Incompatibility of a man and a woman in a relationship. Sexual compatibility of zodiac signs - is your partner in bed right for you? Immunological incompatibility and its consequences

You have a great relationship, you understand each other perfectly, treat each other reverently and tenderly, but ... you are faced with certain problems in intimate life. And you can not understand what is the reason for what is happening. But it is quite likely that the reason lies on the surface and it lies in the incompatibility of sexual addictions. To find out, take this quiz with your partner.

Daily;
twice a week;
once a week;
no more than twice a month.

2. Do you prefer to have sex:

Early in the morning;
in the afternoon;
in the evening, before going to bed;
regardless of the time of day.

3. Are you sure that in order to finally reach the peak of pleasure, you need to:

Excitation will increase if the stimulus is periodically repeated;
incessant, and at times intensifying stimulation erogenous zones;
the complete absence of any attempts to stimulate.

4. While making love you like:

Constant experiments and the embodiment of fantasies of an erotic nature;
you are against everything new and prefer traditional poses and caresses;
you do not mind periodically “introducing” something new into your intimate life, but the main thing is that it should not be so often;
you do not mind repeating what you saw in this or that film or in an erotic magazine.

5. You would be most attracted and aroused by sex:

In a bath filled with water;
in a cozy bed with silk sheets;
on the seashore or directly in the pond;
in the back seat of a car;
on the carpet in front of the fireplace, in which firewood crackles and from which heat emanates.

6. Are you sure that your partner is the most "turns on":

Bare chest/male torso;
your rear view;
he loves to admire the face and hair;
he admires slender/strong legs.

7. After sexual intercourse is over, most of all you want:

Relax by hugging your loved one;
you don't mind chatting at all;
smoke right in bed or drink a glass of wine;
I want only one thing, to sleep soundly;
you wouldn't mind doing it all over again.

So, now let's see the results.

If you and your partner matched at least one answer out of seven questions, or if there was no match, it is worth taking some steps. This result is evidence that you have an imbalance with your partner. And if you still want to save the relationship, then act faster! To begin with, it is simply necessary to find out the sexual preferences of a partner and in the future try to compromise as much as possible. Although you still shouldn’t force yourself, because as a result, you won’t bring yourself to stress for long.

If two or three suitable answers coincided, then this is still better than nothing. You lack only immediacy in expressing your feelings. If you found common ground in communication with a partner only when it comes to intellectual conversations, then this does not allow you to fully relax in order to achieve the same harmony at the physiological level. It is likely that literature of this kind will be able to help you, and perhaps the help of a specialist will be required.

If we are talking about a match in four or five answers, then in this case we can already safely draw conclusions about the presence of sufficient sexual compatibility of partners. And even in the event that there are some failures in harmony, you still continue to amaze and fascinate your other half, not without fatigue. And the more you get to know each other, the stronger your union will be, in which you can enjoy your partner.

If there are six or seven identical answers, then your couple has complete mutual understanding and harmony, which means that each of the partners can count on a reliable shoulder next to him, which you can always rely on. The most tender feelings and experiences are also present in intimate matters.

Who are you in bed? Quiz

Knowing your temperament is essential. Who you are? Passionate lover? Maybe even dangerous and fatal? Or, on the contrary, are they restrained in their feelings and the realization of sexual fantasies? What are you like in bed? Our test will help you answer this question.

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 9 minutes

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The dream of every woman is to meet the very soul mate with whom you can create a happy family and live “in sorrow and joy” until the very gray hairs. And the half really once “knocks on your door”, but not everyone manages to live together until the very gray hairs - some family boats go to the bottom. And all because there is no "foundation" of relations - compatibility between spouses.

What is it, and how to find harmony in marriage?

What is compatibility in the relationship of spouses - signs of complete compatibility and harmony in marriage

The term "compatibility" in this case can be called a multi-level "pyramid", in which all levels are interdependent and intersected.

The main ones are:

• Physiological compatibility. Initially, it occurs at the first mutual sympathy. It includes the understanding that you like everything in a person - his appearance, smell, his gestures and facial expressions, manner of speech and gait, and so on.
• Intimacy can also be attributed to the 1st point. Or compatibility. The satisfaction received by both partners speaks of their compatibility.
• psychological compatibility. It is of great importance and has a powerful effect on them, regardless of the presence / absence of physical compatibility. In general, without going into philosophical reasoning, the essence of this type of compatibility can be expressed in one phrase - "they understand each other perfectly."
• Intelligent Compatibility. It is also of considerable importance, given that a well-read person with serious intellectual capabilities, who is constantly looking for new ways for self-development, simply will not be able to build his life for a long time with a partner with whom there is nothing to talk about, except about the menu for tomorrow. This type of compatibility includes common interests, harmony in joint leisure, watching movies and listening to music, discussing news, and so on.
• Household compatibility. He never twists his toothpaste cap and leaves it on the sink, and she doesn't like to do the dishes in the evening. He brews a tea bag 2-3 times, and she prefers to drink brewed tea. He loves to waste money and lives one day, she is a great housekeeper. Household incompatibility breaks family boats into pieces, sometimes in the first year of marriage. And sometimes just because the dishes in the sink are left in the morning every day.
• Socio-psychological compatibility. A story from the heading "The Prince and the Pauper". She is a girl from the working class, he is a representative of the golden youth. This union in 80% of cases is doomed to collapse. In addition, the environment of each partner, status, communication environment, and so on, also matter.

Signs of compatibility in marriage

How to understand that you are two halves that have developed in life like puzzles, and not strangers who will one day discover that there is nothing in common between them?

What are the signs of compatibility?

• You are spiritually compatible. Your goals, needs, views and opinions, interests and attitudes are united and coordinated.
• You are compatible in terms of the properties of characters and the emotional sphere , and are able to exist in a single domestic space without conflicts.
• You are united in matters of raising children and organization of family functions.
• You get mutual pleasure from intimacy and just from the presence of a partner next to you, and your temperaments (appetites) are the same.
• You have no disagreements on issues of nationality and religion.
• You have normal and equal relations with relatives partner (mutual).

Summing up, we can say that the full compatibility of partners is their compatibility in all spheres of life and aspects.

When matched less than 70-80% talk about poor compatibility and a high risk of divorce.

Factors of psychological compatibility of partners - what ensures harmony in the relationship of spouses?

As noted above, psychological compatibility is most important in the joint life of spouses. A happy union is built on the stability of relationships, which are impossible in the absence of all the components of psychological compatibility.

What factors ensure harmony in the psychology of marital relations?

1. emotional side.
2. The degree of affection of spouses to each other.
3. Degree of social maturity.
4. Psychophysical level of spouses. It is ideal when the temperaments, the biological rhythm of life, and the peculiarities of the work of the sense organs coincide in a couple. Tension happens in relationships where he is an owl, she is a lark (or vice versa). Or where he is a choleric, and she is a phlegmatic.
5. similarity of characters. The closer the spouses are to each other in character, the safer and more confident they feel together. This is where the principle of complementarity comes into play.
6. Compatibility.
7. And, of course, the general cultural level, including common interests.

Signs of incompatibility in the relationship of spouses - do not miss the moment!

How to understand that you are incompatible?

The main signs of incompatibility of partners are the following:

• genetic incompatibility.
• Fight for financial resources. That is, quarrels that arise on the basis of which of the two earns and who spends. Material squabbles kill any positive beginning in a young family.
• intellectual incompatibility. For example, she, refined and intelligent, loves to read the classics, writes philosophical articles, goes to the theater and quotes Brodsky, but he does not understand how the Primer differs from War and Peace, picks his teeth with a fork, soulfully pours obscenities and considers work in garage is the ultimate dream.
• Sensual incompatibility. Each spouse periodically has a desire to escape at least for a while away from their partner. Also, sometimes both are visited by the thought - "we have become strangers to each other."
• Different mentalities. He was raised in a wealthy Muslim family, she was raised in a working-class atheist family. Everyone has their own views on life, principles and values. Everyone thinks their position is correct. Intransigence with each other's positions will sooner or later lead to a break.
• Inability to communicate. He withdraws into himself during conflicts. She is able to express dissatisfaction only with screams and tears. The inability to talk is the cause of the breakups of many couples.
• moral incompatibility. She is a believer, quiet, incapable of conflict, insult, swearing. He is the complete opposite.
• Household incompatibility.

Causes of psychological incompatibility of partners - so who is to blame?

The list of reasons for psychological incompatibility can be endless. And it is impossible to single out any one side as guilty, because no one can be guilty of incompatibility of characters.

Another question is if both spouses are quite capable of changing the situation through compromise and concessions, but both have no desire - in this case, there is simply no need to talk about any compatibility.

So, why spouses can be psychologically incompatible - the main factors:

• No spark. Physiology - 5 points, there are no material quarrels, one culture and religion, excellent relations with relatives on both sides, but ... there is no love (spark). Such relationships are most often doomed to parting.
• Nothing to talk about.
• Contrasting interests, opinions, tasks.
• Different personality types , "chasm" in the characters.
• Bad habits. In this case, we are talking not only about smoking and other bad habits, but about other chronic shortcomings (strong snoring, sloppiness, absent-mindedness, etc.).
• Immaturity - age, personal, social . One already at the age of 18 is able to take responsibility and make serious decisions on his own, while for the other at 40 only childhood ends.

It is worth noting that, oddly enough, the compatibility of natures and characters can also become a psychological mismatch. For example, two pronounced leaders in a family are always a roll of the family boat. As well as two phlegmatic people who “spit at the ceiling” for a couple and are waiting for changes.

In general, we can talk about psychological incompatibility with negative answers to the following questions:

1. Are you able to talk to your spouse “about nothing” (just chatting at dinner, on a walk, on the road)? Do you have something to talk about? Are you able to talk for 2-3 hours in a row without losing interest in each other?
2. Do you think that you have a strong mutual love?
3. Can you imagine both of you in your old age with grandchildren?
4. Are you calm about household bad habits each other (unwashed dishes, scattered things, etc.)?
5. Are your IQ test scores similar?
6. Do you have a good relationship with your partner's relatives (and he with yours)?

If there are more than 3 "No" answers - means in your family life it's time to change something.

Is it possible to achieve compatibility in love and marital relationships - what to do if the family boat lurched?

A marital relationship is inherently impossible without trust, mutual understanding and… compromises.

Sometimes people do not fit each other in terms of the size of the genitals. For example, if a man has an oversized penis and a woman has a narrow vagina. During sexual intercourse, discomfort and sometimes severe pain will be felt. Although some partners after long attempts find a position in which you can have fun.

Definition of temperament in sex

In total, there are three types of temperaments in sex: strong, medium, weak. People with the same kind of temperament are best suited to each other. If the differences are large, sexual discord may arise in the family - dissatisfaction, reproaches, betrayal. Symptoms of one kind or another appear already from adolescence.

Strong people they begin to mature early, become interested in sex and begin sexual activity earlier than other peers. In their lives, sex is in the first place, as a rule, they are self-confident extroverts.

But people with a weak temperament mature longer, begin sex life later than peers. But they are distinguished by fidelity, romance, often create strong families. They are quite satisfied with sex once a week, since they do not need more.

Most people belong precisely to the average type of temperament. Their preferences can range from sex once a week to almost daily carnal pleasures.

Determine sexual compatibility by blood type

Japanese scientists have determined that blood type affects people's attitudes towards sex.

People with the first blood type often think about sex and are active in bed.

Men with the second blood group are closed, they can have sex only with those for whom they experience strong emotions. And women are quite passive about sex, often becoming careerists.

Both sexes with the third blood group have little interest in sex. For them, he takes far from the first place in life, and they prefer to spend time on other hobbies.

And the owners of the fourth blood group are the best lovers. Women know how to have fun with any partner, have a high libido and quickly adapt to a new man. And young men with this blood type are considered womanizers, because they elevate sex to the category of art. They quickly gain experience and are popular among girls.

The neighboring groups are perfectly combined with each other: the first and second, third and fourth. If you are with a partner with the same blood type, you will have perfect compatibility.

But even in the case of sexual incompatibility, some couples remain together. If people love each other, you can adapt to your partner and look for compromises.

As you know, one of the main criteria for a happy life together is compatibility. At the same time, not only psychological compatibility is important, but also physiological. If there is not always agreement between partners on some issues related to the psychology of communication, then over time you can always find mutual language and come to a consensus.

If the partners are not physiologically compatible, then their life together is practically doomed.

To find out your physiological compatibility with your partner, we suggest you take this test by answering each of the questions "yes" or "no".

At the end of the test, there is a key that will help you calculate the score and determine your compatibility.

1. My wife and I have a different rhythm of wakefulness and sleep. One of us is an owl, the other is a pronounced lark.

2. If a spouse is angry at something, then it is not difficult for me to calm my anger with a couple of kind words.

3. My wife and I get along well.

4. It gets on my nerves that we do something at a different pace - one is faster, and the other is much slower.

5. Sometimes it annoys me that the spouse (wife) eats a lot (often).

6. Sometimes there are conflicts due to different eating habits. What one likes, another can't stand.

7. Sometimes it happens that when one of us is sad, the other is happy (and vice versa).

8. Often the spouse (husband) prevents me from getting enough sleep.

9. We have very similar temperaments.

10. intimate relationship usually have a positive effect on our relationships in general.

11. My wife (husband) suits me quite well in bed.

12. I know for sure that I suit my partner intimately.

13. The desire to have sex usually occurs with the same frequency.

14. I like to take a shower (wash in the bathroom), but my husband (wife) does not (or vice versa).

15. We resolve all emerging conflicts fairly quickly.

16. My husband (wife) always knows how to calm me down if I'm worried.

17. One of us can lose his temper in an argument, while the other always maintains it.

18. In general, we live in harmony.

19. It infuriates me when I do housework, and my husband (wife) is resting at this time.

20. I always forgive my wife (spouse), various breakdowns.

21. If one of us is upset about something, then the other one cannot be happy about something at that time, and vice versa - when one of us is having fun, then the second one is in a good mood.

22. The season, the weather outside the window, act on us in about the same way.

23. We are very similar, the same feelings, reactions.

24. My husband (wife) often makes different remarks to me: don’t shuffle on the floor, don’t drum with your fingers, let’s hurry up, etc.

Test key:

Give one point each if you agree with the statements given in paragraphs: 2, 3, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18,20,21, 22, 23.
Also give yourself one point each if you do not agree with the statements given in paragraphs: 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 14, 19, 24.
Add up your scores.

From 0 to 8 points.
Your level of physiological compatibility is very low. Often you annoy each other by the fact that one does this, and the other thinks that it should be done differently.

From 9 to 12 points.
In this case, everything is not so hopeless, but it is far from perfect compatibility. Try to be more attentive to each other if you want to save your relationship.

From 13 to 18 points.
Congratulations, you have found yourself a very suitable partner. You understand and feel each other well. Such compatibility may well become a good basis for a happy family life.

From 19 to 24 points.
Highly high level physiological compatibility. As they say - even launch into space - you understand each other literally at a glance, you feel almost the same. As they say: - "Advice and love"!

I have one friend, a young stately handsome man of oriental blood. Not a fan, not a lover, something in between. He came to me somehow and said: "I'm getting married!" I say: “Who is this? What's your name?", and other questions from the series "of course, we're only friends, but how dare you!" He began to draw a sugary picture of what a wonderful, clean, beautiful, ideal future wife he had. "How about in bed?" - I ask, squinting maliciously. “But we didn’t have a bed and we won’t have it before the wedding.” - “How will it not? But how do you know if it really suits you or not?!"

I was indignant for a long time, intimidating him: “Suddenly you undress her, and there is a man or shapeless hairy breasts; suddenly you go to bed with her, and she starts to snore; suddenly you are unlucky, and she turns out to be an untrainable frigid; suddenly she is lying and is actually more experienced than your ninety-year-old grandmother. He silently listened, and then says: “Sexual incompatibility was invented by men to drag the girl into bed before the wedding. I love my Angela, those who put sex at the head of relationships will burn themselves about this argument of ours.

God grant them great sexual happiness, of course. But I did not cease to be tormented by doubts about the correctness of my Eastern friend. Many couples can perfectly exist together, breathe the same air, read each other's thoughts, experience a great emotional outburst, mutual respect, tenderness and even get excited by each other until they are in the same bedroom. Only a minute ago you seemed to be a husband and wife, dear people, but now again! In you, on you, under you, a completely different person.

There are many reasons: different temperament (she needs it once every three years, he needs it once every three hours), someone can’t with the light, someone can’t without it, someone doesn’t want to take birth control, and someone doesn’t loves condoms, someone experiences pleasure only during anal sex, and someone cannot even think about it.

Even I, a person who is as loyal as possible and open to a variety of male oddities, broke up with a guy because of the barely perceptible special smell of his body. By the way, he was a hand-written handsome man, and besides, he was not stupid. After our first and last sex, he called me every day, and I even felt this smell with a shudder through the telephone receiver and politely refused, refused, refused. From him now no hearing or, thank God, the spirit.

And one of my acquaintances, in a fit of alcoholic revelations, told how her husband suited her in everything. Calm, imposing love, a lot of common acquaintances, bright joint stories, excellent living conditions. They traveled a lot, they were always interested in each other. Everyone, including the listeners of this story, considered their marriage an enviable example of absolute harmony and family well-being. But until she got drunk, we had no idea that this caring husband, PhD in Economics, a famous writer, an excellent pianist, an elegant man with an open face and a bright mind, believed that if a woman cums, then she is a whore. He did not make love to his wife, but severely punished with cold, exhausting sex, followed by alienation. Don't stop, you'll definitely feel like a whore. How compatible is that, right? This friend of mine, having swallowed a portion of whiskey in one gulp, looked at us with the bile look of a university lecturer and said: “Girls, you don’t understand. My husband is caring and kind to me. This is the best marriage of all my previous three. And if the entourage of my happiness requires it, I am ready not to finish.

According to American sexologists, one of the main reasons for the breakup of relationships is the physical incompatibility of partners. This type of incompatibility means, for example, the inconsistency of the genitals with each other: a large penis and a small vagina, or a small penis and a large vagina. You probably won’t believe that a physiological inconsistency will allow you to destroy a real relationship. Okay, let's pretend that you only have an orgasm when you stimulate your cervix. Your boyfriend has an impressive penis size, so you have no problems with orgasm and cannot be. One fine day, he turned out to be a rare bastard, you kicked him out and found another, but with more modest dimensions. Some millimeters / centimeters separate it to the required distances. They determine your right to orgasm. And this is where the question arises: what is woman's happiness? Are all difficulties surmountable, and if not all, where is the limit to our forgiveness, all-acceptance and all-embracing?

Well, here's another story for you. I work with a girl Sasha in the same office. She told me how she was madly in love with the boy Kolya at the institute. They met for exactly six months, went hiking, lived with his mother, looked happy, planned to get married. And then, bang, broke up! It turned out that after each sex, Kolya developed a suspicious rash in the groin area. This rash not only embarrassed him, but frightened him terribly. They trusted each other and together ran around a dozen doctors, took tests. As a result, it turned out that Kolya's body was incompatible with Sasha's microflora. Kolya did not like the condom. In the end, everything ended well for Kolya's groin. And Sasha is still afraid of a rash and loose relationships.

I was lucky, all the guys with whom I had to share part of my life and bed, one way or another suited me. But there was one such situation in my life. As always, I was very much in love. A tall brunette with an athletic figure, my "Keanu Reeves" met me unexpectedly and quickly won my heart. Handsome, smart, funny, cool guy. And he loved me! What else did I want from life? Without thinking twice, we came together, began to live together, create something “our own”. Only one thing - he often went on business trips. After meeting him for a little over a year, I realized that either I had to leave him urgently, or this relationship would turn me inside out, and I could never be myself again. And the thing was this: in his absence, I was so homesick - I could neither eat normally nor do business. I didn’t even want to bathe, I didn’t want to be beautiful. She didn't want anything, she just wanted him. But as soon as he appeared, I experienced depression, headaches, and suffocation on a physical level. He annoyed me, I hated him with all my heart, sex with him seemed to me sticky and quiet to the point of horror. Did I punish him for leaving me? Not sure. The rejection was physical. He pressed me with his energy, I turned into a little mouse, and he into a big owl, carrying a sense of danger and anxiety. What kind of sex is there ... But he left again, and I was ready to give everything, if only he would come and rip off my panties. This story is in the past. I don't think there was any love there.

Sexual incompatibility is a strange thing. It may not give you a reason to think about yourself, and then manifest itself over the years. For example, people live together for twenty years, it seems that sex was somewhere there, at the beginning of the relationship, and there was passion. But at some point there is an alienation of bodies. They say that this happens because every seven years male body completely renews its psychophysiological functions. This means that men change their outlook on many things. And in women, such changes occur more often. So it turns out that both of them, in fact, become completely strangers and live out of habit. And only a small percentage of couples maintain spiritual, physical, emotional, spiritual, all-encompassing intimacy. So do not rush to judge sexual compatibility ahead of time. No one is immune from the likelihood of a complete aversion in what would seem to be perfect couple. It's just that your man suddenly went to another level. Probably just very loving person able to understand this and catch up with him.

My yoga instructor found out that I was writing an article in ELLE on the topic of sexual incompatibility, and asked me to include her short story in the material. She and her husband separated three years ago. Dispersed painfully. The reason was that the yogi woman was very fond of all sorts of pranks in bed: handcuffs, suits, dildos and other things that, as she thought, would raise a dead horse on its hind legs. The husband reluctantly tried it, he did not like it. He began to get nervous. And she was bored without toys somehow. As a result, he began to suspect her of treason, hunt down and call names. She wanted complete trust and openness with him, but received endless accusations and domestic terrorism. She says that out of bed they had a complete idyll. Do you believe her? I'm not very...

How many more stories to tell about sexual incompatibility? I can have a few more, I can at least a hundred pieces. But, in my opinion, sexual incompatibility is a terrible myth, an excuse for outgoing love. When my friend's husband stopped having sex with her, she climbed the wall out of desperation. She talked to him, she talked to a psychologist, she tried new positions, put on new thongs, she cheated on him, she left him, she threw furniture, she calmed down and did nothing, then she threw furniture again. All her actions were directed at him alone. Love was important in this marriage, not sex at all. That's what this woman was fighting for. And her husband listened. At some point, this situation brought them even closer together. They are expecting a child.

I have very complex sexual habits. My young people do too. We are all so different, it is very difficult for all of us together. The more I meet young people, the more clearly I understand that sex is in my head, in the same place where love is, where all my experiences are. All these feelings come from one place and are closely interconnected. My Eastern friend was right after all. Now I will finish the article and go home. There is a man waiting for me, whom I love very much. And if one day in sex we become strangers, and in everyday life we ​​remain close people, I will rummage through my head. If we don't get together in bed and this becomes a stumbling block, I'll rummage through my head again. I will rummage there in search of love: did she stay? After all, as long as I love him, our puzzle will always fit together, no matter how difficult it is.

Photo: Andrew Soule