How to live stress-free. Healthy bullshit. How to learn to live without stress. How are we different from zebras?
Whether we like it or not, our lives are often filled with tension and stress. We try to deal with this and are looking for our own ways to relax, relieve stress and tension. Do you know the inner state of anxiety and worry "for no reason"? That is, in an empty place.
When everything seems to be going its own way, you are coping with all sorts of questions and problems, and feelings indicate that something is left unresolved? Is there anything else that needs to be done urgently? And for the hundredth time, you again sort through all your affairs in your head in search of a “weak spot”.
Feelings of emptiness and disappointment
I had a consultation with a man who had a built business, a wonderful family, and many travels and achievements of various levels behind him ...
But inside, with all this, he was completely devastated, as if everything had burned out, nothing pleased him in life: so many opportunities and no internal forces and desires to realize them! Half of my life was still ahead, but how to live if there is a "desert" inside ...
This state of disappointment and depression occurs when we disturb the balance of internal forces given to us by nature. We have been given enormous strength to realize our plans and dreams. But it is our responsibility to fill ourselves with energy from within, giving ourselves rest, time to recover after hard work.
It is important to sometimes move away from everything external, plunging into our inner space, where we can be alone with ourselves, free, relaxed and open to new fresh ideas.
No one has ever brought us up in this way: to be able to take care of ourselves, fill ourselves with new energy, get rid of stress ... We were brought up to be strong so that we could cope with any difficulties in life and pass any trials. "Life is a fight!" is a slogan that still governs many, many people.
Why is it so easy to identify a Russian person abroad...
How easy it is to identify a Russian person abroad by his tense face and behavior. My husband and I rested in Prague, and we were easily identified by those who needed it: the controllers in the metro, knowing that foreigners (Russians) often get lost in new conditions and confuse something with tickets and the route.
Our tickets on public transport were checked several times and once fined a decent amount, which we were very offended by! It is impossible to agree in Russian!
The ability to relax in Russian is already just a parable in the tongues! We sailed on the beautiful cruise ship, where there was a group of 25 Russians for 1800 passengers.
And five Russian businessmen for two wonderful weeks (and we visited 7 capitals of Europe), drank vodka every day and screamed into all the pools of the liner (there were 4 or 5) in turn. That's how they relieve stress. At the end of the trip they said: “Well, now you can do business again!”
Of course, everyone chooses their own ways of relaxing, but it's great if it still happens with respect for yourself and with respect for other people. We are learning this, and now all possibilities are open for this!!
The lack of respect, which was quite recent in our country, is now decreasing and melting before our eyes! A person always unmistakably chooses the right and best option for himself, if he begins to listen to himself at least a little and rely on his criterion “what do I like?”
Source of peace and joy
Whatever happens in your life, whatever dangerous situations you have not experienced what difficulties you have not met, your inner source of well-being and happiness is always open!! No one will ever stop it except you. It is open to everyone at any moment of his life!
It was said that even in concentration camps there were always people who shone with love and compassion, helped others and treated everything that happened around them with deep inner calmness.
They knew that their source of life and well-being is within them and this is unchanged! It was in him that they drew strength to live on, not just to live, but to take care of others - as much as it was possible then.
How to be filled with energy and calmness?
We can do this and live in a sense of deep inner well-being every day. Even sometimes turning off the path, returning there, simply realizing your desire for happiness, peace and joy. For example, by meditating every day for 15-20 minutes, we are filled with energy and peace for a long period.
Meditation is a way to live consciously: to see your problems and see ways to solve them, to see your values and follow them, to give yourself the opportunity to show respect for your inner Personality!! Take care of yourself and keep growing!
Someone makes this the meaning of their life - meditation. He teaches this to others and constantly improves himself in this. And for me, this is a way of caring and respecting myself and my life, an opportunity to be filled with inner energy and confidence. It's the same as exercising in the morning. Charging is taking care of the body, meditation is taking care of your mental state.
Both lead you to understanding yourself in life and to awareness. It is such simple things that can lead a person to such global issues, as the Purpose in life and the search for their place in the world.
It is such simple things that give a feeling of confidence that only you control your life. Get in the habit of making time for this! It is the formation of healthy habits that can easily and simply improve everyone's life in a matter of weeks!
Unnecessary tension and stress are already ready to leave your life if you want it! Change your old habits of "driving" yourself, exhausting and stressing yourself, not giving yourself the opportunity to rest and take a break.
Make new habits of taking care of yourself: your body and soul. Get to know yourself better: “What do you really want in life?” And just start doing it!
Irina Udilova
it becomes clear why a person's reaction to unexpected events, difficulties that arise are associated with the development of a wide variety of diseases - neurotic, cardiovascular, oncological, gastrointestinal, immunodeficiency, etc.
The disease appears, or rather, it manifests itself, as if “suddenly”.
A special state of the human body that occurs in response to a strong external stimulus is called " stress". This term is also used to refer to the stimulus itself - physical
(cold, heat, high or low atmospheric pressure, ionizing radiation), chemical
(toxic and irritating substances), biological
(increased muscular work, infection with microbes and viruses, trauma, burns), mental
(strong positive and negative emotions), as well as their combinations. Therefore, it is so important to understand stress as the cause of many diseases that come uninvited and before calling a doctor.
Stress- non-specific reaction of the body to the action of extreme factors, any difficult to resolve or threatening situation. When stressed, the body produces the hormone adrenaline, the main function of which is to make the body survive.
Stress is a normal part human life and is needed in certain quantities. If there were no stressful situations in our life, elements of competition, risk, the desire to work to the limit, life would be much more boring. Sometimes stress acts as a kind of challenge or motivation that is necessary to feel the fullness of emotions, even if it is about survival. If the totality of these calls and challenging tasks becomes very large, then the ability of a person to cope with these tasks is gradually lost.
In the life of every person there are moments when he experiences stress or anxiety (a state of mind and body associated with anxiety, tension and nervousness). In essence, the state of anxiety helps a person to cope with external dangers, forcing the brain to work intensively and bringing the body into a state of readiness for action.
When anxiety begins to overwhelm a person and affect his daily life, so-called anxiety disorders can occur. Anxiety disorders, including panic attacks, fear of losing a job, specific fears, post-traumatic stress disorder, and general state anxiety, usually begin to appear after the age of 15-20 years. Anxiety disorders are regarded as chronic diseases that can progress without treatment.
Causes of stress
- Arrange your apartment wisely(short paths). "Defuse" sources of danger.
- Dress comfortably. Choose clothes that will create an optimal microclimate for your body.
Hans Selye, creator of the theory of stress, said: “Stress is life.” So do you have to fight it?
As long as we are alive, we will rejoice and grieve. Of course, you need to be able to relax, soften the tension. However, if it completely disappears, then life will end.
→ Life without stress
“The emotional state of a person affects the physical well-being of the body, causing illness, or vice versa – curing it. Desires, anger and fears influence our lives so strongly that they literally determine the physical plane of the existence of a person.
A study published in the journal Circulation shows that emotional stress leads to long-term endothelial dysfunction. (Endothelium is a layer of cells lining the inner surfaces of blood and lymphatic vessels, heart cavities). And this leads to ischemia, cardiac arrhythmias and increased blood clots. But that's not all! Acute emotional stress leads to an increase in blood pressure and heart rate.
It has been established that the influence of one outburst of anger affects the endothelium for 72 hours! It's just one outburst of anger! For comparison: after smoking one cigarette, endothelial dysfunction lasts about 40 minutes.
But everyone around is talking about the fact that smoking is harmful, and no one is talking about the fact that it is extremely dangerous to get angry, swear and get angry! We somehow agreed that stress is an inevitable attribute of our daily life. So we live in a state of constant, so-called stress, because we get angry, swear and get angry, unfortunately, not once every three days, but much more often.
The more cases of anger, the more heart attacks. The more anxiety, the more often heart attacks, because our astral body instantly transfers the emotions that have arisen in it to the physical level. Today, more than 90% of diseases are associated with stress and are psychosomatic in nature.
From the book Tikhoplav V.Yu., Tikhoplav T.S.
ADVICE OF THE PSYCHOTHERAPIST
Ten tips from Dr. Girish Patel, a famous Indian teacher and psychotherapist, author of many training courses and trainings. Dr. Patel, Secretary of the Brahma Kumaris Medical Wing of the World Spiritual University (Mount Abu, India), lives and works in Bombay and lectures in many countries around the world. In May 2010, Dr. Patel held a meeting and training with medical students of the Novgorod state university them. Yaroslav the Wise.
Dr. Patel says: “The 17th century is sometimes described as the age of faith. The 18th century was considered the age of reason; at that time the emphasis was on logic and rationalism. The 19th century can be characterized as the century of industrial and scientific and technological progress. What has become distinctive feature XX century? Someone will probably call Information Technology. But I would say that the 20th century is the age of stress. Now even small children say: "I'm stressed." And what will become typical in this century? Increasingly, there is an assertion that the 21st century may become a century of panic. Projections say that by 2020, depression will become the second most common disease after cardiovascular disease. That is why it is extremely important to understand some simple laws that will help you effectively cope with stressful situations and significantly improve the quality of life.
TIP ONE
The cornerstone of stress management: a problematic situation is not yet stressful. The situation is lifeless; we breathe life into it by our attitude towards it. Not long ago, I spoke with a well-known Indian doctor who is now successfully working in the United States. He said a characteristic thing: “I became a good doctor because my parents were poor. If they were rich, I would not be interested in studying, but in completely different things. The moral is: it's not what you have or what happens to you that matters. What matters is what you do with it.
The situation can be perceived negatively, as a threat, but it can also be perceived positively, as a challenge or an opportunity. Let's say you have an exam. Or you will be working with a difficult patient. Think like this: “For me, this is an opportunity to fulfill my potential, to show my strengths, to learn new things.” Some visual reminder symbol will be a good practical help. It can be a drawing, a quatrain, a short and capacious motto. Let them be in front of your eyes as often as possible - on the wall in your room, under the glass of your desktop.
TIP TWO
We tend to complain about your difficulties. We complain a lot and do little. We believe that very little is under our control. If you want to effectively cope with stress and develop even in the most difficult circumstances, learn to see those things that are still in your power. For me, a very clear example of this is Professor Stephen Hawking*, a theoretical physicist at the University of Cambridge.
For many years he has been suffering from an illness that has left his entire body paralyzed. And yet he continues to work on what is in his power. Fortunately, his brain is not affected by the disease, and his fingers move on right hand. And he, practically immobilized, is actively working, exploring black holes and other mysteries of the Universe, without leaving his office. Today he is world famous. What is the reason for his success? He did not complain about illness or fate. He asked himself the question: “What is in my hands now?” - and maximized the opportunities he had. So, even in the most difficult situations, do not lose heart, but ask yourself the same question: “What is in my hands now?”.
* A small digression, in no way detracting from Dr. Patel's excellent advice.
“The pitiful remnant of a once cheerful person, chained to an electric wheelchair, unable to pronounce the simplest word and therefore forced to communicate with people through a computer and a speech synthesizer, is Hawking. Brilliant mind and world-renowned researcher, who strictly adheres to the working regime, lectures around the world and maintains an extensive correspondence, loving husband and millionaire - this is also Hawking.
More than thirty years ago, Hawking, then about 27 years old, was diagnosed with: multiple sclerosis(the same illness that N. Ostrovsky had). According to doctors, he had two or three years to live, no more. However, he showed a colossal will to live in the physical world, did not want to get rid of his sick, dilapidated physical body and turn into "Professor Dowell's head" or go to Subtle World where we will never be late. In 1979, after graduating summa cum laude from Oxford University, Hawking took over as Lucasian professor of mathematics at Cambridge, the position first held by the great Sir Newton in 1663.
“My greatest achievement is that I am still alive,” began Hawking, the laureate Nobel Prize, who is rightfully considered a modern genius, one of his last lectures on the origin of the universe. It took place in one of the Chicago theaters and gathered several thousand listeners.
Where does this person get the amazing strength to resist all the misfortunes that have been tormenting his physical body for several decades? It turns out that a person comes to the aid of his third incarnation - "Extra-I", his Spirit!
They say: “A healthy mind in a healthy body!”. But Hawking has a healthy Spirit in a sick and helpless physical body. But this body ensures his stay on Earth. And a person is not defeated until his “Spirit is broken”, until he himself admits his defeat.
It is worth noting that Stephen Hawking is an "ardent" supporter of the creation of "man-machine systems", the design of more advanced individuals based on genetic engineering, transplantology, and the enhancement of their physical and intellectual abilities by implanting microchips. Apparently it would be easier for him if people physically represented something like himself.
The well-known Soviet geneticist V. Efroimson warned that over 1.5 million years of human evolution, all “excess” had already been removed. He wrote: “It is naive to think that someone with a pipette, a screwdriver and a microchip will replace some block in a living organism, pull something out, and insert something, and, by radically changing the situation, will solve the problems of our time.”
* Tikhoplav V.Yu., Tikhoplav T.S.
TIP THREE
If today you do not find a place for yourself because of the upcoming exam in ten days, if you suffer from insomnia today, it is easy to understand that this will negatively affect the quality of preparation and assessment. As a rule, we live either in the past or in the future. So, for example, we feel guilty about our past mistakes or worry about the future. But yesterday, just like tomorrow, is not in our power. Focus on the present. Treat it like a gift. Be grateful for the present moment - because in the present you have no stress.
TIP FOUR
Our system of views and beliefs is important. All of you are doctors or future doctors. If you consider that you have acquired a noble profession, that you have got the opportunity to help people, and not just make money, work will be a joy to you. If you perceive your work solely as a means of earning money, you may have problems, because sometimes doctors have to work hard, day and night, at any time of the day. At the same time, financial rewards are not always adequate. If you are convinced that the blessings of your patients are your most important asset, you will never be disappointed or stressed.
TIP FIVE
Stress management requires you to be able to work with your thoughts and emotions. It is very useful in this regard to maintain a table of four columns. In the first column, give the difficult situations that you had to face during the day. In the second, describe how you felt in those situations, such as being upset or angry or nervous or tired. In the third column, write down the thought that caused these unpleasant emotions in you. And in the fourth - the thought that, from your point of view, would be correct in this situation. Already at the very moment when you record it, you will feel that something is changing. And decide for yourself: “In the future, faced with a similar situation, I will think this way.” Only six to eight weeks of such work on yourself will give amazing results.
TIP SIX
We have some goals in life, and some problems that hinder the achievement of these goals. Perhaps your goal is to graduate with honors and become the most the best doctor in Veliky Novgorod. But there are also problems, for example, a difficult curriculum, lack of time, family situation or something else. If you focus on problems, then problems press on the goal, as a result of which the goal “shrinks”, and the problems, on the contrary, increase. The opposite should happen: with determination, focus on the goal. Say to yourself: “I will fulfill my dream at all costs!”. If you focus on the goal with determination, a miracle will happen: you will find that your goal begins to ... squeeze out problems.
The simplest and clearest example: on the eve of the exam, you are so absorbed in your goal (successfully pass it) that problems in the form of laziness, the desire to sleep, computer games etc., retreat; not a trace remains of them, although only a month ago they seemed insurmountable. Treat any life goals with the seriousness with which you treat the exam on the day before it.
TIP SEVEN
Remember: when one door closes for you, another one is sure to open somewhere. You need to stand and look at the locked door. Find the one that opened at the same time, and you will discover new horizons for yourself. Does closing the door hurt? Maybe. But when we dispassionately evaluate our past, we see that if we have learned something valuable in our lives, then - in the vast majority of cases - we have learned through pain. None of us learned anything from enjoyment. Let's say someone criticizes you and you get upset. Change your approach, tell yourself: "I will learn from this criticism." Thousands and millions of people in the world turn to psychologists and psychotherapists because they want to identify their weaknesses. The therapist will ask them hundreds of questions, and then say: "You have such and such a weakness, you need to get rid of it in such and such a way." And very often for this one phrase of a specialist you have to lay out a tidy sum. But after all, your critics do exactly the same thing for you: they conscientiously reveal your weaknesses, your shortcomings. And they don't charge any fees for their services! Be thankful for them - and develop.
TIP EIGHT
Our words are very important, the language in which we formulate our thoughts. Compare two phrases. First: "I failed four times." Second: "I'm a loser." Same? Not at all! Even if you have failed four times, you are not yet a failure. The fifth time you can succeed. But when you think, "I'm a loser," that's really the end.
TIP NINE
Stock up on patience. No wonder they say: if God hesitates, this does not mean that He refuses you.
TIP TEN
Try to find time every day to be alone with yourself. When you are in silence, you get the opportunity to dive deep into yourself, and yet your real resources are right there, your real power is there. You have something imperishable, eternal inside you, whether we call this "something" life energy, soul, consciousness or in any other way. And one more thing: in silence we hear God. Why is it so important? If we just learned to cope with stress, this is, of course, good, but this is not enough. After all, this only means that we have come from a stressful state to a neutral state. But we want not just a neutral, but a positive state!
What is the purpose of the healthcare system? This goal is to ensure that people not only do not get sick, but are healthy. And the absence of disease is not health. And in the same way, the absence of stress is not life. Life is joy, it is love, it is pleasure. And in order to feel the fullness of life, it is absolutely necessary for us to move away from ordinary, everyday consciousness from time to time. As it is natural for water to be cool, so it is natural for the soul to be in a state of peace, love, and mercy. Feeling your real “I” in silence, you immediately touch these wonderful qualities of the soul. And then they will help you all day long.
You ask me whether it is necessary to turn to God in this case. In principle, sometimes it is enough independent work over yourself or, for example, communicating with a person who understands you. But if you believe in God, this is an additional plus for you. When we are young, we tend to think that everything is in our hands, under our control. As we gain life experience, we increasingly understand the limits of our capabilities. One surgeon said: "I just bandage the wounds, and God heals." Many modern doctors, very professional and experienced, put such words on their business cards. I don't think it's a coincidence.
All doctors recommend avoiding stress. Like, this will help not to get sick with hypertension and stomach ulcers, not to get fat beyond measure and not to earn a heart attack. And this is a well-founded advice, which, however, is impossible to implement. Because wherever you go, stress awaits everywhere: at a parent meeting at school (your child is not a genius), at work (deadlines, inadequate clients, bosses sick in the head) and even in the store where you went for bread (the bread turned out to be callous, and even some grandmother was rude).
What is stress for?
Life without stress is impossible. Moreover, stress is a great driving force that makes us develop. Thanks to it, new neural connections are formed in the brain, valuable experience is formed, and a person adapts to new conditions. Therefore, an idiot who cut you off on the road, or a perfectionist boss, should be taken as part of a brain-developing environment and treated with a reasonable degree of complacency. And a new job that promises professional and financial growth, although it makes you worry, should be taken as a gift from heaven. This is a “good” stress that makes the brain work hard, but does not carry the risk of burnout, failure of all body systems. Its result is the emergence of new skills, increasing self-confidence, expanding adaptive capabilities.
Another thing is when stress unsettles. A loan that takes away more than half of income. Death of a loved one. A serious illness that requires a review of the usual way of life and imposes a lot of restrictions. Such events cause the body to go into "emergency mode". There is no question of adaptation here - to survive. The body starts a chain of reactions that are not useful in the long run, but help to survive here and now. Increases the level of the hormone cortisol in the blood. Appetite changes: either increases, cravings for sweet and fatty foods appear; or almost disappears, and the piece does not climb into the throat. growing arterial pressure. The mood is changing. Anxiety appears. It is either present all the time or comes in waves of panic. May escalate chronic diseases and new ones will appear.
It is important to understand that the division of stress into “good” and “bad” is arbitrary. For example, the birth of a child is clearly a positive event that should provide a unique experience. However, when high level anxiety, parenthood can turn into hell for an eternity. And “good” stress becomes “bad”.
Many of us are forced to exist in a state of great stress. And you can't change the situation, you can only change yourself. The good news is that healthy people with stable self-esteem, low levels of anxiety and an active lifestyle are more likely to survive prolonged stress without significant damage to the body and mind.
It is quite possible to achieve, if not complete zen, then at least a state of relative calm. Here are some simple steps to help you stay healthy in a situation of prolonged severe stress.
Predictability
In a state of stress, anxiety takes a significant part of the mental resource. Therefore, doing the usual things is becoming increasingly difficult. The whole problem is getting out of bed in the morning. Brushing your teeth is a titanic effort. Getting dressed and going to work is a feat. The most difficult thing in this state is decision making. Therefore, it is worth making your life simple and predictable. It helps to follow the daily routine.
It must be compiled wisely, ignoring the hysterical advice of the mournful healthy lifestyle nicknames. To do this, you need to remember what time you have to wake up in order to plan an approximate time for going to bed. Breakfast, lunch, dinner - at about the same time, but without violence against yourself. It is important to allocate a certain time for work, physical activity and of course - for your favorite pastime. That is, the daily routine should not turn into a prison routine, where there are only obligations to the family and society. Time for yourself should be as sacred as project deadlines at work. Even if it is only 15 minutes for daily cross-stitching or watching a funny cartoon.
Meditation
The hardest thing in meditation is to believe that there is nothing difficult in it, and just start. Any quiet place where you will not be distracted for at least 5-10 minutes is suitable for this activity. You can meditate sitting or lying down. To do this, relax all the muscles that are not needed to maintain a comfortable posture, and try to stop thinking about anything, but just follow your breath. At first, it helps to repeat “inhale” and “exhale” to yourself, fixing your own respiratory cycle. Extraneous thoughts will still come. You just need to track them, let go and return to focusing on the breath.
For some, walking meditation can help. For example, in the morning, on the way to work, you can try to stop the flow of thoughts and listen to your own silence of the mind. At the same time, it helps to focus on the rhythm of steps and the sensations that cool air brings, birdsong, car noise, various smells. The main thing is not to allow yourself to be distracted by extraneous thoughts, but to switch to the “here and now” mode.
Just a few minutes of meditation a day helps keep the psyche in a resource state. Modern research show that even a short daily "silence of the mind" helps to establish new neural connections in the areas of the brain that are responsible for making volitional decisions, building plans, emotional reactions, memory and attention.
Full sleep
Sleeping at least 8 hours a day is another important component for the normal state of the body and mind. In a state of stress, sleep is often disturbed: disturbing thoughts and negative emotions interfere. In this situation, you can and should fight for quality sleep by all available means: airing, completely darkening the room, the habit of going to bed at the same time, and giving up gadgets 2-3 hours before bedtime.
If that doesn't work, you can try herbal sleeping pills and melatonin-based medications. It is not recommended to resort to sleeping pills of the benzodiazepine group (diazepam, alprazolam, clonazepam) - they disrupt the structure of sleep and, although they increase the duration, they make it unproductive. In any case, it is worth consulting with a specialist about medications to normalize sleep. In some cases, a cup of mint tea before bed helps. In other situations, a long course of antidepressants may be needed.
"Doing Nothing"
Anxiety in a stressful situation makes you constantly do something. And even though these actions are meaningless and unproductive, it seems that a person maintains an active life position and does not allow stress to prevail. But it's not. Imitation of Brownian motion does not bring relief and increases the destructive effect of stress.
However, it is important to separate the really necessary things from the fuss. This skill will help you allocate time for an important therapeutic technique for stress - doing nothing. It is especially useful for those who have not been able to master meditation. Walk from work to home, half an hour in the kitchen with a cup of tea and interesting book or just lying on the couch helps to slow down and establish a dialogue with yourself, better understand your own emotions and needs in the current moment.
Medication support
A common mistake is to treat your body in a state of stress as an unloved horse, which is not a pity to drive. On this wave, liters of coffee are usually poured into oneself, and if it doesn’t help, the search for drugs with a psychostimulating effect begins. The belief that you can “hack” your own brain with nootropics without consequences, disperse it like a tired cattle, so that it can work for the good of the whole organism, is actually a dangerous delusion.
Abuse of nootropics in a state of stress can lead to sleep disturbance, increased anxiety, tremors in the hands, decreased concentration, mood instability, and tearfulness.
A stressful situation should be taken as an occasion to treat yourself even more carefully than usual. Drowsiness, decreased attention and memory for current events are a sign that “internal fuses” have worked and it’s time to rest, and not at all a signal “time to drink coffee and eat 200 g of sugar in the form of a chocolate bar from a machine”
The main problem in stressful situation is a feeling of anxiety. To produce this emotion and neutralize its consequences, the body spends an unacceptable amount of energy. Therefore, medical support for stress should be aimed at reducing anxiety. To this end, the doctor may prescribe “daytime” tranquilizers that do not cause drowsiness, reduce attention span and do not affect mental activity in any way, as well as antidepressants with anti-anxiety effects or other drugs.
Prolonged stress is a test of endurance. Therefore, to overcome it, you will need to think strategically. Chronic stress can be compared to running a long distance. A one-time effort here will not play a special role, but the ability to rationally manage one's own strength will help to win.
How to learn to maneuver between the pitfalls of circumstances?
How to learn to live without stress? Calmness and serenity is a great art, and as a result, a lot of work that requires the application of mental strength. But it is better to learn to enjoy life than to sink deeper and deeper into the abyss of suffering every day.Sometimes we meet energetic and prosperous ladies who claim to have got rid of stress. Their days are filled with relaxation sessions, beauty treatments, easy shopping, etc. But the high spirits of women who spend time in such pleasant chores cannot be compared with the state of those who have many worries.
How in this case not to feel like a driven horse? Many would be happy to plunge into the paradise of doing nothing, but what about work, children, study?However, some were able to rise above the hustle and bustle over the little things. And they rarely brag about it - they just live and survive, although they do not look perfect, and sometimes general cleaning would not interfere with their home.But it is they who manage to maintain Olympic calmness in the most difficult situations. What is the secret? In all cases, essentially the same strategies are used to help not plunge into the abyss of stress. Often, balance is not an innate character trait, but the result of work on oneself. You can learn this too.
Secret 1
CONVINCING THAT THE SITUATION IS UNDER CONTROL
How to learn to live without stress? No one is immune from sudden events that entail changes in the usual way of life. But, by and large, only we are responsible for our own schedule. Other people and external circumstances in most cases do not decide anything. A sense of control over what is happening is what is needed for peace of mind.
Do you feel like someone else is in control of your life? Then you are guaranteed stress. Of course, if you have authoritarian parents, a stubborn friend of the heart, or an unbalanced boss, it's hard to consider yourself the blacksmith of your own happiness. Try to avoid being the victim. Learn to find time for yourself every day. You can't change other people, but planning your own day is real.
Secret 2
OPTIMISM…
Everyone knows the joke that the same glass of water can be half empty for a pessimist and half full for an optimist. The choice of a calm and happy woman is obvious: a positive outlook on things. It is given to someone by nature, and someone has to form it. The situation develops in our favor if we do everything that we consider necessary. So why do we let fear of potential failure take precedence over hope for the best? And the fear of failure breeds stress.
Secret 3
… AND SIMULTANEOUSLY REALISM
It is very useful to repeat that everything will be fine. But muttering this while closing your eyes and heading straight for the sewer is, at the very least, unreasonable. Alas, blind optimism is not a panacea. Sometimes it is better to accept the circumstances and patiently wait out an unfavorable situation.
This does not mean at all that those who are avoided by stress do not want and do not know how to dream. Nothing like this! They do it "professionally": they develop plans of action and can laugh at the naivety of their own delusions. It is also true that these people, having taken up the implementation of plan A, always keep in mind a backup plan B.
Secret 4
ABILITY TO SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE
If you want to get rid of stress - do not worry about the little things. The problem, from which there will be no trace in a couple of months, is simply not worth your nerves. We must learn to prioritize, including emotional ones. Always try to evaluate the upcoming day in the morning and choose the most important things to do. Whenever something gets in your way, ask yourself, "Am I making good use of my time?". Answered "No" - postpone until better times the solution of the problem, having previously estimated its scale. For example, if a friend calls you in the middle of work, politely tell her that it's better to talk at a more convenient time. But if something very important happened to a friend - a real misfortune or, conversely, a joyful event - then the conversation can turn out to be really very significant.
Secret 5
DO NOT PROMISE ANYTHING EXTRA
We often create our own stress. One of the common mistakes is telling people what they want to hear and not what is within your capacity. So much can be promised that it is simply impossible to fulfill all this.
You can't keep up with your volume and the stress doubles because you're letting people down. The solution is simple - learn to promise less than you can deliver. You will see, your friends will be delighted if you, albeit late, arrive at the party - after all, they said that you would not have time at all. Your boss will be pleased if you finish the report a day earlier instead of a week later.
Secret 6
CONTACT WITH PEOPLE
hundreds psychological research it is said that as a result of communication, subject to the friendly attitude of the parties, the heart rate stabilizes and blood pressure decreases, and people become calmer. Therefore, maintain good relations with others. And at the same time, do not always be just a vest into which everyone is crying - look for support yourself when you feel bad.
Men in crisis situations have their own strategy of behavior: they "hide in a shell" and "crawl out" from there only to strike and argue. A woman can afford the luxury of seeking sympathy and understanding. Let you be known as the person who will be the first to bring oranges to a sick comrade - but you will not be left alone in trouble.
Secret 7
HEALTH PROMOTION
Stress caused by any diseases can be quite strong and at the same time acts on the sly. Do not underestimate the small problems in the work of your body, promising yourself to take care of them as soon as the "hard times" are over. It is likely that the state of health does not allow you to get out of the clutches of stress.
The rules for dealing with depression include support and nourishment nervous system. Selenium, as well as antioxidants and B vitamins, make a good addition to any vitamin complex, especially if you are having a stressful period. But they certainly won't replace the two main components of a healthy, stress-free life - sleep and proper nutrition.
Secret 8
SAVE YOUR ENERGY
Be sure to protect the energy from external intrusions. We are surrounded by energy "black holes": those who are always annoyed and dissatisfied with life find no better thing to do than try to drag you into their mournful world. You know these people well. Stay away from energy vampires, but if collisions cannot be avoided, then try to isolate yourself from them negative impact. If you even mentally erect a protection of white radiance around you, you will lose less strength. And maybe even charge your unfortunate "vampire" with your positive energy.
Secret 9
FLEXIBILITY
If you want to achieve results, change everything - even your own behavior.
Flexibility is an important trait for coping with stress. For example, if you can’t out-argue your colleague, although you are sure that you are right, try listening to his arguments for a change. First, they certainly have common sense, secondly, following the train of thought of the opponent, you will understand where he made a mistake, and it will be easier for you to direct his reasoning in the right direction. And thirdly, when you listen, they try to listen to you.
Secret 10
LOOK FAR AHEAD!
Whatever happens, don't take anything personally and don't look for your own fault. Instead of self-flagellation, try to learn from the difficult situation you are in. Don't give up and ask yourself: "Why is this happening now? What can I learn? What can I do to turn everything to my advantage?" Perhaps in the near future you will not find
answers to these questions. But the fact that your thoughts are positive provides you with a stress-free future.
POWER OVER STRESS
Success-oriented people rarely allow themselves to get annoyed or stressed out over minor issues. Rather, they will do everything possible to inspire confidence in others: everything is under control, even natural disasters! Only those who are not fully aware of what they want are experiencing endless stress. Stress can be beneficial if it activates our abilities.
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