What a real man should never do. Qualities of a real man What a man should never do article
A lot of articles are written on the net about what should and should not be done. a real man. In bookstores, entire shelves are devoted to such sections as "Psychology of Relationships", "Female Psychology", "Man and Woman". You can look for an ideal husband for a very, very long time, or you can not find it at all, because each person has his own shortcomings. However, there are several things and actions that no self-respecting man and his soul mate will do.
A real man won't abuse you
Few men are worthy of respect if they abuse their loved ones. This applies not only to physical violence, but also psychological. This rule applies not only to the wife or girl, but also completely to the environment of the man. If a man treats you well, but at the same time mocks animals, suppresses relatives - this should alert you, make you think about the future with this person.
It is better to recognize the essence of a man at once. Psychological violence, like physical violence, speaks of a person’s desire to suppress another, break his character, will, deprive him of his opinion. Think about whether you are ready to endure violence on his part in the future? You definitely deserve the best, so you should stop such "unhealthy" relationships.
A real man will not avoid serious conversations with you.
Many wives wonder why a man always walks away from serious conversations. Some justify their life partner by referring to an attempt to avoid a quarrel. But it's not. A real man knows that a serious problem cannot be solved without a sincere conversation and debriefing. Therefore, he does not avoid important dialogues with his soulmate, preferring to deal with difficulties as they arise, and not accumulate negativity in himself.
A real man will never disrespect you.
A real good man will never show disrespect, both to you and to other people. A full-fledged and harmonious person will not humiliate and mock other people, call them names, denigrate them in the eyes of other people.
Consider if a man's love suggests a good relationship only with you, and in conversations there is often a discussion of other people in a negative way. It is likely that in another situation you may be the subject of discussion.
A real man doesn't change
This is one of the most important and strict rules. Despite all sorts of scientific studies that monogamy is not natural for a person, this is the choice of each person. Entering into a relationship, both you and the man give each other promises not to deceive each other. Relations with another woman during a relationship with you directly speak of lies and disrespect.
Not a single situation of betrayal is worthy of understanding and acceptance. A one-time hobby leads to a regular series of betrayals. Some wives tolerate this attitude, torment themselves while waiting for their husband at home after another spree ... but is this life? In case of betrayal, you need to turn around and leave, despite other circumstances.
You won't be lonely with a good man
Almost instantly, a loving man can be identified by the mood and condition of his soulmate. If your man is constantly depressed, passive in relationships, does not seek to develop them and do something for you, you should think about the logic of such relationships and your joint future.
You should not, of course, immediately break off relations at the first loss of strength and depression. We all have the right to be sad and in a bad mood, but this should not be the rule in your relationship.
Relationships are developed by two, efforts to build them should also be made by two. Good man seeks to do something for you, even if it is not expensive gifts and round-the-clock attention. If only you “rule” in a relationship, think about whether you are ready to stand at the helm alone for the rest of your life.
You won't be in the background with a real man
If your man, after a long relationship, devotes less and less time to you, disappears more often with friends or prefers other activities to your society, it is worth considering. Do you want a relationship where you wait more than spend time together?
Good loving man tries to spend more time with his soulmate. No, this does not mean that he should not have his own friends, personal hobbies, interests. He will simply strive to combine you and his interests, inviting you to joint meetings with his friends, concerts, exhibitions and other events that are of interest to him.
A real man accepts your worth
The man himself, if he is really a worthy person, does not need to prove that you are of value. You are valuable to him in themselves, without any deeds, actions, material support.
If you are regularly forced to prove something to your soulmate, think about whether such a relationship should be continued, because little will change in the future.
Your self-confidence will stay with you forever
No man who respects himself and you will undermine your self-confidence. A real man will always support loved ones, help everyone he can do and never stoop to insults, humiliation and meanness.
A real man will not violate your personal space
This applies only to those cases where you do not give rise to suspicion and concern, and if you have not previously betrayed his trust. Even after one petty deceit, faith in a person becomes weaker, and the more serious the offense, the more difficult it is to trust a person in the future.
In a healthy relationship, there is nothing to hide from each other. SMS correspondence, contacts in in social networks, phone calls and messages e-mail- all this should not have any reason for suspicion. Only the person who has something to hide will hide all this. But this does not mean at all that your partner should read all your correspondence at any time, as he wants. In a healthy relationship, partners simply do not have such a need.
If your loved one constantly monitors your SMS and calls, reads your correspondence, then he does not feel self-confident, constantly suspects you of betrayal (perhaps there was a betrayal or serious deceit in a past relationship). Also, such a reaction may mean projecting their tendency to cheat on you. It is worth considering if there is mistrust and constant control in your relationship.
A good man will never let you criticize your appearance.
A real man will never belittle you with his conversations that you would be better off if you were slimmer or grew your hair ... A real man likes your appearance the way it is and he would not change anything in you.
If your significant other constantly says that you need to change something in yourself, leave him immediately. Such people try to assert themselves at the expense of you, to belittle your self-confidence.
You don't have to put up with the things listed above. Every person is worthy of love, understanding and sympathy. If you are uncomfortable with your significant other in certain moments and you don’t feel in your place with him - then why do you need to continue this relationship at all?
A REAL MAN FOR A WOMAN
A. Griber
women love different men. But every woman dreams of her knight, who will come to her on a white horse. And even if a man does not have armor and a horse, he must still be a real man.
What is he - a real man?
1. A real man is distinguished by his kindness to a woman. He does not thrill her nerves with his pride, strength of character and male logic.
2. A real man calls a woman first. Especially after a fight. And then he comes back to her, takes her in his arms and kisses her gently.
3. A real man does not offend a woman, does not yell at her, does not insult her, does not kill her with words. Because it is unbearably painful for a woman to hear evil words from her most beloved and dear man. A real man does not leave scars on a woman's heart, from which cynicism and indifference then grow.
4. A real man is passionately, violently and violently jealous of a woman. But he never tells her that it's her fault. A real man does not reproach or blame a woman. For a real man, a woman remains a saint. With his jealousy, a real man shows a woman that he loves her, appreciates her and is afraid of losing her.
5. A real man tells a woman that she is everything to him, that with her he is like in paradise. A real man says it like he'll never get a chance to tell her everything again.
6. A real man does not spare promises and is not afraid to deceive a woman.
7. A real man just lives relationships, and does not build them, just loves, suffers and burns.
8. A real man says what he thinks right now, right this minute.
9. A real man compliments a woman.
10. A real man is attentive to a woman. He gives her gifts and surprises.
11. A real man enjoys every little thing from a woman. Because in these little things lies the love of a woman for a man, her concern for him, her attention to him. Because in every gift from a woman, a real man feels her soul in love with him.
12. A real man fights for a woman, protects her. Because she is his queen. And even if a woman is wrong, a real man will never, by word or deed, show this to anyone around.
13. A real man endures all the tantrums of a woman, realizing that she is full of hormones that rebel. A real man comes up to a woman, hugs her and tells her about his love.
14. A real man forgives a woman.
15. A real man tells a woman everything as it is. But he is not silent and does not allow a woman to spend sleepless nights thinking about his silence, action or inaction. A real man saves a woman from these bitter and unhappy minutes, hours, days.
16. A real man should be able to admit he was wrong.
17. A real man loves a woman, spoils her, carries her in his arms, calls her queen, fights for her, fights for her.
18. A real man is kind and generous to a woman. He shocks her with beautiful, sweeping gestures.
19. A real man understands a woman.
24.07.2018 09:53:32
I have collected for you 12 female commandments that hold your relationship with a man like cement. A woman who observes them will never be afraid that a man can leave her.
1. Love yourself
When you love and take care of yourself, you can give full love to your man.
When you don’t like yourself - you overeat, you don’t make face masks for yourself, you don’t go in for sports, you don’t follow the daily routine, you don’t plan salads for your stomach’s bliss, you don’t read books for your mind’s bliss - you and a man will do little of anything useful and valuable. "Love your neighbor as yourself..."
2. Become self-sufficient
I always say "A man is NOT the navel of your land!" The world of a self-sufficient woman is much wider and more multifaceted. You need to love yourself more than your loved one. Anyone! Even the very best. No need to wait for Him to decorate your world - this oppresses a man, since he will never be able to fully fulfill your hopes, and over time this may push him to leave you.
A woman whose world is beautiful and multifaceted is always attractive. Go dancing, learn languages, read books, buy yourself best dress- love and appreciate yourself - and you will be valuable in his eyes!
3. Know how to influence him
If a woman is able to leave a man (theoretically!) - he will know that he can lose her. And therefore, he will never "catch a star", and will not go too far in relations with her. It is enough for a woman to simply say: "Don't ever do that again!"- and he won't do it.
If she can’t get away from him - then at least yell, at least squeal, at least fight - he will not take her words seriously. This is the usual psychology of influence. And it works 100%
4. Be important to him
If he knows that you can leave, he will KNOW that he can lose you. And for this you need to be able to be independent of a man - neither financially nor emotionally. If he knows that other men like you, if he knows that your world has not converged on him like a wedge, he will always remember that he can lose you. And it will make a man be in good shape. And this is a positive potential for your relationship. After all, when you know that you can lose your business, qualifications, work - you act, you grow professionally, you try to INVEST in what you are afraid of losing. And for relationships, it is also "alpha" and "omega" - to be IMPORTANT for your partner.
5. Play gender games
A woman is wise and self-sufficient! But she loves gender games with her man - they are important in a relationship, because then a man really sees what you need!
"Open that lid on the jar for me. I can't, and you're so strong!"
"Help me carry the bag - you're so manly!"
"Bring, nail, take, bring, help!"
"I am a small and weak girl! And you are my strong and courageous man! I need you! What would I do without you!"
6. Keep the family hearth
No matter how trite it may sound, but a woman is the keeper of the family hearth. And a man needs a strong rear, and he loves the hearth, where they always feed deliciously :).
And even if you don’t cook meat in Chinese style in sweet and sour sauce, then you can always learn how to fry cutlets or, for example, cook homemade pizza on puff pastry (by the way, you get a great pizza :)). I hate ironing men's shirts, but I always humbly take out the iron and iron it. For my husband, my concern is important, and I constantly remind myself of this :)
7. Ask for gifts
A woman knows how to ask for gifts. And then he claps his hands and rejoices. It brings men and women together. This encourages Him to achieve more in life.
But(!) there is another trick here:
Such a woman necessarily draws the attention of her husband that his success in life is connected with her - sensitive, reverent, attentive and wise. And he knows and appreciates it. And yes, these women do not leave.
8. Don't infringe on his personality
An adult man will never give a woman all the money he earns. This makes only a mattress, without personal opinion and adequate self-esteem.
And an adult woman will never encroach on the personality of a man. Will not climb into his phone, fumble in his pockets, get questions: "Where have you been?" She knows how to organize her life in such a way (see points above) that a man will appreciate the relationship with her, and be afraid of losing her.
Therefore, "an adult woman" and "stupid childish jealousy" are mutually exclusive things.
Girls, remember! They leave those who are afraid of losing a man (these ladies often provoke a man to leave with their fear). Therefore, a wise woman organizes her life in such a way as not to be afraid of this. And the man will never leave her.
9. Be different
If a woman is monotonous, she quickly gets bored. Therefore, a wise woman knows a lot of roles of a wife: lover, mother of his children, friend, comrade-in-arms...
Men have a hard time enduring spiritual loneliness. It is vital for them to share their plans, dreams, fears, longing. Even joint longing brings them together much more than the absence of intimate conversations ... But many women do not know how to build a dialogue and listen carefully to a man. And well-built communication is the cement that securely fastens your relationship. Girls, to help you
10. Be sexy
Many men would move this commandment to the very beginning :)
Sex with such a woman is breathtaking and magnificent. YES, she reads articles and books on sexology. YES, she knows where her clitoris is and why only the head of a man's penis is sensitive. YES, she knows what "family sexual boredom" is. And YES, she knows how to deal with it. She does not have stupid complexes and restrictions, and if necessary, she will agree on everything with her husband (and she knows HOW to do this).
I talked more about this topic in the article From such wives, men do not go to mistresses!
11. DON'T SHOUT!
A woman from whom a man will never leave - observes the "culture of non-Oraniya". She just doesn't scream. He knows how to competently get away from a conflict situation, calmly gets out of scandals, does not manipulate sex (this is a low grade). She does not take out her bad mood on close people, she knows a lot of ways to get rid of stress without quarreling with anyone.
And any woman can learn this, even a 12-year-old girl! help you.
12. Face your diamond of femininity - for true diamonds are not scattered!
She is growing as a person. Daily and diligently granites a diamond of its beauty, intelligence and femininity. He instills new habits, learns a lot of new and useful things, strives to look good. She spends money on herself with love, works on her image, and therefore on always looking spectacular in the eyes of her beloved man!
Have you already mastered all these commandments? What else do you continue to work on and improve?
Tell in the comments.
Well, if you want to work out all these points in detail, raise your self-esteem and improve the quality of your life - come to us for the course "DAO: The Way of a Woman" + "DAO Intensive", where you, with me and our psychologist, will be able to solve your personal problems and reach a new level of relations with a man!
And by the way, AFTER August 8, the cost of the course and participation in the DAO Intensive will increase significantly.
20 comments
24.07.2018 11:27:43
Oksana! I read the article and understand, it’s not in vain that I have been reading your books for a long time, it’s not for nothing that I entered the course. I fulfill all the commandments, but there are kickbacks. Now I am going through an intensive course and every day I draw in the evening my fatigue, dissatisfaction, even if I feel that my mood is good, I still sit down and do art therapy to clear myself of the stress of the day. I understood how to work with kickbacks, you need to draw them in the bud, not wait until everything gets bad. The diary of success began to act on me in tandem with art therapy, before that I led it and felt resistance, constantly quitting.
While the 11th commandment is hard for me, I try not to yell with a creak, and if I yell, I start talking with my husband about why we were yelling and how to behave in order to avoid this. My husband knows that I am engaged in self-development and supports me in this.
And I also realized that without love for yourself, nowhere, the most important commandments, I think, are the first two. And thanks to the intensive, I feel how my love for myself has increased.
Thank you so much for the inspiration article!
25.07.2018 03:26:38
Maria, well done!
Keep working, and your quantity of work will definitely grow into quality, and the results will grow!
Part of the scream. Possibly chronic fatigue. Request the "Power of Thought" method in the mail, and you will stop screaming altogether. Our cadets have over 80% performance on it.
24.07.2018 14:20:08
Oksana, this color really suits you! Beauty and very wise article
24.07.2018 16:27:20
I have mastered the practice of these commandments by 70 percent. Sometimes there are digressions. It helps me a lot that my man, thanks to his calm nature, helps me in every possible way to adhere to these (for us, unspoken) rules.
Oksana once wrote the truth that why dream of brutal alpha males :) For life, a man is ideal who knows how to compromise, appreciate and love a woman, family, mutual care. With such a pleasure to implement anything (from useful :))
24.07.2018 16:40:04
Eh ... once I violated all these commandments, the result is a divorce. Now for me it's like a Code, put in a conspicuous place, so as not to forget. Thanks Oksana!
And yes, this dress makes your complexion look so fresh and youthful.
25.07.2018 03:32:49
Julia, in fact, the right red or pink color will make any woman have a beautiful complexion. Because it is intense and gives glare to the face itself, as if tinting it, I realized this even when I was studying art. Therefore, I most often wear red or pink, and I advise everyone :-)
If you pick it up perfectly - you look younger by 5-10 years, without plastic surgery :-)
Even if your beloved has a hole instead of a wallet, he was kicked out of work, and he supposedly cannot find a new one, remember: you can always find a job, and if a man dreams not only of self-fulfillment, but also of feeding his family, you can, in the end , and work as a loader before gaining world fame. The trouble is that if you get into the habit of giving your beloved large sums, sooner or later it will end in tragedy - you will have to find first a second, then a third job, and, believe me, this will no longer cause love in your life.
Give expensive gifts
Remember O'Henry's story "The Gift of the Magi" where main character sold her hair to buy her husband a watch chain, and the husband, in turn, sold the same watch, wanting to give his wife a set of combs? Of course, no one forces you to cut your hair, but gifts should still be of equal value. It makes no sense to present your lover with a python skin briefcase or, better yet, buy a car if he will give you another food processor. Firstly, an attempt to win a man with money will most likely not lead to success, unless of course he is a real man - on the contrary, you can only push him away with expensive gifts, especially if he cannot afford such a luxury. Secondly, if you come across an unscrupulous representative of the stronger sex, love can turn into use.
regret
For a long time, an ironic text about crying men was walking around the Internet. Like, if your man is crying, pat him on the shoulder, and if he continues to shed tears after that, buy a diaper for your chosen one. Oddly enough, in reality, these tips really work. Not on that scale, of course. The problem is that, unlike our half of humanity, a man does not feel love for pity for him. That is, to put it simply, he will complain about life to you, as well as wind snot on his fist, whine, moan - in front of you, and walk and, which is typical, play a wedding - with others. Our problem is that we always imagine that complaints are a sign of a deep relationship, because you, unhappy and lonely, are pulling him out of the abyss of despair. Remember the infamous Little Mermaid - she saved the Prince, but he married someone else!
Say the phrase "I told you"
Even if you are a hundred times right. Even if you are right a million times, and you warned him, warned him and said the right thing, but he dared to disobey you. There is nothing more provocative than your phrase "I told you." Firstly, you turned out to be smarter than him, and secondly, you pointed it out to him. Very tactless! Be sure that now your loved one will surely be offended, moreover, he will most likely remind you of his unfortunate mistake in the near future.
Give up personal life and career
A housewife hung like a Christmas tree - balls, towels, baby sliders and all sorts of everyday problems - this is certainly good, but, unfortunately, the more we devote our lives to our men, children and household chores, the faster our beloved loses interest in us . Sooner or later, he will want, firstly, to be alone, and secondly, to look at beautiful woman. And be sure, in most cases, if you are not able to throw off your frayed dressing gown and apron without hesitation, he will find another object of admiration for himself. By the way, this does not mean at all that your faithful will rush headlong to look for a mistress. No, he will just admire someone else ... another.
The same applies to your personal time, intimate space. If you got married, this does not mean at all that you need to abandon friends, work and other things that are pleasant for you. On the contrary, the more varied and complete your life outside the family is, the more your soul mate will be drawn to you. Again, do not forget - in everything you need to know the measure.
Change appearance
Yes, of course, we women passionately love to change. If today we liked being a brunette, it is quite possible that tomorrow we will decide to dye our hair blonde, red, and even add a few blue or pink strands, all this is within the normal range. If your lover insists on a radical change of image, it’s time to think about it. Cut or grow hair to please a man? Just because he wanted to? It’s not worth it, especially if you are one of those lucky women who not only manage to earn money and cook breakfasts and dinners, but also take care of themselves. In the end, if your chosen one prefers thin "unisex" girls, and you look much more like a Kustodiev young lady, why not advise a man to find his ideal for himself, and not try to fit you to incredible parameters. In any case, your man must accept you for who you are (of course, within reasonable limits), otherwise this is simply not your man - alas, there are life path more than we would like to see.
Some women, entering into a relationship with a man, literally sacrifice themselves, forget about their personal interests, hobbies, all their actions are aimed only at pleasing their beloved. But such sacrifice is not beneficial - most often men easily refuse women who lay their whole lives at their feet.
Don't want to be a victim or be abandoned? Then try to never do the 5 things below for your lover.
1) Become a vest for tears
If you come across a man who likes to complain about the unfair treatment of him by others and in general for his whole life, then you should not become for him a vest in which you can cry all the time. A beloved woman should not be a person on whom a man will merge all his negativity day after day.
A man who uses his beloved as a pillow for tears is likely not interested in her as a woman. Most likely, he just needs a person who is ready to listen to his constant moaning.
Of course, any man needs support from his beloved, but remember, everything should be in moderation. If you notice that all negative emotions constantly merge on you, then try to answer your beloved in the same way. Start complaining to him about life, health problems, talk about the smallest troubles - conduct a kind of experiment for several days.
Most often, bores and pessimists like to complain and feel sorry for them, but listening to this from the second half is not included in their plans. Therefore, either such a person will leave your life on his own, or he will stop behaving in such a way in your presence.
2) Refuse personal life
Many women give up their hobbies for the sake of the man they love. In most cases, a loved one is unlikely to appreciate such a sacrifice. After all, every man would like to see a versatile young lady next to him, and when a woman refuses everything that she loved before, she loses herself, ceases to be a person. Turning from an enthusiastic and cheerful girl into a housewife, a woman gradually ceases to be interesting to her man. Time passes and the woman has to pay for her mistakes, because the partner does not stop, he continues to develop and move forward, achieves success in his career.
That is why it is so important for a woman not to give up her favorite hobbies, not to give up her career, playing sports, meeting friends. It is important for beautiful representatives of the weaker sex to have some kind of emotional recharge in their lives. Of course, life with the advent of the second half will change and make its own adjustments, but it is important for a woman to find a middle ground, find time for her beloved, but at the same time not forget about the development of her personality.
3) Giving expensive gifts
Many women sin by giving their men very expensive gifts. This is permissible to do only when the lovers are in a long-term relationship and if a woman can easily afford it. Take loans, borrow from loved ones, spend the last money to present to a man good gift- the height of stupidity.
Firstly, an expensive present from a woman obliges a man to return an equally expensive gift. Secondly, for a man who earns well, it is not difficult to please his beloved woman with an expensive thing. Thirdly, if there is a gigolo next to you, then he himself can impudently hint at an expensive thing that he would like to receive as a gift in the near future and this should not serve as a reason for action for the girl, rather, on the contrary, this is a great reason to think, and do you need such a man?
The exception to this paragraph is only the case when you are in a long-term strong relationship with your loved one and you know that he secretly dreams of something. When presenting such an expensive dream gift, you should not be modest, you can gently hint that you had to work hard to present it to your loved one.
4) Become a savior
There are also women who take upon themselves the solution of all the problems of their lover. Putting the chosen one on her neck, women change roles with him.
Remember, men are called representatives of the stronger sex for a reason, it is they who must solve the maximum problems and concerns in this life, both their own and their beloved.
The substitution of roles suits only gigolos and "infalties", who with great pleasure sit on a woman's neck and wait for them to solve their pressing problems.
5) Change appearance
There are some males who give their loved ones an ultimatum and literally demand that a woman enlarge her breasts, dye her hair a different color or make plastic surgery on the face. It's one thing when a partner in a delicate way offers his beloved to go to the fitness center together and lose a few extra pounds. It is a completely different matter when the partner shows neglect in every possible way and in a harsh form tells his wife that she has become too full or ugly.
Even if a woman redraws her entire appearance for the sake of her beloved, then his attitude towards her beloved is unlikely to change. Only one decision can be right here, either the partner accepts you completely and completely, with all the pluses and minuses, or together you are not on the way.
A man who is constantly dissatisfied with something in the appearance of his woman cannot be kept around by anything.
Ladies have the right to change hair color, outfits, appearance, but do it according to own will. A partner should not manipulate a woman and deprive her of her own opinion.
In a relationship with a man, everything should be mutual and consistent, it is important for a woman to feel loved, and not to sacrifice herself to her lover. Only mutual respect, the ability to reckon with the interests of each other, will allow the couple to become truly happy.