Why do people love each other. What he says
A person is inclined during his life to seek himself, to know and to comprehend again. It would seem that it is clear and understandable enough, weaknesses and strengths are identified, behavior patterns are lost and you know yourself perfectly. Suddenly a new situation arises, unexpected and complex, requiring new skills and knowledge. Suddenly you discover a new "I" in yourself, which is completely unfamiliar. If we are unable to define ourselves, who we really are, once and for all, constantly changing in our own eyes, could it not be that such metamorphoses occur in the realm of love and strong attachment to another person?
You start life with a certain man, build a family, you know every mole on your body, and suddenly a new passion just impudently tumbles into your life. Is it possible to love two people at the same time? Society will instantly respond with a categorical “no”. However, these norms and rules do not necessarily follow the laws of life. You should not build your life in such a way that the neighbor Klava from the apartment above is not worried about your moral character. Or is it worth it? So many people, so many opinions...
This is a deep awareness of attachment to another person, sympathy, a feeling of euphoria from the very fact of the existence of this other, the desire to bring good to the chosen one. I want to constantly take care of this person, protect, show the most pleasant signs of attention. She gives, selflessly and endlessly, without demanding gratitude and without waiting to be asked. This is the ability of mature natures.
It is believed that fidelity is an important sign of true love.
There is an opinion that fidelity is a rather abstract concept, because as long as there is sincere passion, fidelity is implied by itself, and when it is not there, fidelity makes no sense at all. Isn’t it possible to appreciate masculinity and determination in this man, in that - romance and tenderness, in the third - the ability to understand and support. What kind of attitude will be to these different people. Or take it for - friendship, affection, love, sympathy.
In love, there are three components that create different combinations:
These components create unique sensations, obtained either from a single chosen one, or from several. What is not enough in life with a lawful companion is then in communion with the second chosen one.
Why do two people love at once?
Sometimes two people become objects of strong passions. You experience a state of approximately the same strength to two partners. In such a situation, it is worth trying to figure out and understand where it comes from and why it happens. No one is immune from the fact that, blaming this side today, you will not end up in the same place tomorrow. Sometimes I am sure that I am happy, but only getting into new emotions from communication, you understand that it is completely different. There are cultures in which it is not customary to have a single lover, and the number of women in a personal harem is an indicator of a man's success, status in their male world.
It is generally accepted that the second chosen one appears if the first one does not finish. Is it possible, without finishing the old, to build a new one? A life in which there will be more life, brighter colors. For what reason did a new person appear in your life, to whom the heart is torn:
- you lack what you have, while appreciating and respecting the qualities that the chosen one has. But I want more, something else;
- family life is too monotonous and monotonous. Where are the bright colors, fountains of passion and unexpected surprises? In the new communion this is already there;
- your feelings with the existing companion arose too early. Perhaps the companion was persistent, or you got bored, your parents were in a hurry with a decision, for example. But it turned out - well, but not enough. And the new novel comes in handy;
- in the parental family it was so accepted - not to dwell on someone;
- you develop further, and your friend stopped there. He realizes some part of your needs, but there is a large part of your soul into which he is unable to look. The second person understands, accepts more, in such communication words are not so important, half a hint is enough. The first companion realizes that you are no longer completely in his possession, begins to reproach you for something, to see some sort of detachment. But your old relationship is still alive, just not developing;
- you feel that you have fulfilled your duty to your family - now you can live for yourself. And against the background of general respect and gratitude to the lawful spouse, you gladly accept the new state that has swallowed you.
In such simultaneous parallel novels, one can love two people equally strongly and sincerely. As if you are experiencing two parallel loves, you experience different states that emphasize each other, deepen. It turns out something similar to a looped source of energy: one side feeds the other, deepens feelings, renews them. This is sometimes very helpful for existing conditions, spurring connection, creating a flow of fresh air and sensations.
What happens if a person can love two? What is the advantage of such a peculiar love duplication:
- Women want to combine sexual attraction with risk, excitement - that's why the appearance of a second beloved gives sharpness to sensations, spices up sexual life.
- For men, it is sometimes difficult to treat a single woman with respect and sexuality at the same time, therefore it is easier to divide these sensations into two objects: one for sex, the other for understanding and respect (according to Freud, mother replacement).
- When you respect and appreciate qualities in another person that are not in yourself, you feel as if you have found that part of yourself that makes you complete and collected.
- In different objects, different needs of such a diverse creature as a person are satisfied.
- Self-knowledge occurs through another person - and in such situations this probability doubles. You can see yourself in more diverse faces than is possible with one person.
Experiencing two loves at the same time, people are at two stages of feeling at once: the initial one, with the effect of novelty and brightness of sensations, and the middle one, with the depth and duration of attachment.
When you admit to yourself: “I love two,” it is very important not to feel guilty or ashamed. Remember more about yourself than about the rules imposed by social norms. Although it is worth remembering the boundaries and not being recklessly narcissistic, first of all, in oneself - allowing one to perform daring acts that not only contradict society, but also harm the person himself. Monogamy is not a general norm - this is one thing, but breaking universal laws and being a narcissistic egoist is a completely different matter.
Difficulties of life on two hearts
- In a relationship, if you love two, it is difficult to maintain balance and balance between the parties. Even if you do not pay attention to the condemnation of society, which has become more calm to respond to such schemes.
- In such triangles, the lover or mistress is usually aware of the existence of the first object of passion, the lawful one. In such cases, they have some advantage over the legal spouse. This secret maintains communication in this status. If all three partners are aware of the existing triangle, the situation usually changes. The lover suffers because he feels used - if the rightful chosen one finds out about his existence. If both satellites know, more power is in the hands of the official satellite. If the second also has a family of his own, the connection becomes so confusing and morally ambiguous that it is easier to break it and start all over again.
- Jealousy exists in a triangle in the same way as in a binary pair. Behind this feeling lies the fear of loss, the destruction of this connection. Often, the one who knows about his rival stubbornly pretends that he does not know anything, just to keep his family and feelings. At the same time, I suffer deeply inside.
- Resentments and reproaches are doubled, as there are twice as many risky situations.
Is it love and what to do with it?
It is human nature to worship something. It also sometimes happens with this sublime feeling - it is very easy to mistake for it lust, passion, affection, the search for support, and so on. Often this is generally a habit - which is the hardest thing to fight. This sometimes offends and humiliates the companion - he deserves deep feelings, and not just being an object to satisfy the needs of any character himself.
What to do if the triangle has become cramped - psychology will help to emphasize:
- Be alone with yourself. Calm your thoughts, and most importantly, your feelings. Try not to feel anything for a while. Listen to what you feel for this and that object of your passions. What is expensive in one respect and in another. How useful are they for you? And now the main thing: what will happen if they disappear? Will you feel regret, sorrow, sadness, or relief, freedom? Which connection will make you sadder the most? And what absence will you survive quite calmly? Do not listen to other people's advice at this time - you already have everything you need to make a decision.
- Do not rush to tell your friends about everything. Or one of them. Are you ready for insults, claims, reproaches? Suddenly, not the communication that you would be ready to cut off will end.
- Make a decision carefully and with a cool head.
Love is gone. It would seem why this could be such a mystery, people who were madly in love with each other suddenly stopped feeling this feeling. What are the reasons?
Veronica's story: Veronica and her boyfriend were perfect couple. When they met, they realized that they had been waiting for each other all their lives. They had the same hobbies, they liked the same things, they considered each other kindred spirits. This happiness lasted for two years, until her boyfriend suddenly began to move away. In the end, he broke up with her, and when she asked for what reason, he simply replied that he simply did not love her anymore.
Has this happened to you or someone you know? Disappointment... Does true love come to be not forever?
It is difficult to give a definite answer to this question, but one piece of advice can be given - you need to consider your perception of "true love" and know one thing, that all that glitters is not gold.
The high expectations of true love are exaggerated by the ideal concept of love, which can disrupt a fulfilling and healthy relationship. A realistic look is vital.
What is the main reason why people stop loving each other?
Of course, there are many reasons why people fell out of love, but love cannot be equated with falling in love, these are two completely different feelings.Falling in love is a deception, an illusion. A person cannot take and stop loving, because no one loses his love overnight.
There are 3 main reasons why people don't love more and therefore break up with their partners.
1. Their expectations were not met
If you meet a person who really attracts you, you tend to idealize things. You will fall in love with this person because everything will be so new for you at the moment, so fresh. You will discover everything over and over again with great pleasure. positive traits your partner. But, unfortunately, soon all your needs and expectations will not come true and you will finally take off your rose-colored glasses.The problem here is that your opinion of your partner is not always realistic. After all, he and you are doing everything possible, trying to show yourself from the best side and hide your shortcomings in every possible way. By your efforts to show yourself in the best light, your partner and you yourself live up to each other's expectations in the beginning, but later in the relationship, when the fire of passion cools down a bit, you tend to take off your masks and show yourself the real you. Now you and your partner act differently, not so reverently, not so carefully, not so diligently in relation to the other half.
And now, after you have opened up, your relationship comes to conflict, because those expectations and promises that are not fulfilled by your partner and you will begin to feel deceived.
2. Have you really experienced love?
Another problem is that people very often cannot tell if they love or not. Sometimes they confuse passion and sexual satisfaction with love.This happens very often when people are young, or when people have been in long-term relationships for a long time. They confuse long-term satisfaction with love.
But after their sexual desire fades, they suddenly lose interest and stop loving. Of course, it's not love in the first place, which is why feelings are fleeting.
3. Abuse
Unfortunately, this happens often, especially with men, at first he is soft and kind, and later they become rude and hard.Violence is, of course, the most extreme case. Very often, partners suddenly change their behavior in such a way that it becomes unbearable. Drug and alcohol abuse are common examples of this change.
Conclusion
Knowing these 3 reasons why people fall out of love can be helpful for us. They can teach you how to behave in the beginning of a relationship.We must have realistic expectations in a partner and relationship, and above all, we must be who we really are from the very beginning.
By pretending to be okay with everything and by cutting back on your basic needs, you will be showing your partner a false picture of you, a picture that will fade over time and possibly your partner or you will eventually stop loving.
During the communication of two people, channels are formed between their auras, through which energy flows flow in both directions. If people like each other, then there is an intense relationship between them. energy metabolism. And there are spiritual connections. They can affect a person both positively and negatively.
Bound souls
The more partners are passionate about each other, the more strong and active channels (soul connections) are formed. It is in this way that strong relationships arise that are not subject to either distance or time. For example, a mother always feels her child, no matter where he is, and no matter how many years have passed since their last meeting.
It also happens that when meeting an old acquaintance after many years, a person feels as if they parted only yesterday. Channels can persist for a very long time - years and even decades. That is, channels connect not only bodies, but also souls.
Healthy relationships form bright, clear, pulsating channels. In such relationships there is trust, intimacy, sincerity and there is enough room for personal freedom. There is an equal exchange of energy, without distortions.
Broken hearts
If the relationship is unhealthy, that is, one partner depends on the other, then the channels are heavy, stagnant, dull. Such relationships deprive of freedom, often come down to mutual irritation and anger. If one of the partners wants to completely control the other, connections, like ropes, can wrap around the aura from all sides.
When relationships gradually die, the channels become thinner and weaker. Over time, the energy stops running through these channels, communication stops, people become strangers. If people part, but the channels are still preserved, then they continue to reach out to each other. It also happens when one partner breaks off spiritual ties and closes off from further interaction, while the other partner is still attached to him and is trying in every possible way to break through energy protection in order to restore relations.
In the process of forcible rupture of channels, parting is very painful. It takes many months or years to recover from this. Much here depends on how ready a person is to accept the free will of another and free himself from dependence developed over a long time. It's difficult, but possible.
The soul remembers the partner
Most of the channels built in everyday communication eventually disappear without a trace. In the case of close relationships, the channels persist for a very long time, even after parting. Particularly strong channels arise during sexual and family ties.
Every time you have sexual contact with a new partner, new spiritual ties are formed that hold people together for many years, and even the rest of their lives. At the same time, it does not matter at all whether the sexual partners managed to find out each other's names - the connection in the case of sexual contact is formed and lasts for a very long time. And if there is a channel, then there is also the circulation of energy through it. And what quality the energy comes in is already difficult to say, it depends on the characteristics of the other person. If he is completely negative, then the “fastened” partner will feel oppressed and not understand what is wrong.
For people who live nearby for a long time, the energy fields adjust to each other and work in unison. intimate relationship require field synchronization. Often we notice that people who live together for a long time become similar to each other even outwardly.
Repulsive emotions
If the characteristics of the auras of two individuals differ greatly, then it will be difficult for them to communicate. When the field is invaded by energy flows that are alien to it, a reaction of repulsion, fear, disgust appears - "I'm sick of him."
When a person does not want to communicate with someone, he closes his energy field, and all energy flows emanating from another person are reflected. In this case, the other person gets the impression that he is not heard, as if he is talking to the wall.
Each person has the right to enter into or not to enter into energy interaction with the world around him, but it is impossible to completely refuse these contacts. People are accustomed to dividing the world into "bad" and "good", attracting the good and repelling the bad. What can you do - these are the properties of our spiritual world. But times are changing, and now the world is striving for unity, the merging of all sides, facets of the world into one whole.
We must respect the right of individuality and the acquisition of different experiences in each of the people. But remember that any connection has consequences. And what they will be - everyone is free to choose for himself.
Some questions are defined in the so-called category of "eternal". On the one hand, we know the answers to them, but on the other hand, we understand that our assumptions are poorly substantiated to be undeniable. Among such tricky questions, one and only one is very popular: why do people love each other?
Unity is strength
Yes, you can be a multifunctional person, feel comfortable in any area of life, boldly go forward and surprise others with your independence. And yet people are so arranged that they cannot show themselves equally talented everywhere. Some people are better at doing one thing, you are better at something else. There is nothing unusual or catastrophic in this state of affairs. In this case, of course, one cannot achieve high results everywhere. Therefore, people are looking for that same soul mate that would complement them. Together they feel more confident, stronger, therefore, they can achieve greater success in some business.
There's nothing wrong with being alone when it's temporary.
It’s good when no one bothers you to do what you want, when you don’t have to constantly report to anyone for your actions or deeds. But over time, such freedom gets boring, because no one has yet canceled a person’s need for society and communication. And a long stay alone with oneself is bad for health. He begins to get bored, sad, falls into depression,. Therefore, in order to protect themselves from eternal loneliness, people fall in love with each other. Friends and family members will not always be around right moment life path. And when you have a dear and beloved person, this is a guarantee that you will not be left completely alone in difficult moments of your life.
I woke up with concern
The humanity and morality inherent in people encourages them to realize themselves as a kind, sympathetic and noble person. By doing some good deeds, everyone gets some pleasure. It is pleasant for a person to control something, to feel that much depends on him in this world. So his self-esteem rises, a feeling of calmness, self-confidence and in the future comes. Most of all, we show ourselves by caring for someone we love, to whom And this desire to make someone happy is sometimes so strong that it muffles the desire for reciprocity.
What will be left after me?
Deep down, people realize that they need to give themselves a continuation. Hence the desire to start a family, raise children. Following this idea, everyone goes in search of love, overcomes any difficulties and tries to become parents to be proud of.
On the one hand, you can see a lot of happy and loving couples, but it’s not clear, because you need to continue to love and be together. There are many reasons for this, but you need to know the most basic reasons for breaking up so as not to fall into the same situation.
In the article, psychologists will tell you about why do people break up when they love each other, how to prevent this in your family or relationships. After all, outwardly we see happy couples, but internally we understand that soon these people will part.
'Cause love isn't real
Not everyone understands what love is and, accordingly, believe that if people are together, then they love each other. Today it is rare to see people who are truly in love and this is a big problem. People have not learned to take care of what they have and have begun to invent the illusion of love, creating it even on the Internet. The reason why people break up when they love each other is because they don't really love and didn't love each other.
Because there are no common interests
Main reason, why do people break up that there are no common interests and outlooks on life. These people just meet and they don’t even have anything to talk about with each other. Because of this, they part, not even trying to find at least something in common, which can definitely be found in every person, there would be a desire. Find out: how to find a worthy husband, as women are looking for a real man, but they themselves do not want to become real women.
They do not understand the meaning of further relationships
Often all relationships are created on emotions and when a couple begins to think logically, they do not find the meaning of further relationships and this is the reason why people break up when they love each other, because their love was just affection.
Changed interests
It happens that people meet for a long time, but with age their interests and outlook on life change and they need something different in life. Differences in interests begin and as a result, people part. But if there was a desire, it would be possible to stay together and form new common interests.
People rush to create relationships
Especially today's youth, constantly somewhere in a hurry and trying to try everything. Here why do people break up when they love each other, as they confuse falling in love, affection with true love. True love will never allow people to break up and betray each other, and this is a problem, since few people truly love. Do not rush to build a serious relationship, make friends and walk together for at least 1-2 years. Then it will become clear whether you need each other spiritually or not.
Betrayal, betrayal
The main reason why people break up when they love each other is, of course, betrayal and betrayal in a relationship or family. People do not love each other and seek pleasure in other people, hiding it. When the truth becomes reality, the couple is disappointed and breaks up. After all, it makes no sense to live with someone who changes and gives.
Love disappears
Many consider the reason why people break up when they love each other, then that love is gone and gone. This does not happen, love cannot pass, because true love always exists and will be in our hearts, we just do not want to feel it, and we continue to create artificial love for ourselves and believe in it. For this reason, not only couples, but also families break up for three years. life together. Find out: How to get to know a guy to create a truly lasting relationship for life.
The main thing is not to rush to create a family and relationships, because no one bothers you just for the first time to be friends and meet. And when you realize that you love, then after three years, you can create a serious relationship and family. And if there are no feelings, then you will simply remain friends, and you will not suffer like many because of what was not there, because of affection, and not because of love.
Keep love always in your heart and then you will never stop loving and love that person who really loves you and wants to be with you all his life.