False targets. Arguments from the literature in the direction “Goals and means. What is the true purpose

True and false goals: how to understand
Sometimes we don’t change our lives because we don’t have enough motivation to overcome all the difficulties and obstacles in the form of our fears, destructive beliefs, self-doubt, self-criticism and condemnation from our inner circle.

Lack of motivation is just one of the reasons, we should not forget about the natural resistance to change, reluctance to leave the comfort zone, secondary benefits and various personal factors. I suggest that you do 2 simple exercises , which will allow you to check how your goals meet your interests, needs and values. In other words, whether your goals are true or false.

So take a piece of paper and list everything that you can't get in your life right now because you don't have the money or the opportunity to do so . Here it is important to remember or realize what we have been dreaming about for a long time, we really want to buy or do something, for example, travel, but we cannot, and this realization causes almost physical pain. Sometimes it can be helpful to "bring yourself up" emotionally by jumping to your feet or slamming your fist on the table and yelling out: "All! I'm over it! I can not take it anymore! I want all this so much that I am ready for change, ready to work on myself and overcome obstacles on the way to my dream!”

Some of you will find this exercise a little difficult, because it is not always possible to immediately remember everything that we want to receive in our life. This is not surprising, because with each passing day, the hope for a better future is also fading, and therefore we are gradually pushing our dreams and desires out of our consciousness, resigning ourselves to what we have in our life now, and in the end stop dreaming altogether. If this is true for you, then take your time doing the exercise I suggested, sit back, make sure that you will not be disturbed, close your eyes and ask yourself: “what do I want to get from this life”? Just let your thoughts flow freely, and most importantly - do not criticize yourself if any of these thoughts-desires seem strange, unrealistic or stupid to you. Let your unconscious mind guide you in choosing your true goals.

When you receive a list of your goals, visualize each one in detail . Take the first goal and imagine that you have already achieved it:
— where are you and what are you doing?
Who and what is around you?
- How are you feeling?
- How has your life changed?
Do you like these changes?

It is necessary to think not about the ways to achieve the goal, but about what your life will be like after its realization. Was there a feeling of discomfort when you visualized your goal? If yes, then it is important to determine its source. If the discomfort is caused by the novelty of the situation, its unusualness, as well as your doubts about whether you are worthy of such a life and whether you can get what you want, then you can be sure that the goal is yours, you just need to work towards adapting to it, allow yourself a life that you want to have. However, if the reason for the discomfort lies in the rejection of the goal, if you understand deep down that you don’t need it, that such a life is not for you, that you really want something else, then you should think several times before taking steps. to achieve this goal, since it is certainly false. Try to analyze each goal for its source: whether it comes from your heart or is imposed by society.

I would love to know how you did with these exercises and how they helped you set goals and create motivation to achieve them.

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One of the reasons why people fail to succeed in life, in the things they want to succeed in, is their misconception about what exactly should be done for this. Following false goals, people often waste their strength, their talent, their magnificent natural abilities almost in vain, often even harming themselves. The importance of this particular reason for each person is different and depends on his individual qualities, because there are people who know what and how they should do, but do not do it, because laziness or fear prevent them from moving in the right way. So, of course, the falsity of goals as a problem is not relevant for everyone, there is also the problem of laziness. On the other hand, if you delve into a person’s head more thoroughly, then there will be a calculation error in everything, because it is incredibly difficult to see the world in its real picture; even great geniuses were often very much mistaken, drawing conclusions from algorithms they knew only.

It’s hard for me to talk about how much the wrong idea about life and the wrong prioritization in it depend on the social environment in which each of us lives, that is, it is obvious that society affects our worldview, but can a person be adequate, in general without the influence of people, that's another matter. And since I don’t want to deal with theoretical calculations, we only need practical conclusions, we will postpone this issue with you; in the end, we, for the most part, do not shine to be outcasts, and therefore, we will focus on the society that surrounds us. It is society that influences what goals we will follow, and everything, of course, starts from childhood: it’s not that in childhood, under the influence of adults, a kind of destruction occurs in the child’s head, destroying his picture of the world, it just can be portrayed as very different from the reality in which he lives.

Actually, children do not have any ideas about this world - neither from the right, nor from the wrong point of view; they begin to make analysis and conclusions gradually, looking for contradictions in the words of adults, finding confirmation of their mistakes. Of course, a person's life cannot be without mistakes, but it is one thing to make mistakes on the way to the right goal, and quite another to make them while moving towards a false goal; the process itself is a mistake, in that case. The most basic mistake of every person, including great geniuses, whose authority for me personally does not matter at all, lies in their denial of what is, and condemnation of what is. People are frightened by what they cannot explain, and often many do not even try to find this very explanation, believing that it is not they who are mistaken in their conclusions, but the reality that they observe has, meanwhile, an unnatural version of origin .

Suppose you were taught from childhood to live in peace and harmony with other people, and as your contact with these people, you often became convinced that these are not the creatures with whom you can live in this way; that they do not need your world, that they will not agree with everything and will be in solidarity with you, even if all the facts are in the face. And scolding people for inconsistencies with the requirements that you make of them is absolutely pointless, because you yourself can be far from being the kind of person who sits in the minds of other people, as a model the right person. Well, in this case, how to build your plans for life, how to move towards goals, which are based one way or another on interaction with other people? This can be done, except perhaps on unfavorable terms for yourself.

People set false goals not only in childhood. Of course, an adult can also be brainwashed, especially one who is confused and lost in himself, who does not see the reasons for his weakness and who needs comfort more than a cold bucket of water that would sober him up. Once one of my acquaintances decided to start a dispute with me, proving to me that a person should know one thing, but know it well; that he must be a good specialist in something specific. The dispute, of course, did not work out, because there is no point in proving something to a person whose lifestyle leaves much to be desired, like his own personal life and financial situation. Although I asked him one question, to which I asked him not to give an answer quickly: I asked him about who needs it for a person to be a specialist in a particular field, so that a person has a narrow idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthis world, and how much does a person need?

I didn’t wait for an answer from him, but I didn’t need it in order to understand the falsity of those goals that sit in a person’s head, which, perhaps, do not prevent him from feeling comfortable at all, even despite his not quite successful life. Success in the business in which you want to achieve it will depend not only on how correctly you will do everything, but also on how much the business in which you are going to succeed is really important to you and, in general, you need to to you. As an example of pointless success, I can cite a situation from my own life in which at one time I had to work for hire, and I wanted to succeed in my work. I was able to do this, because most of the activities are somehow related to contacts with other people, and with my knowledge of psychology I did it very well, having very good results in my work.

Fortunately, my first bosses were very narrow-minded and frankly stupid, and instead of encouraging a young person trying to work for the result, they, this bosses, constantly scolded me and were always dissatisfied with something. At that moment, I began to realize that my goals were fundamentally wrong, that the result of my efforts goes into the pockets of other people, and they don’t even thank me for it, trying, on the contrary, to squeeze even more life juices out of me. And of course, I heard completely different speeches, almost pleas to stay, when I applied for a resignation, but I already understood very well that my talent, my strength should be directed to other goals, to those goals that are beneficial, first of all, to me. I have worked for both bad and good employers, in the usual sense of these two meanings, because in fact the opposite is true, and I understood this during the short period of time when I worked for hire.

A good employer is not the one, my friends, who creates ideal conditions labor who pays you good wages who praises you and promotes you, and the one who yells at you, who reduces your salary, who fires you altogether. After all, good (in quotes) employers, in fact, limit you. Yes, they recognize your diligence, they appreciate it, but this is the diligence that you spend on them, while for success in life it is important to try, first of all, for yourself; It's important to make your dreams come true, not someone else's. It sounds selfish, but this is objectivity, this is sobriety of thinking - after all, doing something in this life, we, one way or another, pursue our own interests. So why pursue them through the mediation of other people's goals, why not find a direct path to what you need? This will save you from unnecessary illusions; in any case, from the variety of life paths that looms before you throughout your entire life.

At one time, society strove for equality, and in fact even now there are utopians who believe in it; also there were and are people who believe in change, the result of which will be a more reasonable society, not waging wars, not wanting what violates the interests of other people. You know, friends, I am not against all this, but psychology differs from all kinds of teachings and beliefs in that it deals with facts, and, as a science, cannot rely on the possible. Everything is possible, but we have so far what we must be able to manage; learn to move towards natural goals, real, correct, those that will make your life better in this world, which is, and not which can be. You see how rich and successful people live, very rich; those people who have power, not because they have a lot of money, but because they control your ideas, your goals; and money is also an idea that works for those who came up with it.

What does it take to have everything, to have power, money with which you can buy a lot, to have power, in the end, thanks to money and power? And most importantly, what is needed in order to control the thoughts of other people, to ask them such ideas that they will gladly bring to life, and you will be almost a god for them? This, my friends, must be learned; you don’t have to ask me where and from whom, first of all, you need to understand that you need it, if, of course, you really need it: after all, if you want to be the best locksmith in the world, or, say, to be a really cool musician, then you shouldn’t bother with such things - they are for more purposeful people. Only on this site I post truly unique information for those who want to become a person of status and have power, and this is not only because I know psychology well, but also because I know well people who have this status and power .

Of course, this is a matter of your choice, since success is relative to the idea you have about it that you keep in your head. No matter how false your goal is, no matter what you want to achieve, if it is achieved, this is undoubtedly a success, but how satisfied you will be with this success is another question. The falsity of your goal in life determines precisely your satisfaction from achieving it and what it gives you after that. I talk about false goals based on my life experience, and to a greater extent - from the experience of working as a psychologist, through which a lot of people have gone through. At the same time, based on the individuality of everyone who reads this text, one can make a completely logical assumption that for many of you, dear friends, the realistic goals will be somewhat different from the parameters I define.

Perhaps some of you will not achieve anything in life at all, and not because someone is simply unlucky, but because many do not want to achieve anything. Well, this is also a success, the success of the choice that each of us makes and the goals that we set ourselves. And if you are satisfied with your life and what you have in it, I cannot say that you had and have the wrong goals: only you yourself, friends, can do this. Think about what you really want and compare it with what you are doing, as well as do not forget to think about how close what other people have taught you and are teaching you is close to what you really are. want to.

Any man pays the most attention to his social status– build good business or career, and solving sexual issues - to sleep with as many women as possible or start a family. This is a very simplistic description of men's motivations, but it's undeniable that most guys' minds wander around these goals. The question arises - how to achieve this?

Everyone seems to have the same instinctive goals, but the world is so diverse that there are a lot of ways to achieve a high status in society. You need to find your own unique path intended only for you. How to do it? This is not a recipe, a ready-made sequence of actions, step by step instructions. The only way to find yours is to learn to trust yourself.

There are your personal, real goals, and there are goals that the environment imposes on you. For example, many people want to be no worse than others. For comparison, the current generally accepted stereotype of a successful man is selected. And further attempts to adjust themselves to this image follow. For imitation, external manifestations of coolness are often chosen, since their manifestations are the easiest to imitate. There is a desire to make something out of yourself who will be given "cool" girls. To do this, you need to pump up, earn a lot, buy expensive clothes. It seems that it is necessary to have your own business, that you need not a vehicle, but a cool car. Precisely cool, so that the rest would think - "cool man!". You need a “cool” girl, not the one that you personally like, but such that everyone around says - “What a woman with him! Cool man!".

All these are false goals imposed modern fashion on businessmen, bankers, officials, stars. When you follow a false goal, you fail.

In fact, there are not many people for whom constant brilliance in front of the public and a beautiful life is the true goal. Basically, these are individuals with a hysterical type. This is a way of self-expression inherent in their characters, so they achieve success. You look at them and take them as a standard, their way of life as the highest happiness.

What are your real goals - no one will tell you. Only you, if you learn to trust yourself and get rid of the pressure of stereotypes, can answer this question. Only self-observation and study of yourself gives you a chance to understand in which area you can succeed. Maybe you have excellent organizational skills, know how to motivate people and be able to organize your business? Maybe you can become a great middle manager and be happy with it? Maybe it’s ideal for someone to engage in private practice - to do massage or guess on the palm of your hand?

Almost every activity can be tailored into a business. Not every business brings millions, but it can bring you satisfaction. You need to find your place and fit into this world in accordance with your abilities. You need to fulfill your desires. So you will be much happier than in pursuit of false goals. Maybe it’s more suitable for you to do simple manual labor, but you are rushing to do show business, because you watched a lot of TV and think it’s cool.

If it suits you to be a plumber, then it is better to go to fix pipes. At least you'll be interested in doing it. It will also be interesting to think about how to become the highest paid plumber. Maybe later, you will establish a public organization, a festival of plumbers, where awards will be presented to the best in the profession, and you yourself will become the chairman of the commission. From any activity you can make something interesting. The main thing is that it pins you personally.

When you do interesting work, opportunities open up that only you can see. There are some cool ideas on how to improve the provision of plumbing services. Intuition works only for your true goals. Think about what makes you tick. The potential is different for everyone, you should not grab the stars from the sky. Be who you are.

The following works were chosen for argumentation: “Oblomov”, “ Dead Souls»

Introduction: Every person in life has a specific goal. That is, what a person strives for and what he tries to achieve by any means and means. The goal can be near and far, desirable and not so, real and false. Many say that the true goals are the desire to study, work, improve one's professional level, become cultural, successful and just a good person.

And false goals lead a person only to the idea - to get rich at the expense of others, while not applying special efforts and skills, become greedy and tough. It is possible to deceive someone in order to obtain material gain, but will it be acceptable from the side of morality and moral standards. And how to determine which goal is true and which is not? After all, the desire for enrichment and the pursuit of a good life is not always solved through cunning plans and tricks? We will try to answer this question by finding vivid examples in the works of Russian literature.

Arguments: In the novel by Ivan Goncharov "" we meet with the hero Andrei Stolz. He is very active, active and practical. His the main objective- become successful person. This is where his happiness lies. But in life, Stoltz had a very difficult time, he achieved everything himself. When Andrei was 18 years old, his father, putting him on a horse and handing him a small bundle with things for the first time, sent his son to study life. received an education, his affairs were successful. He did business abroad and was a wealthy man. He married Olga Ilinskaya and became a good family man. The truth of Stolz's goal led him to a happy life.

We found another example in N.V. Gogol's poem "". Pavel Ivanovich had only one goal in life - to get rich. He walked towards her different ways but mostly it was a scam. While still at school, he made an accumulation - an “increment” to the penny that his father gave him, by deceiving his own classmates. Every day the boy came up with various tricks that brought him income. Chichikov's scam itself is amazing - buying up dead peasants in order to cash in on them. Not a single landowner, whom Chichikov went to, thought of such a "deal" with the state. Chichikov's enterprise can be applauded, but what is the price? The money that Pavel Ivanovich was waiting for from the state was intended for charitable institutions (orphanages and nursing homes). And he was well aware of this. So is it possible to call Chichikov's goals true if they led to poverty, devastation and deprivation of unfortunate people? What is the meaning of these goals - to become rich at the expense of others? He openly robbed the state, not thinking about the consequences. And for those whom Chichikov robbed, the consequences could be terrible.

Conclusion: The truth and falsity of the goal depends on the intentions of the person. What does he want more: happiness only for himself or to live in a happy world when you are surrounded by loved and loving people.

Much of the trouble around the world stems from people not being clear enough about their goals.

True Goals… What is it? As a rule, each of us has certain goals that we strive to achieve. But have you ever wondered if this is really your true goals or perhaps you are wasting years of your life and your energy on achieving goals that you do not need at all. Seems strange. But don't jump to conclusions. Let's think.

If we “run” through our biography, we will see that in most cases we moved according to a given pattern: kindergarten, school, university, work, family, children, work, etc. We acted according to a pre-worked out plan and, unfortunately, mainly aimed at goals imposed on us from outside. These goals were set before us by our parents, teachers, bosses: to study well, not to be late, to get higher education, on time to submit a quarterly report ... Ie. our guidelines in life have almost always been the goals “offered” by the social environment. Living according to other people's guidelines is quite simple, but there is one "but" - it's pointless. This is movement by inertia. All - in engineers, and I - there too; everyone is a doctor, and I am with them. I'll come somewhere. You will definitely come somewhere. Just where you want to go? More likely no than yes. It is no wonder that, following the standard route, people come to standard results: like everyone else - which means nothing!

If you look around, you realize that you can run in any direction, but this is stupid. You need to decide on your own direction.

Isn't it time to think about true goals? True goals flow from your destiny, and therefore are unique and unrepeatable. Neither your parents, nor your boss, nor even your friends will be able to identify your true goals. There is only one person who knows you best, and that is you.

True goals are like a personal polar star that guides you in the right direction.