What if the husband is a sissy? Perspectives of your traitor and henpecked mother. Constant phone calls to mom
Dear readers, this article will be interesting for you if your man is a sissy. You will learn how to make sure that this is indeed the case. You will know how to proceed in such a case. You will find out what exactly influences the formation of such attachment of an adult to his mother.
Types of sissy
The very name "sissy" says that the husband is attached to his mother, and that he lacks a masculine principle, he is still a child. Symbolically, two types of such men can be distinguished.
- Absolute. Never make a decision on your own. Mom decides everything. Such relationships are born in childhood, when a woman herself decides which circle to enroll a child in, with whom he should be friends, which university to enter. So in adulthood, he determines what job to go to, whom to marry. After the creation of the family, the mother will live nearby.
- Partial. The man is quite independent. He decides who to marry. However, choosing a life partner, he is looking for one that will remind him of his mother. In fact, he does not need a partner, he needs a person who will remind his mother and continue to take care of him. Such men often marry a woman much older than them.
Reasons for the formation of personality
You probably guess, if the husband is a sissy, then this is no accident. This is preceded by events in childhood.
- The presence of an incomplete family. If a boy grows up without a male upbringing, next to him is his mother, grandmother, the child develops an incorrect perception of the world around him.
- A woman after a divorce can turn her child against her father and forbid them to see each other. Subsequently, such a mother can protect her baby from the influence of other men, she will be afraid that he will be hurt. So the boy will grow up, knowing only one model of behavior imposed by his mother.
- Having an unwilling father. The child grows up in a complete family, but dad is completely uninterested in him or spends too much time at work. Such a boy, among other things, will grow up, believing that the paternal model of behavior is correct, and will transfer it to his future family.
- Arrogant maternal care. Mom prevents her son from becoming independent, does everything instead of him. The woman seems to be taking care of her baby. In fact, she is raising a weak man.
- Maternal blackmail. A woman who spent her whole life on a child, lived only for him, will not want to part with her son when he grows up. She will not let him go to another city to study, and can also interfere with relations with an objectionable girl. In order for the child to listen to her, he will begin to threaten his health. And the trouble is that many guys stop thinking about their needs, they are afraid to harm their mother with their act, they ruin their lives.
- The aggressive behavior of the mother can also suppress the masculinity in the boy.
- Excessive pity of a woman for a child leads to the fact that an adult man wants to be pitied, to be sympathized with.
Main manifestations
Let's look at what signs may indicate that your husband is "his mother's son."
- When you communicate, he constantly remembers the opinion of his mother. When talking, he can speak about himself in the plural, as it turns out, he means himself and his mother.
- The parent constantly calls her son, asks where he is and what he is doing, controls his actions.
- An adult man continues to live with his mother and not because he does not have the finances to live separately or because she needs constant care.
- The guy allows his mother to interfere in his personal life, listens to her opinion. Maybe even leave the girl at her insistence.
- At the first quarrel, he runs to his mother.
- The guy already literally on the second date runs to introduce the girl to the parent. This happens because her approval is important to him.
If it so happened, and you realized that next to you you have not an adult independent man, but a person who depends on your mother's opinion, then you need to decide what to do in such a situation.
- Don't try to turn your spouse against your mother. It is possible that he will choose her.
- Avoid conflict. It is better to say that you respect the mother-in-law, but do not agree with her certain opinion.
- Try not to nag your husband, otherwise you will definitely become a bad daughter-in-law.
- Praise your husband in the presence of friends and relatives.
- Make sure that the mother-in-law becomes your ally, not a rival. Do not forget to praise her for giving birth to you such a spouse.
- Sometimes a girl needs to become observant, follow how her mother-in-law communicates with her husband, and try to adopt her model of behavior.
- If you notice that your spouse is annoyed by something in your mother, then do not repeat her mistakes yourself.
- Try to tear your husband away from your mother's skirt by moving to another city or at least a district. Although it doesn't always work. A woman can go with you or visit you daily.
- You can try to create conditions under which the husband will be forced to get used to independence. For example, instruct him to go shopping or pay utility bills.
Come to terms with what you have, you yourself chose such a fate for yourself, you saw who you married. Psychologist's advice boils down to the fact that you need to let go of the situation. There is no need to try to resist the mother-in-law, so just waste your nerves. Decide that in your family the main thing in the house will be you, not your spouse. Get it on your nose that quarrels and unflattering remarks about his mother will only lead to even more problems in the family. Establish friendly relations, adopt the mother-in-law's model of communication with her son, she knows exactly what is best for him. If you are not ready to live with such a person, it is better to let go. He may not be the one for you.
Every woman dreams of a relationship with strong man, which will become a reliable support. But often girls choose sissy. Who are they? How to behave with a man of this type in a relationship? We will consider the answers to these and other questions in the article.
concept
A sissy is a timid and shy man who cannot take a step without maternal approval.
Such representatives of the strong half of humanity very rarely accept independent solutions. It is very difficult to rely on them in difficult situations. And most importantly - mom! She is constantly present in the life of an already matured boy. It sometimes seems to the wife of such a man that she created a family not with her husband, but with his mother. The mother-in-law regularly participates in the lives of the young and gives advice related to the arrangement of housing, the choice of dishes, curtains and other interior items, as well as the upbringing of children. Some mothers of men can even control what the daughter-in-law of her grown-up child feeds.
Mom's opinion
Such behavior is often not caused by domineering behavior on the part of the mother, as many believe. On the contrary, mother and son have been in close spiritual connection for a long time. As a result, a process associated with psychological continuation occurs. In other words, people begin to depend on each other's opinions, and any decisions are made only after agreement.
It is important to understand that with broken separation ties, normal relations between adults are practically impossible. Yes, a man can start a family and have children. He is able to move from his mother to his wife. But in such a relationship there will always be three, and the spouse will feel superfluous, since the man has a close psychological connection with his mother, which has been formed since childhood. Accordingly, it is difficult, and sometimes even impossible, to compete in such a situation. Therefore, if you find yourself in such a "trap", you must understand that it is very difficult to be in a relationship with a person when he is a man - a sissy.
signs
Sometimes it may seem to a woman in a relationship that her chosen one has a lover or is of a different orientation, but this is not so. Perhaps the whole point is that the partner extols his adored mother, and you are just a wife for him, who must accept him with all the shortcomings and bad habits.
The main signs of a sissy:
- He constantly calls up his mother and asks her advice about a particular situation, a future trip or a planned purchase.
- Most of his free time belongs to his mother. He can easily quit all your joint affairs if his mother needed a little help.
- In the phone call list, you can find many outgoing and incoming calls from dear mommy.
- And also you can find correspondence in which the mother-in-law can give meaningless advice, and also not in the best way speak to you.
- Your chosen one regularly sets his mother as an example to you. Perhaps he believes that she cooks better, is more versed in raising children.
- In his speech, you can hear "crowd phrases" or quotes from his mother.
- His mother regularly gets into your relationship and clarifies information related to the appetite, health and affairs at work of her son. Moreover, she may be interested in the breakfast, lunch and dinner of her "baby", as well as the clothes in which the man left the house.
- It is common for sissies to devote their beloved mother to all quarrels, details of family and intimate life.
- Such a man does not want to grow up. He is very comfortable in this state. When his wife asks him to do something, he will easily complain to his mother that his wife is “sawing” him.
If most of the above signs match, then you can be sure that your man is a sissy. What to do in such a situation? It is up to the woman herself to decide. It is important to understand that sometimes life with such a chosen one becomes unbearable. Often, it resembles torture, and it is very difficult to “pull a man out of the tenacious hands” of mommy.
Where do they come from?
Probably every woman at least once in her life has heard such an expression as a sissy. Psychology, namely research in the field of relationships between parents and children, shows that such a situation occurs in families where the mother was deprived of male attention. Often these are single mothers. Sometimes in such families there is a father, but he does not have any influence on the situation. He is either very busy with work, or has not had serious feelings for his wife for a long time. As a result, a woman is overwhelmed by a huge "cup" of unspent love, and at the same time, the need for a reciprocal return of warmth and care. A child in such a situation is the very source, therefore, an unlimited amount of care, guardianship, love and tenderness falls upon him. Unconsciously, a woman begins to educate a man who is ideal in her understanding, who will experience the same warm feelings for her.
Growing up, the boy begins to feel like the center of the universe. Later, he realizes that no one except his mother is able to guess his thoughts and desires, which means that his mother is best woman in his life. Of course, our parents and children are the most precious people for us, but the situation with sissies is a little different.
In addition to positive emotions in a relationship with a mother, material benefits are often traced. Mothers of sissies are always ready to help immediately. It will not be difficult for them to wash, iron, cook and clean an adult child's apartment. Moreover, she will arrange her "adult baby" for a good place acquaintance work, and will also take complete control over potential offenders.
Advantages
Of course, in men with such a psychological type, most girls find only flaws. Most often, we tend to notice only concessions in relation to parents. However, you can also find pluses in a man who is commonly called a "sissy." Psychology identifies the following qualities:
- They are romantics. Men who have a close psychological connection with their mother most likely took over from her part of the female nature and sensitive organization. They are able to make pleasant surprises, romantic dinners and gifts. Such men will easily choose your favorite perfume or bouquet of flowers.
- Care. He will "lightning" rush to your aid if you need it.
- Compliant character. Such a man will not defend his point of view, but will easily give in to you, even if he was convinced of his opinion a few minutes ago.
disadvantages
If your boyfriend is a sissy, then you will have to put up with a number of his shortcomings, since it is pointless to fight them. These include:
- The constant demand for increased attention to one's person.
- Lack of initiative and shifting responsibility to the spouse.
- Fear of making absolutely any decisions, even the most insignificant ones.
- Constant consultations with mom on issues in all areas of life.
For some women, such a list will be quite enough to avoid a serious relationship with representatives of this type. The situation is much more complicated if your husband is a sissy.
What to do?
Undoubtedly, a domineering mother-in-law can negatively influence a woman who is in a relationship with her son. But sometimes the cause of disagreements in the family is much closer than it might seem. Often men behave like sissies when they are allowed to. Who? Spouse.
Why does a man get out of bed with a beautiful and sexy girl, and then go to the other end of the city to his mother to have lunch there? The thing is that the beloved mother has set the standards of behavior, but the spouse does not. It is very important to make it clear to a man what you accept in a relationship and what is not. And if there are no rules, then there is nothing to follow.
It is important to understand that the observance of the mother's instructions and rules will continue until the beloved woman appears with her own requirements.
Any girl should make it clear to her man that she expects the same respect as his mother. In addition, the spouse may try to convey to her chosen one that she and the children are more important than all the people around him. Moreover, people from the environment of the partner should be clearly aware that his wife must be treated with respect.
Girl behavior
Everyone knows that a sissy is a man without initiative. It is very difficult for girls with such chosen ones to build relationships.
It would seem that it is simpler: you should not mess with a sissy, and there will be no problems. However, it is quite difficult to calculate this type of men. They may turn out to be a successful businessman or an inflated handsome man. Often, sissies are very attractive to girls due to their romantic nature. But, as soon as the relationship can be equated to serious, then his mother immediately flashes on the horizon.
If you have managed to marry a man of this psychological type, but you want to see the head of the family in your chosen one, then take him seriously from the very beginning. Leave all decisions to your husband. Your partner must understand that you are a weak girl, unable to cope with the difficulties of life without the help of a representative of the stronger sex.
Be feminine
If you want your partner to show his masculine qualities, then do not be afraid to appear weak and defenseless. You should regularly show him your beauty, sexuality and tenderness.
Your chosen one should always want to return home, and there he should be waiting loving girl, not "saw".
be patient
A man who depends on the opinion of his mother is very sensitive to criticism and reproaches. Everyone knows that any mother praises her child and assures him that he is the best. As mentioned above, sissies are used to feeling like they are the center of the universe.
It is in your best interest to learn to express your dissatisfaction in a calm tone. Try to give arguments and explain in detail the reasons for your discontent.
Who benefits?
The former is a sissy, so we had to leave. Few women are ready to put up with this state of affairs and continue relationships with this type of man. But! If you are a strong woman with a masculine core, then life with a sissy might be a great option for you. Your spouse will always agree with you. Moreover, the fear of female authority will not allow him to change you. Of course, this is not a fact!
In any case, the decision about such a relationship is up to the woman. If she is ready for this, then she will have to come to terms with the authority of her mother-in-law, as well as the indecision of her son.
A sissy is a concept that is often perceived by the representatives of the stronger sex as a humiliation. Therefore, you should not call your chosen one that.
Majority women's magazines they try to convince any woman of the futility of such a relationship. Some representatives of the beautiful half of humanity share this point of view. Moreover, they are absolutely sure that it is impossible to change a sissy. Psychologists are not so categorical in this regard.
Consider tips to help loosen the tight knot of the relationship between your chosen one and his mother:
- Don't wage open war. Try not to show your chosen one hostility towards his mother. Remember that insults or ridicule against the person dearest to him can scare away, after which the man will easily run away from you.
- Learn from the experiences of others. If your man has already been divorced, which was not without the participation of his mother, then keep in mind that your chosen one treats the female half with caution and distrust.
- Clearly define the boundaries of your personal life. Designate the rules that his mother cannot be violated, and also delicately set the line of what is permitted.
Is it possible to educate?
A sissy is a "diagnosis". Therefore, it is unrealistic to re-educate such a man.
It is important to understand that in any case, you will have to build relationships with the husband's mother. She has been an authority for your chosen one all her life, so it is unlikely that your re-education will be crowned with success.
As you know, if the situation cannot be influenced, then it is necessary to take control over it into your own hands. Otherwise, regular omissions with your mother-in-law will not only ruffle your nerves, but also spoil your relationship with your lover.
Try to get out only together with your spouse on travel, cinema, theater or hiking. Don't forget to arrange romantic dinners. If you are a real family, then you should spend time together, without involving your spouse's mother.
If you live with his parents, then insist on separate housing. In extreme cases, it will be very difficult to leave later, especially for your chosen one.
This article was written for my good friend, a young woman Tatyana, who turned to me for advice as an older friend. Tatyana was worried about the question: husband is a sissy - what should I do?
Even in childhood, every girl begins to dream of a prince. And each has its own perfect image. But almost everyone wants to see a brave, decisive, self-confident man next to him, ready to take responsibility for the family on his broad shoulders. And when it turns out that your husband is a sissy, there is little happiness from this.
Mommy's boy or the perfect man?
Tatyana also dreamed of meeting her ideal man. And met. Calm, balanced, neat and well-groomed Andrey was attentive and caring. He gave flowers, took me to a restaurant. His manners were impeccable. Tried to avoid noisy companies. He was helpful and serious. Yes, he often remembered his mother out of place and out of place, but this does not mean that a man is a sissy. This suggests that the guy values family values, respects and loves his mother.
It seemed to Tatyana that he would treat the mother of his children in the same way. Yes, sometimes in his austere briefcase she saw sandwiches neatly wrapped in cellophane. Yes, he prudently took care not to chew on a stale pie in the buffet, and that Andrei is not a sissy at all. Tatyana thought so.
Yes, he was often busy on weekends helping his mother around the house, but Tanya understood everything and was not offended. In those days when the beloved agreed to give her more time and they went for a walk, the idyll was often broken by his mother's call, after which Andrei could rush home headlong without explaining anything or even apologizing. But even such moments did not alert the girl in love. She could not even think that her Andryusha, so correct and positive, is a typical sissy man.
When the truth was revealed...
The truth, unfortunately, was revealed to Tatyana only after the wedding. Sobering up came when it became clear that the husband could not make a single decision on his own. On all issues, Andrei consulted with his mother.
He loved comfort, but did not want to do anything to maintain it. Elementary washing of dishes brought him into indignation. After all, all the housework and maintenance of an overgrown son was always performed by his mother.
The shirts were washed and ironed on time, the sandwiches were packed. Andryusha constantly set his mother as an example: “My mother does it differently ...”, “Mom said that this is wrong ...” As a result, Tatyana began to think that her mother-in-law was omnipresent, she was constantly present in their lives, knew about every detail. If the son did not appear with his mother for several days, his mother's "serious illness" followed, because of which Andrei abandoned all his affairs and urgently went to his mother ("After all, his mother is the only one!").
After another showdown, Tatyana realized that her husband was a sissy. And the most beloved, important and irreplaceable woman in his life is not her, but his mother. The situation in the family was complicated. The offended husband went to live with his mother. And no less offended wife decides whether it is possible to improve relations.
Where do "big kids" come from?
Let's try to understand the situation systematically. The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that an anal-visual man can become a sissy if there is a mother with a skin-visual bundle of vectors. The formation of a life scenario - a man's sissy - begins in childhood.
Boys with an anal-visual bundle of vectors are kind, gentle, obedient, needing their mother's praise more than others. Such a child constantly wants to feel his mother's love. With all his behavior, he shows that he is a good boy, he has earned the approval of the closest and most necessary person to him - his mother! However, the presence of such properties in a child does not guarantee that he will become a sissy.
For the formation of the sissy complex, the presence of a skin-visual mother with unrealized skin and visual vectors is also necessary.
Who is guilty?
Due to the unrealized skin vector, such a mother tries in every possible way to limit her child, to protect her from peers, from life's adversities: "Don't ride downhill, you'll break your nose!", "Don't be friends with this boy, he'll teach you bad things!" At the same time, an unrealized visual vector requires attention. If the mother, among other things, did not take place in personal relationships, then she tries to literally bind her son emotionally to herself, manipulating in a skin way and blackmailing in a visual way. In other words, the mother uses her son to fill her visual vector's need for emotional connection.
The constant repetition that her boy is the most wonderful, because he always does what his mother said, causes in a child with an anal vector an unconscious desire to please his mother.
Adult sissy
With age, the situation almost does not change. For a sissy man, the mother always remains on the top step. She is invariably the most important, beloved, often even the only woman. For this mother, it does not matter how old her son is. She is sure that her boy is the best and no woman deserves to be with him, because no one can give him so much love and attention.
Any woman who appears in the life of a son evokes negative emotions in such a mother. This is especially true for brides. Almost never a daughter-in-law fails to establish relations with her mother-in-law if her husband is a sissy.
Husband sissy - what to do?
What to do if you got a sissy husband?
Various psychology websites say that you need to come to terms with the fact that the mother-in-law will always take an active part in the life of your family, or run as fast as possible away from the sissy man and his caring mother.
What to do if the current state of affairs does not suit you, but you want to save your family? The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan proposes to solve the problem by determining the unconscious connections of a man with his mother. If you realize this life scenario, your man - a sissy and his mother will no longer be enemies of the same camp for you, you will immediately understand how to solve the problem, whether it is worth fighting it, and if so, by what methods.
Women who have established relationships in the family share the results after completing the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan:
“... And at home the most me are waiting for me Dear people. My Man, who looks at me with such adoration in his eyes that sometimes tears come from happiness. Lord, it's good that I got to the SVP training and didn't lose it all. After all, all the qualities that irritated me a year ago - slowness ... I could say: “well, what kind of brake are you, you can somehow think and think, do it faster” - now they command respect and admiration. If he nails a shelf, then it will definitely be possible to hang himself on it, he will not fall. Made with quality and guarantee. This feeling that with him is like behind a stone wall and you know for sure that you will never betray or change, it inspires. I love to bury my nose in his neck, it smells of tomorrow, security and safety ... "
Most of these marriages are doomed to failure in advance, because the strong symbiosis of mother-in-law and husband is an all-destroying force that even loving wife. But if the feelings have not faded away yet and there is a strong desire to maintain a family union, despite all the difficulties and disadvantages of such, several ways to win back your own husband and find family happiness given in this article will help you with this.
Is a happy marriage possible?
So what if the husband is a sissy? A huge number of women around the world suffer in marriage with a man who is not able to become the head of the family, because he is still the child of the woman who raised him for herself. It is for herself and nothing else, because she is not going to let him go or share with someone. She needs it at any time of the day: pick her up from the cinema, make dumplings together, do a general cleaning in her apartment, buy new flower pots, and so on ad infinitum. And he will do all this when you need him! It is possible that at the first call he will jump out of bed, leaving you to sleep alone among cold blankets to the delight of a triumphant mother-in-law.
Sooner or later, such marriages break up, because living with a child and having children from him is a depressing picture and one can hardly see real female happiness in it.
But some wives still manage to take the reins of power into their own hands, and perhaps you will succeed. To do this, it is necessary to understand the psychology of the behavior of both, outwitting each of them.
Why does the husband obey his mother, and not you?
Psychologists often receive tearful letters in which women ask a soul-searching question. AND best advice, which they give in this situation: stop fighting with the mother-in-law, because her authority cannot be undermined, and all attempts to do this will only alienate her husband even more.
So why does the husband obey her, and not you? Everything is very simple. Steve Harvey also spoke about this in his show, who answered in live to women's questions on behalf of all men. A man always follows clearly established rules and standards! In a relationship, these rules should be set by a woman, ideally a wife. But if the mother did it first of all, then her interests will always be guarded to the detriment of yours, because, most likely, you didn’t even try to show him yours, fearing quarrels with your husband and a war with your mother-in-law.
Interesting!
Until you set your own clear rules and exercise control over their implementation, a man will please his mother, because the control on her part is so tight that he is simply afraid to disobey.
5 ways to improve your family life
What does a wise wife need to do in order to establish family life with her husband, without becoming a victim of his mother? Here are some effective ways:
- Don't criticize his mother. Yes, it is very difficult, and in some cases it is completely unbearable to keep your mouth shut, but if you try hard, he will stop moving away from you, which will return a trusting relationship.
- Befriend his mother. Perhaps one of the most difficult, but definitely victorious steps. Friendship does not have to be sincere, but if you play your part well, soon the mother-in-law's dislike will turn into indifference, and she will stop talking nasty things about you to her son.
- Become self-sufficient . Oddly enough, it is men - sissies who are drawn to strong and self-sufficient women, often much older than themselves. This is easy to explain: they are more comfortable this way, because such a wife somehow reminds them of a mother who always makes decisions herself.
- Praise him . Try to praise him for every little thing in order to motivate him to do something useful much more often, and he, like a child, will be pleased with the praise.
- Become the head of the family . Alas and ah, but those who did not find the strength to leave their sissy must find the strength to become the head of the family, because he will never take this place. And without a captain, the family ship will break on the rocks.
No matter how much you love your husband, first you need to understand what to do if the man turned out to be a sissy and stick to the plan, because there are several undeniable facts:
- It is impossible to prove to your mother-in-law that you love her big but still small boy.
- You will always be a hindrance to her, and therefore the more resistance you show, the worse you will be.
- The husband will only believe her, even if she is wrong.
Keeping such a marriage, do not forget that the children will always take an example from the father, so there is a great chance to accidentally raise the same son, and you already have a double responsibility.
For those who are not yet married
If everything is clear with your husband, then what if your boyfriend is a sissy? The problem is that it is impossible to remake an adult man, education, like a stigma, for life. If you understand that your boyfriend is a sissy, then it’s better to think a hundred times whether it is worth continuing a relationship with him at all, because in the future you will already become the wife of a sissy, who will be attacked by your mother-in-law endlessly.
The only chance to save your relationship is right and, most importantly, set priorities in time, explain to him what you can put up with and what you never can. And only if he accepts the game on your terms, you can think about a future joint future, but if he does not accept them or systematically breaks promises, run away from him like fire.
But what if you love him madly and can't just leave him? Well, first try to make friends with his mother, but do not forget that she will treat you as his temporary hobby, and demand attention and love for her son as from a wife. Therefore, before starting a serious relationship with a sissy, carefully weigh all the pros and cons!
svetlana rumyantsevaWho do people call sissy? Such a definition is given to a man who, in the process of transitional age, did not experience social isolation from an imperious mother. Is it possible to create with a sissy and what line of conduct should a woman follow in a relationship with such a man?
What if my husband is a sissy?
Before answering the question "what to do?" Let's figure out who a sissy is. Signs of a sissy man appear, as a rule, even before marriage, so you have every chance to recognize it before such important step in life. The first sign: a man, on a call from his mother, leaves a woman during a date and rushes at her call. Such an incident is not the only one in which it becomes clear that the man is a sissy.
Despite such unpleasant situations, women still retain the hope that after marriage everything will change, and the man will behave in family life differently. Alas, the state of affairs does not change after the marriage ceremony, and, as a rule, a woman cannot take the mother’s place in her husband’s life. The mother-in-law will do everything to remove her from the pedestal, the newly-made wife of the son did not work out. Therefore, before you connect your life with a sissy, you should weigh the chances of creating a happy family.
A sissy man obeys his mother in almost everything
The main problem of creating a family with is that the "number one" in a man's life is his mother. It is not easy to deprive a mother of this position. All tricks can be in vain, and for many years the head of your family will not be your husband, as is implied in full-fledged families, but his mother.
Mother's sons are brought up and taken care of by women who do not have a relationship with a man. They are unhappy in their personal lives. Such women want to receive from their son everything that they did not receive from their husbands. As a rule, sissies are brought up in incomplete families where the male father is absent. As a result of being raised by a mother who did not have a personal life, an emotionally immature man is obtained, prone to infantilism, who cannot imagine existence without a mother's guiding hand.
Starting a family with a sissy is a heavy burden. From such a man one should not expect such things as common for family life as: compassion, help, support. His mother created a beautiful son out of him, but not a man, husband, head of the family and father. The mother-in-law sees in her son's wife a rival for his attention and love, she tries to snatch him from the family, to take all his time. A woman married to a sissy is doomed to spend lonely evenings, because a man will spend a lot of time with his mother, because "she is alone." Any gesture of the daughter-in-law for the mother-in-law is a reason for critical statements and accusations. The mother will turn her son against his wife in order to keep him by her side by all means.
The sissy husband will not have the courage to take the side of his wife, he will be afraid to "upset mom." It is easier for him to enter into a deal with his conscience than to create a conflict situation with his mother. A woman married to a sissy is often powerless to change something. When a man unites with his mother, attacks will begin from two sides, and this is a harbinger of the collapse of the family. Women who have experience of relationships with a sissy remember this period of life with a shudder.
An alliance with a sissy often breaks up, even if a woman decides not to argue with her mother-in-law.
A logical question arises: why do sissies get married? Judging by the behavior in marriage, they do not feel the need for a wife, love, sex. There are two options for the prerequisites for the wedding of sissies:
Mom wants grandchildren. If this is the reason, the mother-in-law will carry the pregnant daughter-in-law like a crystal vase. However, after the birth of the long-awaited child, the daughter-in-law will lose her right to vote, and the grandmother will take the upbringing of her grandson into her own hands.
Society pressure. Acquaintances, relatives and friends from all sides attack the sissy with a demand to marry. Lacking a strong character, a sissy gets married so that others will leave him behind.
Be that as it may, relationships in the family depend not only on the man. Perhaps the reason is not only that the man was raised this way by his mother?
Behavior of a woman in marriage with a sissy
Undoubtedly the domineering mother-in-law and the complete obedience of a man to her word is the main problem of marriage with a sissy. But sometimes the cause of disagreements in the family lies much closer. It's simple: a man behaves like a typical sissy, because his woman, whom he loves, allows him to be like that. And this is the woman's fault.
Having chosen a sissy as your life partner, be prepared to become his mother and at the same time endure attacks from your mother-in-law
Do you know why a man gets out of a comfortable bed and drives away from beautiful woman at night on the other side of the city to cook borscht with mom? because his mother set the standards of behavior, but his wife did not. loving man will behave appropriately if the requirements for behavior are known to him. He will make a woman happy, because he will understand: compliance with the requirements of his wife is a guarantee. But if the wife has no rules and requirements, then whose set standards will the man follow? That's right, the attitudes of the woman who told him what she would put up with and what was unacceptable, that is, her mother.
If the mother has set standards for her son's behavior, he will follow them literally, as he fears the consequences of disobedience. He behaves this way also because the requirements of the mother do not change with time. These are simple requirements: unconditional love, boundless respect, mother's help and protection. She insists on these standards of behavior, and a man, like a caring son, will never challenge them.
This can continue until a wife appears in the life of a man with her own attitudes and requirements regarding his attitude towards her. The requirements of the wife are not complex, but they are in contact with the rules of behavior with the mother. Here they are:
A wife requires no less respect than a mother;
Wife and children - above all others and mothers, including;
Everyone in a man's social circle should clearly understand what follows from his relationship with his wife.
If a woman has not previously set such standards, then why is she surprised that a man leaves at the first call of his mother? If a woman is silent and does not express reasoned dissatisfaction with his behavior (for example, when he leaves her with the children and goes to his mother to plant vegetables in the country; or when his mother allows herself to raise her voice at her, and he does not stand up for his wife), then how a man learns that his relationship with his mother violates the requirements of his wife? Speak up and be heard.
Men don't have telepathic powers! If you don't like something, tell me.
The daughter-in-law cannot compete with the mother-in-law. After all, the husband's mother is the woman who taught him to walk, knows him better than anyone else. Nevertheless, the wife can control the observance of the foundations and rules adopted in marriage. Leaving your wife and children at home in order to go to your mother’s house to cook borscht at night will become unacceptable behavior only when the woman herself begins to consider this impossible and notifies her husband about it. All that is required of a woman is to speak about discontent in a calm and prudent manner.
Is there a chance for marriage with a sissy?
Creating a prosperous family with a sissy is not easy, but possible. In addition to setting rules and standards of conduct, the following tips and conditions should be taken into account:
The family of a sissy with a self-sufficient woman is considered ideal.. The lady will not depend on her husband, and the family will not experience material difficulties when the mother-in-law asks for material help. The marriage of a sissy with a lady who is 7-12 years older than him is called successful. A man settles in a familiar environment, and his mother will be more respectful of a daughter-in-law of almost the same age as her.
The bride must find mutual language with the mother-in-law, but it is better to become her friend. Without this condition, the marriage will not last. The mother-in-law will certainly try to draw her son's wife into the struggle for the title of the Main Woman in his life, but such a path for the daughter-in-law is a fatal mistake. The mother always has a trump card in her hands, so rivalry with her is useless. The only way to save the family is to make the mother-in-law not a competitor, but an ally.
If you live in your mother-in-law's territory, then the first thing to do is to move. It doesn't matter that it will be rented living space, but living with your mother is unacceptable. Only in this way will it be possible to limit the influence of the mother-in-law on her husband.
Eliminate from your husband the wrong ideas about family life imposed by your mother-in-law. He must learn to respect his own family. Let the man know that he is the head of the family, and the well-being of you and your children depends on his decisions. Teach him to understand the consequences of his behavior.
Praise a man even for a slight manifestation of independence. Making a decision and understanding the consequences for it should not cause panic in a man, but satisfaction. Support your husband, do something together, and thus he. You can develop masculine qualities in a sissy with praise. Negative criticism will get you nowhere.
In no case do not show negativity addressed to the mother-in-law. Maintain a neutral position. Look at the situation from her point of view. The husband's mother lost the meaning of existence when the son created his own family.
What if my husband is a sissy? Make friends with your mother-in-law!
Few women enjoy life with a sissy. With such a man, they play a dominant role and manage the state of affairs. The family of a sissy and a powerful woman is ideal - he remains dependent on the decisions of the woman, and she has the usual power.
If you are not one of those women, then you need to take matters into your own hands. Women who find patience, strength and courage in themselves eventually save their marriage and create a prosperous family. A wise woman takes advantage of her mother-in-law's fear of losing her son. It’s worth waiting for a while and not trying to become “number one” in your husband’s life. Do not interfere with the communication of the husband with the mother on the scale that she needs. Having made sure that the daughter-in-law does not interfere with communication with her son, the mother-in-law will “slow down”, and then the woman will carefully and carefully take control of the situation. But do not expect that a man will become the head of the family in the general sense of this definition. It is more likely that the place of the head will remain with you.
February 2, 2014, 10:38