Cruel person definition. Indirect signs of human cruelty. How cruelty manifests itself
Cruelty and its most dangerous form - special cruelty, cause the most severe condemnation of society. To understand and adequately evaluate cruelty, it is necessary to find out how it differs from aggression and aggressiveness. These concepts are often confused, which leads to an ethical, political and legal error. However, there is a lot in common between them, and first of all, that cruelty is always realized with the help of aggression, i.e. without it there is no cruelty. Therefore, it is impossible to understand the nature, causes and mechanisms of the manifestation of cruelty if one ignores the essence, content and all the main forms of aggression and aggressiveness, if one does not investigate these two most complex phenomena in their close interweaving and mutual influence.
Aggression and cruelty are manifestations of violence, but compared to cruelty, aggressiveness is a broader and largely morally neutral concept, since aggressive actions are far from always violent, at the same time, any cruelty is aggressive. Therefore, we can say that cruelty is a special quality of aggressiveness. If aggression and aggressiveness (like altruism) are of a natural nature, then cruelty is of a purely human, social origin, the product of precisely human contradictions and passions, conditioned by upbringing and living conditions. Having arisen on a biological basis, aggressiveness manifests itself in a qualitatively different area - the social one.
Many animals are aggressive, and this is their way of existence, but they are never cruel, and in general cruelty as a moral category is not applicable to them. However, the behavior of many animals, to the human eye, can look cruel, even very cruel, and therefore cause sharp negative attitude. However, this does not give grounds to consider animals cruel.
Aggression is an integral feature of many types of activity, an essential requirement for them, respectively, people involved in such activities, for example, a warrior, a football player, must be aggressive. Many aggressive actions are morally neutral and not only not punishable, but also socially approved. But aggressiveness immediately ceases to be such as soon as it reaches a different quality - cruelty. In it, depending on the specific damage and other important circumstances, it is usually punishable - from moral condemnation and a yellow card from a football referee to death penalty. But in some relatively rare cases, even special cruelty is encouraged, more often by the state, less often by society, for example, during torture. Even from national history it is known that in the 1930s torture was prescribed. Cruelty is an aversion to life and the most complete embodiment of hatred, very often unaddressed hatred, hatred in general, hatred of everyone, and it is the stronger, the more a person or system is alienated from constructive values. Therefore, hatred acts as a way to compensate and destroy what demonstrates to it its own insufficiency and inferiority.
Prominent German psychologist X. Hekhauzen reveals the concept of the word "aggression" explaining that in everyday language it means a variety of actions that violate the physical or mental integrity of another person (or group of people), cause him material damage hinder the realization of his intentions, oppose his interests or lead to his destruction. This kind of anti-social connotation forces one and the same category to include such diverse phenomena as children's quarrel and wars, reproaches and murder, punishment and gang attacks. A person, performing an aggressive action, as a rule, not only reacts to any peculiarity of the situation, but finds himself included in a complex prehistory of the development of events, which makes him evaluate the intentions of other people and the consequences of his own actions. Since many (though not all) types of aggressive actions are subject to the same regulation by moral norms and social sanctions, the researcher still has to take into account the diverse inhibited and veiled forms of aggressive action.
X. Heckhausen considers aggression to be intentional actions with the aim of causing harm, and such cases of aggression are also possible that are not a reaction to frustration, but arise “spontaneously” from the desire to prevent, harm someone, treat someone unfairly, someone offend. Therefore, one should distinguish between reactive (as a reaction to a situation) and spontaneous aggression.
Consequently, aggressiveness can be understood as a feature (feature) of an individual, group or state, and aggression can be understood as appropriate behavior.
In its most general form, aggression and cruelty can be understood as a demonstration of force, a threat to use it, or the use of force against an individual or group of individuals. Both phenomena can be individual and collective in nature, and are always aimed at causing physical, psychological, moral or other damage to someone, often the goal of violence is the destruction of a person or a group of people. Therefore, we can say that violent actions, including cruel ones, always have their own inner meaning, are committed for the sake of something, some kind of benefit, gain, not always obvious and clearly understood by others and by the acting subject himself. So, with the help of cruelty, having caused suffering and torment to others, a person can acquire a special psychological state, not always realizing his need for it, as well as the connection between his act and his experiences. Therefore, manifestations of cruelty, as well as aggressiveness, from the subjective, personal side, are never meaningless.
Violent behavior can be defined as the intentional and deliberate infliction of torment and suffering on another object for their own sake or the achievement of other goals, or as a threat of such infliction, as well as actions in which the subject admitted or should have foreseen that such consequences could occur. If aggressiveness is a personality trait, and aggression is a manifestation of this trait, then cruelty can also be considered as a personality trait that is realized in cruel actions. A cruel person can be called one that is characterized by ruthlessness, inhumanity, lack of empathy and compassion, and at the same time a tendency to commit cruel deeds, preferring them to resolve emerging life problems. Cruelty, on the other hand, should be classified as a personality trait only if it is stable and fundamental for a given person, inherent in him.
Thus, we can conclude that cruelty is always aggressive; without aggression, attack, violence, it cannot take place. At the same time, not every aggression is cruel and not every aggressive person is cruel. But every cruel person is aggressive, if we keep in mind that cruelty can be verbal, i.e. take place only in words, as well as be imaginary in nature. In the latter case, for example, a person who longs to take revenge or harm another is able to vividly imagine how tormented by his cruel actions, an enemy or one who arouses hostility, anger or antipathy in him. Therefore, it is quite possible that cruelty as a fundamental personality trait, which largely determines the worldview of a given person, will never be embodied in his actions.
It is always necessary to distinguish the personality from its behavior. If this is not done, it will be difficult to understand both. An act is always something external in relation to the individual, and what he seems to say exhaustively about a person is by no means always true. Many people who, in defense of violence, inflict heavy damage on their attackers, are not aggressive. The criminal law punishes not for the fact that a given person is aggressive or cruel, but for the fact that he has committed aggressive or cruel acts. The negative personality traits inherent in the offender (the same cruelty) can in no way be considered as circumstances aggravating criminal liability, although they can affect the nature of criminal punishment.
Violence can correspond to the law, or it can contradict it and morality too. Cruelty, with the exception of masochism, is always immoral, but, like aggression, not every violence is cruel. In general, aggression and violence are so close to each other, so often merge, that it is quite legitimate to use them as synonyms.
In different societies, at different stages of development of the same society, the level of violence will be different, which depends on the nature of the social relations existing at a given time. Therefore, knowledge of such relationships is necessary condition understanding the roots of violence and violent crime as well.
Cruelty is the worst quality of violence, but even in cruelty itself, special layers can be distinguished, different degrees of its social danger. Life practice and the criminal code distinguish between simple and special cruelty, the latter being assessed by law as an aggravating circumstance. By general rule a person who has committed such actions causes the greatest damage to a person and society and carries an exceptional threat to basic social values, although specific gravity such acts in the total mass of crimes is small. It is no coincidence that it is the acts that cause the most acute reaction among the population and the public, and those responsible for their commission are severely punished.
Particularly cruel acts themselves do not necessarily have to be committed against a person. An emotional blow of exceptional strength can be inflicted by severe torment on animals, such as a beloved dog, or by destroying spiritually valuable things for a given person, related to memories dear to him, desecration of the memory of the deceased, etc. In addition, special cruelty can be manifested in inaction, and also not only in physical actions, but also in words.
Cruelty in general and special cruelty in particular are evaluative ethical and legal, as well as psychological categories. Attributing this or that act to “simple” or especially cruel or not cruel at all depends not only on the assessments of the subject, his social affiliation and social status, moral principles and views, intelligence, culture, etc. The solution of this issue also depends on the moral and psychological atmosphere in society and its values, on the level of morality and ideas about good and evil, the limits of violence in the social group to which that person belongs. executive, which should answer it.
In general, particularly cruel crimes may include actions or omissions committed through physical and/or mental violence, when the victim(s) are subjected to special torment and suffering for the sake of the torment and suffering itself, for selfish reasons and for other motives, or in cases where when their real infliction is obvious, but ignored by the guilty. In many cases, it is not possible to determine in advance which acts are “simply” cruel and which are especially cruel. It depends on the specific circumstances of the case, including the physical and mental vulnerability of the victim, and on the assessment position of the investigator and the court, which have the exclusive right to classify certain acts as particularly cruel, in which they can be assisted, for example, by experts. They can only be really special, out of the ordinary torment and suffering of the victim. These can always include, for example, torture and infliction of many bodily harm.
The most difficult for psychological understanding are those cases when the type of cruelty in question takes place only with the aim of inflicting special torment and suffering on the victim, especially if this is intertwined with selfish motivation and sexual moments.
Significant damage to society is caused by the fact that a minor is incited to commit a crime or he is involved in a crime. This damage becomes even greater if a teenager is involved in particularly violent acts. Thus, considerable psychological and moral damage can be inflicted on him, but here, first of all, you need to think about what the victim suffered. It should be noted that some young people, due to emotional dullness, coldness and lack of empathy, may not perceive their behavior as exceptionally cruel. A young person who commits especially cruel acts takes the path of complete disregard for human life and health, dignity and honor of the individual, his special attitude towards other people, his antisocial position towards them is formed, a general coarsening and "brutalization" of the teenager occurs.
The minor receives a lesson in cynicism and cruelty, which he learns well because he is in a sensitive, i.e. the most “receptive” age for external influences and lessons. Naturally, the recurrence of such and similar actions becomes very possible.
Cruelty is a characterological personality trait that is directly related to the moral and psychological aspects of the personality itself. Cruelty is an attitude expressed towards other people or animals, which implies rudeness, infliction of pain, inhumanity, insults and other forms of violence.
There is also another aspect of the definition of cruelty, which involves taking pleasure in the suffering of another in the course of actions that are unacceptable in a particular culture. Accordingly, the question of how to deal with cruelty can be resolved in terms of differences in these approaches, and also have its own characteristics in different cultural communities. After all, what for some may be considered humiliating and unacceptable, representatives of other cultures can bring pleasure and be revered or express respect.
Common to any manifestation of cruelty is the consciousness of destructive acts. This concept is separate from affective outbursts of aggression or from causing harm under the influence of drugs or due to mental illness. With cruelty, it always means that a person understands the consequences of his actions for another and realizes their destructive direction.
Cruelty, as a habit, is inherent in people with certain mental disorders. A variety of deviations and their depth can be provoked by a person’s own psychological trauma, a critical moment in life circumstances, or in the process of prolonged cruel treatment of the person himself, as a result of which an adequate perception of the world was violated.
The tendency to violent behavior is inherent in every person, being the opposite. This means that those who are cruel are capable of generous acts of sympathy, and those who have endured and pitied for a long time can be extremely cruel to those who were previously protected. As long as cruelty does not manifest itself in the active world, a person cannot claim to fully know himself and control his behavior.
The stronger and deeper a person hides his cruelty, the more forcefully it can break out. So mothers who do not recognize this quality in themselves can mock children, children can get the eyes of live kittens, and surgeons can perform operations without anesthesia.
What is cruelty
Cruelty is often synonymous with aggression, but these concepts cannot replace each other. filled with feelings (fear, hunger, self-defense, possessiveness), and cruelty is empty. She personifies complete indifference to the feelings and needs of others, a lack of understanding that another can be hurt, sad or offended. Cruelty is inherent only to man and has nothing to do with the animal world, there is pure aggression, which always reflects the needs of reality, whether it is the extraction of food or the defense of one's territory. No animal is capable of inflicting suffering on others for its own pleasure.
Many believe that cruelty is aimed at maintaining the uniqueness of one's own ego and exclusivity, by exercising strength and power over others. Others believe that cruelty is a way of protection, anticipating possible blows from a stronger opponent or gradually weakening him with constant attacks. The theory of traumatic events presents cruelty as a certain shell of insensibility surrounding a too vulnerable person who, unable to cope with injustice and the resulting pain, completely turned off his sensitivity to the world. At the same time, the same vulnerable core of personality is preserved inside, and if you get to it through all the barriers of cruelty, you may encounter a frightened child in need of support.
Cruelty always reflects dissatisfaction with oneself or the manifestations of one's life, attracting others to answer instead of changing on one's part. This is a trait that hides deep inner problems, such as excessive vulnerability, and complexes, attempts to demonstrate strength that is not there.
A cruel person is perceived as strong and almost omnipotent (due to lack of sensitivity and reduced moral principles), but this trait is not positive and strong among all the others. Since there are no internal and external limiting factors (more precisely, sensitivity to them), the manifestations become stronger each time. So, at first a person can insult others, then give cuffs, then beat him to fractures and complex hematomas, and if everything is not stopped at this stage forcibly, then cruelty takes the form of torture, sadism and murder. Thus, it is a self-accelerating tragedy, often ending in crime.
Abusive people usually have difficult communication, no relatives and relatives, but there is a huge baggage of internal pain points. Such people leave themselves with their own problems, and their inner world constantly hurts, perhaps that is why the sensitivity to someone else's pain disappears.
The only period of manifestation of cruelty as a norm is a short period of childhood, when the child learns to control his own emotional sphere, and is busy with active knowledge of the world. At certain stages, there is a need to inflict pain on others, so that an understanding of the rejection of this comes from one's own experience, responses are received and the consequences are realized. Problems begin when this period ends, but cruelty remains.
Causes of cruelty
Cruelty has many faces in its manifestations, but there is not a single person who has not encountered it. Someone is more fortunate, and he only hears about it in the news, while someone lives in it all the time. There are as many reasons for violent behavior as there are cases, but they can all be divided into several categories.
The most common reason is dissatisfaction with one's life, in which the accumulation of stress and irritation requires an outlet. Usually, those who are closest and least protected become such a lightning rod (in families these are children, at work these are subordinates, in deserted places these are animals and tree branches). This state of mixed anger and impotence needs psychological adjustment, because. over time leads to psychosomatic disorders (usually of cardio-vascular system) and disrupts the social interaction of the individual.
This is followed by misunderstanding or indifference to the feelings of the one who is harmed. Often people cannot understand how they harm with their words and actions, especially if they are not told about it. In situations where a person does not have serious emotional disturbances, the responsibility for abuse lies with both. If you are uncomfortable, hurt, offended, but you continue to pretend that everything is fine, neither directly nor indirectly making it clear that such treatment hurts you, then the other person will not be able to find out about it telepathically, moreover, he can assume what kind of treatment do you like.
Cruelty, as displaced aggression, is increasingly manifested with the advent of society and its norms and rules. When a person does not have the opportunity to show discontent and aggression, defending his point of view in front of an authoritarian boss, then it is likely that he will break down in the family. If the upbringing in the family is built on controlling one's feelings and complete submission, then over time such a person will show cruelty in all other available places. This behavior may indeed look like cruelty, unreasonable, but in fact it is displaced aggression and requires finding constructive ways to implement it.
If in childhood a person was deprived of the experience of pain, did not acquire an understanding of the consequences of his actions, then cruel manifestations can quite often occur in his behavior, without malicious intent, but solely from misunderstanding. A similar condition is similar with pathological deviations in the psyche, developmental disorders and a decrease.
The most terrible cause of cruelty in its consequences is the desire to avenge the pain suffered. The perniciousness of the consequences of this category is due to the fact that a person chooses the most painful and terrible ways to get even with the offender - from emotional to physical, often stretching it for a long time period and striking at the most sensitive places. This happens when a person's own pain inside has burned out all remaining feelings and leads him to insanity.
The last causes of cruelty are the most difficult and long-term in their rehabilitation, as well as the perception of the world laid down from childhood. A person brought up in cruel conditions believes that this is not only the norm, but also a manifestation of love, and the correction of such a worldview requires enormous efforts, time and does not always end successfully.
Types of cruelty
Types of cruelty can be distinguished by the object to which it is directed - to people and animals (usually this division is used in legal aspects to impose punishment under a certain article). Another system that distinguishes the types of cruelty is based on its manifestation and severity.
So, there is hidden cruelty, when a person does not act directly. This can be expressed in biting remarks that look like praise, but at the same time degrading, or in accidentally spilling hot coffee right on the lap of another. Open cruelty, as opposed to the first, is usually a bolder manifestation and a harbinger of negative consequences. Here, a large role is played by previously gained experience, which remained painful, and then a person, at the slightest reminder of situations, can react with increased aggressiveness, even when something seemed to him. But in addition to such delicate moments, open cruelty includes infliction of physical suffering, emotional abuse and bullying, deliberate humiliation and other manifestations. AT legislative framework punishments are foreseen precisely for open cruelty, since it is the only provable and the most dangerous of all types.
Reasonable also refers to manifestations of cruelty, when a person perceives everything through certain filters, finds explanations for this, but stubbornly does not want to look at reality. Presenting everything in gloomy colors and shifting the emphasis in a bad direction can spoil life, both for the person himself and for those around him, in addition, it forms a certain type of perception of the world, where everyone is considered an enemy or plotting something, which means that they do not deserve mercy. Another manifestation of minor cruelty includes constant bullying, banter, calling offensive nicknames and other minor, but destructive in their strength, daily manifestations.
Various experts offer different ways to deal with cruelty: it can be imprisonment, forced or voluntary psychiatric treatment, psychotherapeutic consultations, changing activities, adjusting the upbringing process, direct conversation with the designation of unacceptable relationships. It all depends on the form and severity of the manifestation of this personality trait in life.
(387 words) Cruelty is an evil and indifferent attitude towards people around, which is most often manifested in aggression and violence. It can hardly be called an innate quality - it has its own roots. Often, cruelty begins with the family or social circle. If at the moment of choosing between good and evil, honesty and meanness, a person gives preference to the second, he thereby allows cruelty to enter his heart. In order to fully characterize this concept, we turn to domestic literature for examples.
So, the personification of this quality can be considered A. Shvabrin, one of the negative heroes of the novel by A. S. Pushkin " Captain's daughter". The young officer, whom Pyotr Grinev meets in the Belgorod fortress, does not initially seem to the reader to be evil and dishonorable. However, it is subsequently discovered that Shvabrin is petty, vindictive and ready to do anything for his own benefit. Manifestations of Alexei's cruelty can be found, for example, in the duel scene between him and Grinev: he took advantage of the moment, and when main character distracted, hurt him. From this we can conclude that the young man showed cruelty. Another, already larger-scale example is the capture of the Belgorod fortress by Pugachev. The cynical officer immediately goes over to the side of the enemy and becomes one of his commanders, participating in reprisals and lynching of captives. It is this behavior that characterizes a cruel hero, because he not only hurts people, but also does not see this as a problem. To his goal, he goes over the corpses and does not feel remorse.
Another example is the main character of F. M. Dostoevsky's novel "Crime and Punishment", Rodion Raskolnikov. He is the embodiment of reflection, hesitation, and even a furious search for the meaning of life. Confused in his reasoning, the hero committed a fatal act - he quite cruelly killed the old pawnbroker, based on the conviction that only a humane and strong-willed person is capable of such a step. Despite the fact that the woman he killed was not the embodiment of virtues, Raskolnikov soon realizes what a terrible mistake he made in his judgments. What he considered a manifestation of humanity to society turned out to be just an act of aggression against him. Murder is the weapon of a cruel person, and when the protagonist realizes this truth, he undergoes deep mental anguish and pangs of conscience. The cruelty shown by him in the crime becomes his own punishment.
Thus, based on all of the above, we can draw the following conclusion: cruelty is an aggressive, indifferent and evil attitude towards people around us, which a person shows by choosing the wrong priorities in life. If he decides that his needs are above the laws of morality, ethical principles or religious canons, then his heart will certainly harden.
Interesting? Save it on your wall!Cruelty- a set of components of behavioral logic, characterized by the purposeful infliction of suffering to a living or inanimate being.
Succubus Dictionary
Cruelty (an inhuman, rude and insulting attitude towards other living beings) is a moral and psychological trait of a person, which manifests itself in causing moral or physical damage, in a rude and despotic attitude, as well as in obtaining internal pleasure from the suffering of people or animals. Cruelty is a concept close to aggression, but it is a more stable personality structure. Cruelty implies complete indifference to the needs and suffering of another person or living being. She does not allow the thought that he might be hurt, bad, sad, hurt, annoyed. A person who shows cruelty "does not hurt for another." Cruelty is accompanied by insensitivity, emotional coldness, indifference, lack of mercy. The flip side of cruelty is excessive vulnerability. Often this destructive moral and psychological trait appears as a result of a psychotrauma or under the influence of a long-term exposure to a traumatic situation. A person is shackled in cruelty, as in armor, and inside him there remains a suffering I. It is ambivalent. On the one hand, it is completely unprepared to recognize the significance of another person, and on the other hand, it wants to be loved, pitied and caressed. That is, cruelty is a kind of cover from fear, a contradiction between a sense of one's own inferiority and the lofty claims of society.
The manifestation of mercy, love for people and animals, recognition of the value human life empathy and empathy are the main ways to overcome cruelty. If you look even deeper, then this is a deep work on your own fears and complexes.
- Cruelty is unmercifulness, insensitivity, inhumanity.
- Cruelty is a manifestation of extreme dissatisfaction with life and oneself.
- Cruelty is an unsuccessful attempt to hide one's complexes and personal vulnerability.
- Cruelty is a false way of demonstrating one's own strength and greatness.
- Cruelty is disrespect multiplied by pride.
Disadvantages of cruelty
- Cruelty makes a man a monster.
- Cruelty is hard to stop; it can lead to crime.
- Cruelty snowballs and leads to even more cruelty.
- Cruelty brings evil to the person himself, his family and friends, as well as society.
- Cruelty is an unreliable and destructive cover for one's own inferiority.
Manifestations of cruelty in everyday life
- Social advertisement. In the project of social advertising "New Space of Russia" a poster "We can overcome cruelty only together" was released. It is designed to cultivate the eternal cultural and family values of the Russian people and fight against social cruelty.
- Film "Cruelty". In 2007, the film distribution appeared New Product Russian cinema called "Cruelty". This is a story about a teenage girl, with a difficult childhood and a broken fate, and about a woman, Zoya, who is successful in life, but a failure in love. The slogan of the film is "This is not love - this is cruelty." The picture tells about anger, aggression, a sense of revenge, about the cruelty of the heart. Is it possible to cross over love and friendship? Can! But what will happen next? To answer this question, you should watch the movie.
- Child cruelty as a phenomenon. Child cruelty at a certain stage is a normal age-related psychological formation. After all, the growing baby is just learning to control his emotions, and this mechanism has not yet been debugged. It is important to understand and correct behavior by the parents. You need to give vent to your emotions. Active games, sports, walks, animals, "pillow fight" - these are helpers in the fight against aggression. Today, however, social workers and psychologists are concerned about uncontrolled, increasing child and adolescent cruelty. What drives these kids? http://www.vesti.ru/videos?vid=540108
- The cult of cruelty. In some religions or sports, there is even a cult of cruelty. It is believed that the manifestation of cruelty is a demonstration of one's own strength and power. The moral and ethical side of the issue remains outside the brackets.
How to overcome cruelty
- Acceptance and awareness. The most important step in the fight against cruelty is the awareness of the problem and its acceptance. Only the understanding that cruelty is the greatest evil can help get rid of it.
- Love for oneself and recognition of universal human values. Since cruelty is based on dislike, disrespect and self-denial, then work on this quality should begin with the restoration of self-love and getting rid of deep fears. It is very important to understand and accept the value of human life as such. Value your life and the lives of others.
- Sympathy and mercy. If you find manifestations of cruelty in yourself and want to get rid of them, then try to train in mercy. Try to think about the suffering of other people, feel sorry for and feed homeless animals, give alms. Do not miss the moment to help another person by performing an act of mercy.
- Building your strength and successful style. Usually cruelty is shown by people who feel their inferiority in one or another area of life. These are people whose internal self-esteem is either underestimated or overestimated. And this reverse sides the same medal. Therefore, the fight against cruelty is facilitated by the alignment of self-esteem, the formation of success and pleasure from social acceptance and approval. Strive to achieve success and public recognition. Being positive from other people will make you a more tolerant person.
Golden mean
Cruelty
compassion
sacrifice
Winged expressions about cruelty
The more worthy a person is, the more he sympathizes with living beings. - Francis Bacon - All cruelty comes from weakness. - Lucius Seneca - Uncertainty breeds anger. - Vyacheslav Bucharsky - Cruelty and fear shake hands with each other. - Honore de Balzac - Aria Neyer / War crimes: brutality, genocide, terror and the fight for justice The book is interesting concrete examples and analysis of the problem of cruelty at the social level. Here are the facts about the fight against violence in different countries and at different levels of government. William Golding / Lord of the Flies it piece of art is a recognized classic of world literature. It tells about respectable boys who, having received a decent upbringing, ended up on a desert island. What happens when people forget about love and mercy? Something bad happens. The book will bring real pleasure, reveal the problem of rigidity and make you think about serious things.As often as yesterday, a person whose character seemed almost perfect to us shows unheard-of and unexpected cruelty to others. If you analyze his behavior before such situations, you can find some indirect signs of cruelty and aggressive behavior of a person (hereinafter referred to as the subject). Let's look at what you should pay attention to when getting to know the subject and communicating closely with him.
Everything is perfect.
You went on a first date, liked each other, and had nice small talk. Your new chosen one is well-mannered, restrained, devoid of nervousness and calculates his every action. Stop! Everything is too perfect. It is very difficult to control every little detail of your behavior, especially when you first meet a nice person. This means that a person has put on a mask and tries to appear better than he really is. The question is, what is the purpose of such behavior? This is a great desire to please or unwillingness to show true essence?
Egocentrism.
Everything must go according to the plan and desire of the person. He will never give up personal pleasure in order to please another person. If he needs to accompany a loved one to an event, while missing his favorite car races, he will choose the latter. We can say that this is ordinary selfishness, and what does cruelty have to do with it? And besides, in any situation where there is a choice between the interests of a person and his partner, he will choose his interests, even if, at the same time, the second one suffers (physically or psychologically). The inability to put oneself in the place of another and understand the harm done is also cruelty, although not obvious.
Mood.
The subject experiences sudden mood swings if things don't go the way they want. Its internal state is completely dependent on external factors. He does not have self-sufficiency, self-control and independence, thanks to which, a person behaves calmly and controls the situation (and not the situation controls him).
An expression of anger.
Frequent emotional outbursts, manifestation of anger, even in petty situations. Provoke a person to a conflict and see how he behaves. He can, because of a petty claim, sharply raise his voice, but quickly become the same. Or raise the tone of the waiter who brought the wrong dish. Or in public transport, rudely scold a person who stepped on his foot. The most truthful emotions last for the first couple of seconds, and then the person regains control over himself and becomes good-natured and calm. Therefore, carefully monitor the first reaction of the satellite to provoking factors.
Impatience for other people's opinions.
The subject seeks, at any cost, to impose his point of view. And he is very nervous if he is dealing with a confident and conscious person who has his own opinion on everything. Giving advice, guidance is the desire to control someone else's life. And a cruel person does not recognize someone else's will and a point of view other than his own. If your friend began to nervously prove something, while interrupting and not allowing a word to be inserted, this is a bad sign. In future relationships, he will control every step of his soul mate, and impose absolutely everything - from the style of clothing, social circle and ending with the value system.
The man is a pathological liar. Because of the fear of being rejected, showing his true face, he lies, constantly looking for excuses for his antics and makes others to blame for everything. A friend does not like to talk about his misdeeds, or he finds excuses. As in the situation:
- Dear, where were you yesterday?
- It's a lie! Who told you?
Unusual situations.
You can find out about the unusual actions that the interlocutor did. Pay attention to the following: participation in extreme situations in which the interests of other people (animals) are affected, all kinds of pranks on acquaintances who, at the same time, experienced fear, resentment, disappointment. He may casually mention such adventures himself.
Forcing certain sexual acts without regard for the desires of the other partner. And even vice versa, knowing about the unwillingness of a person to do something, the desire to achieve this at any cost. The subject does not have an internal boundary, and each time he will invent more and more sophisticated sexual behavior, until an unforeseen situation occurs in which someone gets hurt.
behavior with other people.
Intentional provocation of conflict situations, defiant behavior in society. The subject chooses a victim who is weaker than him (physically, mentally), and with equals he tries to behave with restraint, to control his actions. Remember if you have ever been in a situation where dangerous situation(hooligans in the alley, aggression of wild dogs, etc.) did your companion behave suspiciously, showed cowardice?
For example, you walked holding hands, and a crowd of young people passed by who asked for a cigarette. And your young man at the same time, the hand twitched, betraying fear, unpreparedness for protection. If passers-by demanded money, your companion could well leave you and run away. The most interesting thing is that such a person will then find a million reasons to justify his behavior, starting from the rush to the last tram and ending with a sharp anticipation of the suddenly turning on the iron at home.
Family behavior.
In relationships, a person seeks to take a dominant place, while humiliating the dignity of loved ones. If he is not rebuffed, he becomes convinced of the correctness of his behavior and aggravates the abuse. An indirect sign of cruelty in the family can be a biased attitude towards children, in which it is important not to understand the situation, but to find the child’s guilt and a reason for subsequent punishment.
It is very difficult to immediately reveal the hidden cruelty of the interlocutor. This can only be done when stressful situation in which a person cannot control himself and behaves naturally. With a strong desire, you can specifically create such a situation in order to look at the reaction of a new acquaintance. In any case, if even a few points described in this article are present in a person’s behavior, it is worth looking at it more closely and objectively. And draw conclusions on further communication with him.
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- Praise of the Most Holy Theotokos Praise of the Mother of God with an akathist what they pray for