If it makes the other person happy, I will give him the opportunity to have his own way.
28. a) I usually strive to get my way.
b) In settling the situation, I usually seek support from the other.
29. a) I propose a middle position.
b) I don't think it's always worth worrying about disagreements.
30. a) I try not to hurt the feelings of another.
b) I always take a position in an argument so that we can succeed together.
Processing of results. The data obtained are correlated with the "key" (see Table 20) and the frequency of manifestation of each type of behavior is calculated.
Questionnaire key
Rivalry |
Cooperation |
Compromise |
Avoid |
fixture |
|
Interpretation of results. The number of points scored by an individual on each scale gives an idea of the severity of his tendencies to the manifestation of appropriate forms of behavior in conflict situations.
Having received the results of the test, perhaps one of you has discovered something new in yourself. But don't take it as something permanent. This is an occasion to reflect and further change your point of view, yourself.
Practice game.
Exist different ways exit from the conflict.
In the course of this game, we will look at some of the ways out of the conflict. Let's split into groups. Distribute tasks (the most typical conflict situations are selected).
Discuss the conflict situation, offer to find a way out of this situation.
Situation #1
The class is conditionally divided into two microgroups (groups), in which both there and there, there are strong leaders, activists, excellent students. For school year there is competition between them for grades, for teacher respect, for authority in front of the class, for primacy. All this is expressed in lessons in sharp jokes, in ridicule at each other. During the breaks there were "skirmishes", quarrels and even there were cases of fights. This situation stresses the whole class. How can children constructively resolve this situation?
Situation #2
There is a new girl in the class. He has a very good appearance, dresses well, studies well, is distinguished by eccentricity and originality. The girl immediately took the leading positions in front of her classmates - boys. Naturally, the girls in the class do not like this situation. At first, the “new girl” was warned that if she imagined this way, then she would not study in this class. But nothing has changed. She was met on the street, and a substantive conversation took place. She, in response, stated that she was not interested in the opinion of girls. How to achieve understanding?
Situation #3
At recess, you gave your friend your brand new, just bought mobile phone. He went with him into the corridor, and you stayed in the classroom. When you went out into the corridor, you saw that a friend was collecting the broken case of your phone from the floor. It turns out that he was pushed by the guys running past, and he dropped the phone, and he himself is not to blame for anything. You know your parents will scold you. What to do? How not to spoil the relationship with a friend? How to explain everything to parents?
So, how to get out of a conflict situation?
A sudden conflict can be avoided. If it is not possible to avoid it, it must be met calmly and strive to resolve to the satisfaction of all conflicting parties. Prepare for conflict resolution. Define your goal. What would you like? If you are resolving a conflict through negotiation, choose a time and place that is convenient for both parties.
For the correct management of interpersonal conflict, it is important not only to remember your position and understand the position of the other side, but also to be aware of the state of the field as a whole.
Calmly declare your interests, ask your opponent if he wants to work on resolving the conflict. If he does not want to, then how he sees the solution to the problem. Offer different options. If they are not accepted, work on the conflict yourself.
If the enemy is ready to resolve the conflict, be aware of your state: what you are feeling now and whose side you are taking at this moment - yours or your partner-opponent.
Seek understanding, not victory. Calmly discuss the causes of the conflict. Understand what led to the conflict: the actions of the other side or your misunderstanding of the situation. Assume the best, don't blame until you figure out what the other meant. Ask the right and tactful questions.
Defend your position, but do not put pressure on your partner. Don't ask him to change. Pressure limits the possibilities of both sides and does not contribute to the resolution of the conflict.
Watch what you say:
o Use words that "lift" a person, not "lower" him.
o Ask yourself if what you are now saying is true, are you exaggerating?
o Don't use the words "always" and "never".
o Be truthful and do it kindly.
o Sometimes it is better to remain silent.
Attack the problem, not the person.
o Talk about specific things, don't generalize.
o Solve the main issues, do not cling to the little things.
o Don't talk about him, talk about yourself. Instead of "you're lying" say "I have different information".
o Relax and don't be afraid. Remember the spirit of the field, if you do not interfere with it, the conflict will be resolved in the best way.
Be aware of your feelings and express them. Be sincere with yourself and your partner. Share your feelings the right way. This will help your partner understand you better. Allow your partner to freely express their emotions. Understand your feelings: determine which emotions you can express and which ones you suppress. Why? Reporting your feelings is one way to defend your position.
Manage your emotions Don't suppress them, but don't let them control you either. As you express them, be aware of the space around you. Once you've expressed your emotion, calmly let it go. Don't cling to your fear, resentment, or pain. If, after fully and sincerely expressing your emotions, you feel uncomfortable, you can back off. Concession does not mean defeat, but gives the opportunity to continue the dialogue.
A flexible and creative attitude to the situation is one of the conditions for conflict management.
Learn to feel the state of the other, the general "atmosphere" of the conflict. Remember that you are in a common field, where each participant plays a role in the overall process.
Be open to the possibilities that may arise in the process of conflict resolution.
When you become aware of the subsidence of emotions or loss of interest in the conflict, admit it. Get out of your role and literally change position- go to another place, look from the outside at the conflict, at yourself and your partner. What have you learned about yourself and the current situation? Perhaps you will open up new options for relationships.
If you now want to help your partner, return to the conflict and take his position. Do it sincerely, ask how you can help him. Watch him, try to feel what he is experiencing now. Help him express his feelings.
Taking the position of our adversary helps us understand which sides of ourselves we are currently in conflict with. A conflict situation arises because we ourselves have something that agrees with our opponent. The field organizes the conflict so that we understand ourselves better. And until we understand this, we will fall into similar conflicts or stay in one conflict situation for a long time.
If you were able to sincerely work through all the moments of resolving the conflict, it will subside or move to a new level, where other problems and new feelings will appear. Work on this level too.
If the conflict subsides, get out of it. Forgive yourself and your opponent. Forgiveness frees, restores relationships, eliminates negative emotions. Find words that correctly reflect the situation, without humiliating you and your partner.
If the person says "no", that's not your problem. You do what is right for you.
If joint efforts did not lead to a resolution of the conflict, try to solve the problem yourself. To do this, imagine the parties to the conflict as internal parts of your "I" and work through it.
To become a master of conflict management, you need to develop receptivity. This makes it possible to feel the intentions of the partner (opponent), allowing for a more constructive dialogue. To develop receptivity, learn to live in the present moment - “here and now”. In the present, a person is balanced and open to new things, able to respond flexibly to a changing situation. Conflict management is available to those who know how to manage themselves. This can only be learned through personal experience, in the process of internal growth.
To prepare for the resolution of interpersonal conflict you can use the help of a friend. Describe the situation as objectively as possible. Ask him to play the role of your opponent. Use what you read above.
SUMMING UP PSYCHOLOGIST'S FINAL WORD:
“While living life, we again and again find ourselves in a conflict zone, but we should not be afraid of this objective circumstance. We need to resolve conflicts in such a way that no one sees that there were conflicts.
And in conclusion, I would like to tell you that the use of constructive ways to resolve the conflict will help you keep friends and not make enemies.