Should I be offended? Bad advice: how to be offended in a relationship? What can be done in this situation so as not to be offended
When I stopped being offended, they stopped offending me. Say it doesn't happen. How can you not be offended when you hurt a “live”? If you understand the origins of the origin of resentment, then, I believe, there will be no need to be offended.
So, what is it that sits in us that does not allow us to forgive? To forgive means not to leave a sediment in your soul, to continue to freely communicate with a person. Or, if you like, do not communicate at all, but at the same time do not remember him with a good word, that is, treat him neutrally.
- Wounded self-love
They didn’t appreciate it the way we wanted it, or simply blamed it undeservedly. But we know that they are not so bad. So we torment ourselves with thoughts and curses against the offender. We “bite” our soul, assuring ourselves that we are right. Is it worth proving the obvious to yourself? I think everyone will agree that this is a useless exercise. Everyone already knows his own worth. Well, to the one who condemned you, you can simply say: “I’m sorry that you think so of me,” “I’m sorry that we didn’t understand each other.” And even more so, do not underestimate your self-esteem.
- Pride
Try, discarding the feeling of your own superiority, to take the side of your partner. Remember: the strength of a person is not in pride, but in his generosity. The offender, as a rule, himself realizes that he got excited.
- Inability to accept facts about oneself
For example, they say to you: “You are late for work. You made a mistake. Are you in a bad mood. You eat a lot. You are fat." You get angry, not wanting to accept the real. Learn to answer yes. The same “yes” applies to any reproaches in your direction. Do you think it will be interesting for the interlocutor to “sting” you and how long will it last when you agree with everything?
- unmet expectations
Often we expect from a person certain actions, deeds, words that are completely not inherent in him due to his characteristic traits of character, tact, upbringing, education ..., offended by the failure to fulfill what we have thought up. Try to look at everything objectively, not imagining what is not there.
- Misperception
The same situation affects different people differently. The point is not at all who said and did what, but how we reacted, how we perceived the information. Calm perception without irritation is just a matter of everyday "training". And, in fact, we ourselves decide to be offended. As they often say: "Be offended by yourself ...". In difficult situations, repeat to yourself: "I love myself and will not offend."
And when once again you want to be offended, think: is it really so nice to feel sorry for yourself and feel like a victim. The predator always feels the weak and attacks him. You don't want to be eaten! Maybe you are still a winner who has risen above the situation and is independent of circumstances! It is not for nothing that people say: "They carry water for the offended." You don't really want to, do you?
As you know, resentment is a state of our soul. The soul is the well from which we drink. What source of thirst quenching do we present to ourselves and others? Protect your storehouse, your source of life. Live with a smile, not offended!
Source: http://www.cluber.com.ua/lifestyle/mnenie/2018/03/pochemu-ne-stoit-obizhatsya/
Every person, from early childhood, is faced with a sense of resentment. For some people, resentment passes quickly, while others hold a grudge against their offender all their lives. Someone easily copes with any life situations and does not even pretend that he has experienced a feeling of resentment, while someone pouts at everyone, limits communication with people who have offended, is angry at himself, at his life, at the whole world around him .What is resentment?
Resentment is a bitter feeling that destroys, excites the soul, does not allow you to calm down, makes you constantly scroll through the mind of the situation that led to resentment, and offensive words sound in us and destroy life. Bitterness from resentment gnaws from the inside and does not allow to be freed from suffering.
Resentment causes irritation, anger, aggression, hostility and even hatred towards the person who insulted, humiliated, offended you. There is a desire to avenge the offense. And even when you feel that the offender is right, you still stubbornly continue to insist that you are right, trying to deceive everyone and even yourself.
Resentment arises when a person himself believes that he was treated wrongly, unfairly, caused him physical or mental pain, upset him, insulted him, laughed at him, denied him any request.
Moreover, he will experience a stronger sense of resentment from those people who are dear to him, close, than from random passers-by. After all, if a random passer-by called you, you will be indignant, but you will soon forget about this incident. And if this word flew out of the mouth of your friend or husband, then you will pout your lips for a long time, you will throw angry, annihilating glances at him, and you will not want to talk to him, punishing him for the offense, making him feel guilty, demanding apology and repentance from him .
But in fact, you are punishing yourself, because your mood has deteriorated from resentment, and digesting this situation again and again, your soul is in pain, you deny yourself communication with your loved one, you waste your energy on resentment, get irritated and nervous, worsening your health.
If you are constantly offended, for every reason, then resentment accumulates, there is a desire to take revenge on the offender, push him away from you, not see him or hear him. And even if your offender repents, asks you for forgiveness, and you continue to pretend to be a victim, stubbornly not wanting to talk or making scandals, then sooner or later you yourself will destroy your relationship with your grievances.
And if you understand that only you yourself are the author of the offense, that you yourself were offended, and the person you were offended by is not to blame, then it will be much easier for you to cope with the pain.
Why is resentment dangerous?
Let's draw conclusions, why is resentment dangerous? Firstly, it causes negative emotions and quarrels, leads to a break in relationships, to loneliness. After all, being offended, you push the offender away from you, not wanting to talk to him, and in response he will also hold a grudge against you.
Secondly, resentment worsens your mood, you are depressed, despondent, which in turn can lead to insomnia, depression and other serious diseases.
Why do people get offended
“After all, it’s very nice to be offended sometimes, isn’t it? And after all, a person knows that no one offended him, but that he himself invented an offense and lied for beauty, exaggerated himself in order to create a picture, attached himself to the word and made a mountain out of a pea - he himself knows this, but still the very first offended, offended to the point of pleasantness, to a feeling of greater pleasure, and thereby comes to true enmity ... " Dostoevsky F.M. The Brothers Karamazov.
Often a person is offended in order to change his attitude towards himself, so that his relatives, friends, parents around him will take pity, caress, treat him with love and tenderness.
The same offense appears in people when their expectations, hopes are not justified, the life that they created in their dreams does not coincide with reality. And close people do not do the things that are expected of them. And then a person is offended by everyone and the whole unjust world.
When people believe that they deserve more and that someone should give them more, there is a feeling of resentment against their parents, husband, wife, children, boss, government.
But every person is the master of his life, and he himself is responsible for the events that occur in his life, as well as for the insults that he created for himself, invented.
How to stop being offended
“Just as warm clothing protects against cold, so exposure protects against resentment. Multiply patience and peace of mind, and resentment, no matter how bitter, will not touch you.. Leonardo da Vinci
Resentment corrodes us from the inside, exhausts, depresses, and this harmful feeling must be got rid of. If you have a desire to get rid of resentment forever, you must learn one of the rules - Nobody in this world owes you anything.
You were waiting for your loved one to come to you with a large bouquet of roses, and instead of roses, he brought a large box of chocolates. Your expectations were not met, and you were offended, your mood deteriorated, you do not want to talk to him. But if you understand and remember that no one owes you anything, then it will be much easier for you to accept such a situation, and over time you will learn not to be offended over trifles. After all, you could tell your friend in advance that you want him to give you roses, and then your expectations would be fully justified, and there would be no reason for resentment.
Rule two - Everyone has their own opinion, which may differ from yours.
You thought that of the entire department you were the most advanced in your work, you grasped everything on the fly, and only you should be appointed the head of the department, because you work the longest and are competent in all matters. But the post of the head of the department went to your friend, who, in your opinion, neither knows how to lead, but also how to talk plainly. And you harbored a grudge against all your colleagues, the director, your friend.
You think he took your place, betrayed you. And resentment has overwhelmed you and does not give you rest, and thoughts of revenge are swarming in your head. In your opinion, your friend is not worthy of this post, and, according to the director, it is your friend who is able to lead the department. This is another of the rules that you need to learn and understand that you should not be offended if your opinion does not coincide with the opinion of the people around you.
It is also necessary to understand and assimilate that each person decides with whom and where to spend his free time.
Your best friend, with whom you were - do not spill water since kindergarten, went out of town for the weekend with her classmates. You just seethe with indignation: “How could she betray our friendship? She offended me, I will never forgive her."
But your girlfriend is not your property, and she has every right to decide with whom she is friends and with whom to spend her time, so it is pointless to be offended in such situations.
How to stop being offended when you are deliberately humiliated, called offensive words, teased, laughed at. If you react violently to these attacks, then they will systematically mock you in order to bring you to tears, to prove to everyone that you are a weak person. How to deal with resentment in such a situation?
Remember - a normal person will never tease and humiliate other people. So before you is a sick person, with a bad temper, but simply - a psycho. And, as everyone knows, there is such a rule - don't be offended by a fool . Learn to ignore the bad words addressed to you, to let them past your ears.
Is it worth it to be offended by criticism addressed to the truth that people say about you? After the parent-teacher meeting, your mother scolded you for bad grades, complained to you that you absolutely do not help around the house, that in your room, like in a pigsty, you can only stupidly sit and play at the computer. You were very offended, angry with your mother and ran away from home. If such situations arise in your life, consider whether the criticism against you is true or far-fetched by your offender, and whether it is worth responding to it with resentment. If you really got lazy, dropped out of school, and were scolded for bad behavior, then there is no point in being offended by the truth because it's all your own fault.
Try to figure out for yourself why it’s so easy to offend you, maybe the habit of being offended comes from childhood, and then it’s time to grow up, or maybe resentment is one of your bad habits that you urgently need to get rid of so as not to poison yourself and people’s lives surrounding you. After all, resentment leads to misunderstanding, discord, to loneliness. Understand that being offended and carrying the pain of resentment in yourself, you, first of all, harm yourself, your health.
Why you need to forgive
“People of petty minds are sensitive to petty offenses; people of great intelligence notice everything and are not offended by anything. François de La Rochefoucauld
If the bitterness of resentment corrodes your soul, reeks of pain in your heart and all thoughts are fixated on resentment, then it's time to get rid of this resentment. The best cure for pain is forgiveness.
Having forgiven the offense, it becomes easy on the soul, and you are freed from the severity of the experiences that you carried in yourself. Having forgiven your offender, you again renew your relationship with the person you were sulky at, and without whom you felt bad.
Of course, there are situations when the offense hurt you very much, when it ruined your life, you lost something significant and you never want to see the offender, but you still need to forgive. Forgive him mentally in your soul, and you will find peace. Understand that there is nothing to return back, and it is pointless to continue to suffer and regret the past. You have to live in the present. To forget the insult, you need to forbid yourself to remember it, and throw it out of your head once and for all. This is a bad past, and everything bad needs to be disposed of. And if you yourself often offend people, and then suffer from feelings of guilt - just ask for forgiveness, even if you consider yourself right. You just need to say two simple words - “forgive me”, and there will be peace and tranquility in your heart.
Love yourself and the people around you, do not offend anyone and do not be offended yourself. Work on yourself, learn to understand yourself, in situations that led to a feeling of resentment. Try to find the reason and realize the futility of resentment. Forgive your offender and ask him for forgiveness, because he, too, may think that you offended him, wish him health, happiness and love. And the world around you will become kinder and brighter.
30Soul Binding 07.10.2017
Dear readers, today in our section we are talking about how to stop being offended. I think you will agree that sometimes we do this too often, and even more often we do not even notice that we are offended. But if we understand that resentment lives in us, then it's time to figure out why we are offended, what it threatens us with and how to get rid of our resentment. Heading Elena Khutornaya, writer, blogger, author of intuitive maps, and I give Lena the floor.
Greetings, dear readers of Irina's blog. All our grievances, in fact, happen because of our deceived expectations. Or we ourselves, for some reason, decide that it should be this way and not otherwise. Or someone promises us something, and we expect him to fulfill his promise. And then, when this does not happen, we are offended.
We decide that we should be loved this way and not otherwise, that close and strangers should act in accordance with our ideas, it seems to us that according to some once and for all established laws, life should develop.
Why do we decide this way? We are brought up in a certain way, instilled with certain attitudes, our experience contributes to the formation of certain views. This is neither good nor bad. This is natural. But the next step is to realize that life at any moment can refute all our expectations precisely because we demand from it that it correspond to our ideas about it.
Resentment is always our choice, no one else's. No matter how other people act, no matter how the circumstances develop, it depends only on us whether we accept this experience or start blaming the people around us for acting inappropriately. It is up to us whether we can see what this situation teaches us, or whether we fixate on its denial and rejection.
Resentment is always a sign that it is time to expand the boundaries, change views, attitudes towards people and towards life. And this should be done not for some abstract spiritual growth, but for quite practical reasons.
What are the dangers of resentment
It often seems to us that by insults we take revenge on our offenders. Here, they say, look how offended I am, and it's your fault, you're bad.
If the offender feels guilty, then both of you are involved in the game. And then the offender really receives his share of destructive emotions, but not because of our resentment towards him, but because of his guilt. And it is also his own choice - to take this blame. Roles in this game can change - sometimes we are offended, then they are offended at us, or they can be assigned to the participants.
But it often happens differently - we are offended by someone, but the offender is indifferent. For example, we blame the president for all the troubles, but he doesn't even know about it. And even if he knew, he would not attach any importance to it.
So in all cases, insults are directed only against us and cannot affect our offenders in any way, unless they themselves want to harm themselves.
At the same time, resentment - as, indeed, guilt - is very destructive for us. They corrode us from the inside, fill us with the poison with which we poison ourselves, deprive us of energy. This leads to even more problems, and then to diseases.
Why you need to forgive
Often we do not forgive because, as mentioned above, we believe that by our offense we harm our offender. Like, if we forgive, then he will get away with everything. Or because it seems to us that by our unforgiveness we are defending some moral principles. And then to forgive means for us to devalue these principles.
But then again - our forgiveness, like our offenses, has nothing to do with our offender. Because resentment is always a game only for ourselves, regardless of whether there are other participants in it or not. And moral principles cannot suffer from our forgiveness in any way, because by forgiving we do not devalue them, but only cleanse ourselves of the condemnation and censure of those who do not share them in some way.
It is not worth taking on a punishing function - it is not in our power and it is not our task to punish someone. To think this way is to show pride, which is another destructive feeling. While in life everything is always rewarded simply because people always receive from the world what they give it. So whether we forgive a person or not, this will in no way affect the implementation of the law of attraction in relation to him.
Our forgiveness means only one thing - that we ourselves will be cleansed internally and will give the world more warmth and love. And we will also receive warmth and love in return.
How to get rid of resentment
To stop being offended, first of all, we need to accept the idea that neither people nor life are obliged to meet our expectations. And if expectations are not met in some way, it is not because someone cruelly deceived us, but because we did not know something about ourselves and about people.
If something happens, it means that we need it for some reason - at least to learn to forgive. When we take this responsibility upon ourselves, we get the power to control our attitude to what is happening, to choose whether we are offended or not, to be happy or unhappy.
We must remember that it is by forgiveness that we make the world a better place, and not by our attempts to punish our offenders. Offended, we fill the world with our indignation and discontent. By forgiving, we give him acceptance and love. And we ourselves always get out of life what we put into it.
And what will be our choice?
Forgiving is not easy, especially when we have been carrying and accumulating grievances for many years. But having done it once, we understand what a sense of relief it gives, how much brighter life becomes. Resentment is an endless path of suffering. Forgiveness is always a new opportunity to make your life happier. And you can learn to get rid of resentment in the same way as everything else - through gratitude, acceptance and taking responsibility for your life.
Warmly
Khutornaya Elena
I thank Lena for all her thoughts on the topic of resentment, and how to stop being offended. It is necessary to get rid of these emotions absolutely, such an unpleasant state. And after all, the less insults, the world around us is brighter and kinder. So is it worth harming yourself and your loved ones, while maintaining such a state of mind? I think we have all answered this question for ourselves.
You may also be interested in other related articles:
And for the soul will sound Stamatis Spanoudakis-Tamalo . Wonderful waltz from the Greek composer.
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Constant resentment negatively affects a person’s health, his well-being. After all, our health directly depends on the state of the soul. It is necessary not only to get rid of the feeling of resentment, but also to stop being offended again.
Causes of resentment and how to stop being offended by people
Of course, sometimes it is difficult not to be offended by a person who has done something “bad” towards us. But in any case, taking offense at a person, we are wrong. I'll explain why. Resentment arises when a person did not do what we expected from him, or did not do what we expected. Have you noticed that in both cases we expect something from him? But here is the main idea that needs to be learned in order to stop being offended by people - no one owes us anything, this person is not obliged to do as we want, he has his own thoughts and motives for actions, and they must be respected. You must respect the other person's right to make decisions, you must respect his right to his opinion about you, and you should not be angry and offended by him if his opinion does not coincide with your expectations. Example: a wife is offended by her husband because he gave her not what she wanted for her birthday. But he doesn't have to give her exactly what she wants. We must be grateful for any gift, and not be offended.
Are you often offended? Look for the reason within yourself
Maybe you have noticed such a thing in yourself that when you are unhappy, you are in a bad mood, then everyone treats you badly - the seller in the store was rude, they stepped on their feet on the bus, the authorities scolded them at work, and you are offended by them because they do this to you, it would seem unfair, because you didn’t do anything specifically to them. But in fact, the people around you just like mirrors reflect your attitude towards yourself, it is you who scold yourself, and on a mental, intuitive level, those around you also scold you, are also dissatisfied with you.
For example, if a girl considers herself ugly, then those around her will intuitively feel, and express their thoughts to her about her appearance, hint to her that she needs to change her wardrobe, hair color, go to a beautician.
If we love and accept ourselves as we are, do not scold ourselves for mistakes, for weaknesses, then the people around us will treat us friendly, because we will radiate joy, and people subconsciously feel it.
So, if someone did something bad to you, offended you with something, then you don’t need to be offended, we ourselves provoked such a person’s behavior with our negative thoughts, because thoughts always materialize, sometimes through other people. We need to understand how we provoked his behavior towards us, change the root cause in ourselves, forgive the “offender” and thank him for a valuable life lesson. And your resentment will immediately be replaced by positive emotions.
How to let go of old grudges
To get rid of old grudges, we must forgive the person. To do this, you can mentally imagine as if this person appeared before you, tell him sincerely, “I forgive and bless you. Be happy. I release you, go in peace.” You can come up with your own words of forgiveness that are closer to you, but you need to forgive and let go of the person. Then your heart will be cleansed of resentment and anger.
How did you provoke a person to offend you?
When you forgive all your offenders, your heart will become much easier. And now, when someone treats you badly, when you again want to be offended by a person, think about how you created such a situation? Maybe you thought badly about someone or about yourself, you are dissatisfied with something in yourself, and correct this discontent in yourself - accept and love yourself along with all the features of your body and character that seem to you to be shortcomings.
Such an example, one man was constantly underestimated at work, paid a salary less than other colleagues, although he sometimes performed duties even more than others, and was no worse. But the authorities did not seem to appreciate him, and all his colleagues considered themselves smarter than him. And the problem was that this man himself doubted his professionalism, underestimated himself, considered himself worse than others, although in fact he was better in many ways. So his attitude towards himself was reflected in the people around him, they also treated him the same way as he considered himself. But, as soon as he changed his mind, began to value himself and his time more, those around him began to treat him differently, began to consult on important issues, take into account his opinion, his salary was raised. He began to respect himself more, began to dress "from the needle", presentably, and his business immediately went uphill. Everything changed in his life the moment he changed his attitude towards himself.
Resentment is the cause of many diseases, including cancer
Resentment “devours” us from the inside, it takes away all our strength, kills our health. I think it’s no secret to anyone that our health directly depends on our psychological state. As soon as some negative emotions arise in your soul, it immediately affects your health. And the more serious and prolonged this negative, the more serious the health problems.
And if you are offended by someone, then it is only worse for you. The person you are offended by may not care about your offense, and he may not even feel guilty. It is especially dangerous to bear a grudge in yourself for years, this can lead to serious diseases, such as cancer. After all, what is cancer - cancer is when the body itself, as it were, eats itself from the inside - constant depression, constant resentment towards oneself and others. Indeed, in essence, resentment is bitterness directed inward, it harms only the one who carries it in himself.
Therefore, you must definitely get rid of resentment, you must forgive people, no matter what they do to you.
There are times when someone specifically tries to piss us off, offend us. In this case, the best technique is ignoring and laughter, a positive attitude. A person thus tries to control your emotions, your mood. The Indian sage Osho put it very well on this topic - so, someone pressed the button, we pouted with pride, pressed another - we were blown away and upset. Is it nice to be in control? Sometimes only this fact is able to excite and cause a firm conviction - "I myself want to be the master of my fate and my emotions and I am not going to succumb to provocations from outside."
Resentment against oneself
Sometimes people feel resentment towards themselves. For example, they are offended because they could not say the right words to someone in time, that they made a mistake, that they were afraid, and many more reasons. In this case, you need to realize that this is already in the past, being offended by yourself you will not fix anything, it has already passed. You need to live for today, try to change and not make such mistakes in the future, try to fix it if it is still possible, and most importantly, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything, even with your shortcomings, you need to love yourself as if these are not shortcomings, but your virtues, features, zest. After all, there are no people without flaws. Only by loving yourself completely, only by accepting yourself as you are, can you become a happy person!
Resentment - an emotion that carries a negative connotation and turns your life and the lives of others into a real hell. The state of resentment may not leave for quite a long time, the recurring thoughts about a particular event that caused pain are to blame. Resentment manifests itself due to quarrels, jealousy, envy, or indifference, and feelings after resentment are pain, hatred, a desire to take revenge. I would like to note that you always have a choice, no one forces you to be offended, you can simply not do it, thereby bypassing a lousy mood and saving your nerves. This character trait is undeniably negative and you can and should get rid of it. Moreover, it is not so difficult, for this it is worth a little work on yourself.
Think about whether you are the creator of your mood or whether you are a puppet controlled by everyone, but not you. Why should your mood depend on someone else? You can always stop being a doll brought up by society, for this you only need awareness of this whole situation and desire. We, as the highest stage of life, as well as single-celled beings, are capable of responding to stimuli, but we differ primarily in that we can make a choice. One thing should be singled out for yourself: resentment is only your own choice. Resentment is a stereotype nurtured for decades and successfully flourishes in all spheres of society. Decide your own destiny and become the captain of your ship, cleanse your soul of everything unnecessary and get ready to accept joy and happiness.
1. Remember one simple truth - no one owes you anything. No one considers it their right to act towards you as you wish or consider it right. Understanding this is very simple, because you do not always strive to meet the expectations of others? Your life belongs to you and only you are able to make the right choice, and no matter what others say, because they also do not owe anything to anyone.
2. Pay attention to the positive qualities of your abuser. Surely, he brought a lot of good and positive emotions into your life. An annoying act, on which your inner energy is concentrated, overshadows all the good in the interlocutor. The good is often taken for granted, but the bad is just as often exaggerated and placed first on the list of emotional qualities. Treat kindness as a pleasant gift in order to rejoice and absorb positive emotions again and again.
3. No matter how sad it may sound, no one in this life is eternal. Only such sad situations can make it clear how petty and stupid the grievances were. You will never be able to forgive yourself insults to close relatives, remembering the boundless and exceptionally sincere care that they bestowed on you. Perhaps much in their actions seemed wrong, but all this is from pure love for you. Live now and do not waste this priceless fleeting time on resentment.
4. Make it a habit to take responsibility for what happens to you. Nothing can be done in vain. Analyze each potentially offensive situation, this will help you to understand people a little better and understand their true qualities. There were such situations when your best friend or girlfriend ignored the agreement and did not come to the meeting without answering the phone calls. Anything could happen: he could get into trouble, the circumstances were not in his favor, or you are simply indifferent to him. Not a single case makes sense to be offended, and the last one will even help to draw conclusions about such a "friend". Get experience instead of being offended. You should not spend time in thoughtless emotional outbursts, make sure that every situation is in your favor.
5. Never give in to provocations. When your interlocutor deliberately tries to offend you, then succumbing to provocation, you thereby agree that they simply put a collar on you, like a dog, and control you and your emotions as they want. Protect yourself from such people, they definitely will not bring anything good into your life. As they say, fools are not offended.
6. Stay aware. Here and now you are aware of your own Self and have complete control over the situation, now you are probably hard to offend. Maintain such composure at all times and do not give power to emotions. Watching yourself from the outside, you are unlikely to allow yourself to be drawn into this unpleasant game, like an insult.
7. Resentment can destroy your health. As soon as the touchy state sets in, muscle spasm occurs, more in the upper body. Internal organs suffer from this, blood circulation is disturbed. Possible exacerbation of chronic diseases. Therefore, do not ruin your health for the sake of someone, because with your resentment you will bring the offender, perhaps joy, but it is extremely difficult to restore your own health.
8. With numerous insults, you attract negativity to you. An offended mood surrounds you and does not allow you to live in peace, attracting trouble one after another. Remember, you are the creator of your mood and life. Why surround yourself with negativity when you can see a lot of good things in life.
Imagine that each of your potential offenders gives you a choice of 2 cakes: one is sweet and tasty, the other is spoiled and ugly. Think about it, is it necessary to take the spoiled one, if you have the choice to take the tasty one?
How to stop being offended? - video
