Between need and want. El Luna “Between need and want. Find your path and follow it" - review - Psychology of effective life - online magazine Between need and want download epub
We are different. Thirty year old women. Twenty year old men. Students. "Poor". Teachers. Programmers. Musicians pretending to be lawyers. Poets who love to drive the bus. People who understand that work has led to a dead end, and people who are grateful to fate that there is at least some work.
We are different. But we share a common pain. We don't really use our powers.
Once Elle Luna, an artist and designer, wrote about this essay - "Between need and want." How to find your way and understand yourself. A couple of weeks later, 5 million people shared this text. “This text changed my life,” commented one woman. “Drop everything you are doing right now and read this article,” wrote another. And then there was a book. Beautiful. Inspirational. that you want to share.
Today we share what caught our attention. So drop everything. And read.
Job, career or vocation?
Elle was working on a startup when she felt like she had come to a crossroads. There was a lot of work, but she devoted all her free time to drawing. Both worlds were equally interesting to her, but which one to choose?
One day, Elle saw the performance of Stefan Sagmeister, a designer from New York, at the world famous show, in which he showed the difference between work, career and vocation.
El thought: what happened in her life? She realized that she wanted to have a job that was both a career and a calling. After launching a startup, she wrote a letter of resignation and devoted herself entirely to painting.
What is more in your life? Jobs, careers or vocations?
Writer Thomas Eliot worked in a bank. Kurt Vonnegut sold cars. One of the greatest composers of our time, Philip Glass, began to earn money on his vocation only at the age of 41. Premieres of his works were held at the Metropolitan Opera, and he continued to work as a plumber.
Any work deserves respect. If you only work to pay the bills, that's fine. And just because you want to find your calling doesn't mean you have to quit your job. There is no contradiction here.
But it is important to think: what are you doing now?
I need and I want
“There are two ways in life: “need” and “want”. We come to this crossroads again and again. And every day we choose,” writes El in his book.
“Necessary” is the ideas of other people (mainly relatives - parents, family) about how we should live. These are their expectations about our actions, thoughts and life in general. All this destroys our own "I", forcing us as we would like. By choosing the “must” path, we choose life for the sake of others, a life that is predictable and without unnecessary worries.
What is "I want"?
“I want” is what we are without masks and imposed attitudes. This is all that we feel deep down, what we love and what we believe. These are all our true desires, dreams, hobbies. “I want” allows us to reveal our potential, to strive for our own ideals.
It is harder to follow the “I want” path, because it is not clear what awaits us on this journey. There are no guarantees, only daily hard work and constant overcoming of oneself. But at the same time, choosing “I want” means living a rich and conscious life. To be here and now every second. This is a life full of delight and joy.
Lawyer John Grisham woke up every day at 5 am and sat down to write stories about terrible crimes before work. He followed the "want" for years and did not give up, receiving refusals to publish his book. In the end, he received a positive response, and today his name is known in every home.
Which path are you on? "I need" or "I want"?
Where does "should" come from?
It would seem that doing what we want is so easy, but why don't we do it every day?
We grow up in an environment where everyone around us is constantly told what to do. We are taught what to do and what not to do. We inherit the beliefs and worldview of loved ones. But sometimes we follow someone else's "must" path for much longer than planned. We suddenly become aware of ourselves as adults, not living the way we would like.
In order to get out of the captivity of “necessary”, we first need to realize that we are in it. Take a piece of paper and make a list of sentences starting with "I need to...", "I should...", "I've always needed to...", "I never need to...". Without hesitation, write everything that sounds in your head.
Now ask each item on your list three questions:
Without regrets, eliminate everything that does not suit you. Life is too short to waste time on things you don't want to do.
How to follow the path of "want"?
What if we don't know what we like and what we want? Play with dreams.
Every time a desire (or) appears in your head, write it down on a sticky note and stick it anywhere. Your desires can be strange, grandiose, useful or stupid. The main thing is to catch them and write them down. This way you will hear what your heart wants more often. What will sound more often and louder is yourself.
Two obituaries
Imagine that you have grown old, died and are written about in the newspaper. What will be written there if your life goes the way it goes? Write down everything you think of. Do you like it?
Now write the kind of obituary you would like for yourself. What would your life be like? Who would you be? A caring mother, a country hero, a great inventor, or all together? Don't be shy in your dreams.
Compare these two obituaries and think about what you need to change in your life for the second one to become a reality.
How to start?
Lao Tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Once you realize what you really want, start taking action slowly. You do not need to immediately quit your job and spend all your time, for example, writing. This is unreasonable, because you need to live on something and eat something. Moreover, such an approach will only lead you into a stupor. Just every day. Finding 10-15 minutes a day for yourself is not difficult.
Listen to your heart and do whatever it tells you to. Even if it seems absurd or pointless.
Your life belongs to you. But only if you yourself are at the helm. Walk the “want” path every day. Ten minutes can always be found. Ten minutes while the kettle boils - go ahead! Ten minutes in traffic - go ahead!
What will you choose? Necessary? Want?
P.S. Read what inspires you. On the electronic version"Between Need and Want" 50% discount until June 13 - only for Lifehacker readers. Promo code - XO4Y.
His own path inspired the author to write a manifesto about the difference between “need” and “want”, which was shared by 5 million Twitter users and read by hundreds of thousands of people. “I wanted to send it to all my employees,” wrote one executive who read the article, “but realized that a third of them would leave if they read it. But you know what? If they don't want to work here, they need to quit - that's why I sent out this article."
Now Elle's ideas about the difference between "need" and "want" are presented in this inspiring bright book, which will be useful for both the student and the artist, and any person who is looking for his calling and wants to change his life for the better.
From the author
These pages are written in support of your inner voice that says that you can give this world something special. They are designed to remind you that although you do not know where this road will lead, many people have already walked along it. They let you forget everything necessary do to remember what you want to do.
Who is this book for?
For anyone who wants to change their career and life, find their true calling and the courage to follow it.
Available in formats: epub | PDF | FB2
Pages: 176
The year of publishing: 2017
Language: Russian
Reviews
Arina, Mogilev, 23.11.2017
An excellent site, I found a lot of literature on my profile (Between need and want. Find your way and follow it), besides, it's free and in a suitable format, you just need to pass SMS confirmation to download. Much more convenient than most similar resources. I recommend.
Xenia, Kharkiv, 06.07.2017
I am fond of time management and general management of my resources. For a long time I was looking for a site where you can quickly and easily download all the books I need, including new ones. Stumbled upon this site by accident and fell in love! There is everything you need to expand knowledge in this topic. Many of the books I had never heard of before. Definitely recommend!
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Before quitting, the artist and designer El Luna managed to work at IDEO, Mailbox, Medium and Uber, but, choosing between creativity and career opportunities, she preferred the first. The MIF publishing house published a Russian-language version of her book “Between Need and Want” - an illustrated collection of tips, quotes and personal observations, which became a bestseller, about what is purpose and how to find it. T&P have chosen some of them.
Know necessary
If you want to live life to the fullest and be free, you must first of all understand why you are not free, what is stopping you. The word prison (“prison”) comes from the Latin praehendere, which means “to seize”, “grab”, “catch”. A prison is not necessarily a place in space; it can be any idea created by your mind. What caught you? The natural process of socialization requires that a person succumb to the influence of various you need thus functioning as part of society. However, growing up, it is useful to be aware of those necessary that you got genetically or through upbringing. Some necessary can be valued and preserved, while others should be discarded. If you want to know how to live by the principle want learn the principle necessary. This is hard work. Really heavy. We unconsciously imprison ourselves to avoid our most basic fears. We choose necessary because choose want scary and incomprehensible. Our prison is built on the principle necessary from countless situations of choice to which we have unwittingly agreed, from "walls" that take us away from our real selves. But necessary leads to want. You create your own prison and you can free yourself.
Don't be afraid to ask for help
When you look at your necessary you are consciously choosing to face your personal prison - other people's expectations, belief systems you have accepted without faith, and everything you have agreed with without realizing it. Bringing up the list of your necessary, you are at risk of facing your deepest fears, and it is wise to find support. This is a job for professionals - psychotherapists, counselors and professionals trained to deal with these issues. Working with a psychotherapist in everyday life is similar to working with a coach in gym, except that the psychotherapist does not work with the muscles, but with the organ that considers itself the main one (the brain), and the source that really controls everything (the soul).
Remember yourself
The very idea that you have a calling or purpose (your want) - that you should have it - can be confusing. It's unbearable. Believing that your destiny will emerge fully formed is akin to believing that you can only write a book by desiring it and thinking about it. But if you do one little thing every day - pick up a pen, write a paragraph of text, make a list of words - then your purpose will manifest. Destiny is never stronger than in childhood. What were you like as a child? What did you love to do? Were you a loner or did you prefer company? Were you independent or did you choose cooperation? Were you an organizer or a dreamer? If you don't remember, call your mom or someone who knew you well as a child. Ask about who you were. Take notes during the conversation and save them: there are the earliest seeds of your future destiny.
Look for recurring motifs
Look for recurring motifs, themes, and connections. Do you like working in pairs? Hate sitting in one place all day? Is sensory stimulation important at work? Pay attention to those cases when seemingly disparate activities become connected. When new ideas come up, add them to your list. When assumptions come up, don't let them go. Then start experimenting and playing with what you learn. Share your thoughts with those you trust. Consider their opinion and continue until you start the path home - to your destination.
Get ready to riot
When we discover what we want to do, the brain's most basic defense centers raise the alarm. The signal to riot is turned on. Defense mechanisms begin their work. Because the choice is yours want raises very important and terrible questions. Let's be practical. People have four basic questions about finding their true purpose. The first is money. The second argument against purpose is time. Space is the third stumbling block to finding your purpose. But while money, time, and space are the most common reasons we use for not following the path of our destiny, there is another fear that scares a lot more and is talked about a lot less. Once you've chosen your destination, you'll have to face some formidable fears. You will feel vulnerable. You might ask yourself questions: will the people you love leave you, will the places remain the same, will you not have to spend your life alone. You may be asking yourself why this is necessary at all. An unfathomable dream? Children's fantasy? A fleeting feeling that can neither be understood nor explained? It is here, standing at the crossroads between what we want and what we need, that we feel how real our fears are, and this is the very moment when many decide to go against their intuition, turning away from a path in which there are no guarantees, in which nothing is known and everything is possible.
Do something
Choosing want you must act. You must do something. It's small but important point which may take days, years or a lifetime. When you're ready, you choose it by doing anything, whether it's a big step or a small one. So you begin to walk on the path of your destiny. This path requires you to let the unknown happen, but it does not ask you to endanger yourself or loved ones. Choosing want, you should not become a trickster who announces that he is going to do the unheard of. It's not a spectator sport. The vocation is too important, extremely important, to be chosen out of a whim, out of passion, out of intoxication. Most faithful want are realized slowly, thoughtfully and quietly. They do not come impulsively, but they line up based on sober, sound intentions. Every decision you make matters. Ten minutes of privacy. One time installation choice want instead of necessary. Organization of your space. Your wishes, written and pinned to the wall. Your want, your destination is not a distant land where you hope to someday arrive, it will not happen tomorrow or some other time. You have to live your destiny today, in this moment.
Inspire others
It is a constant effort, hard work (and inexplicably life-affirming activity) to acknowledge yourself, your beliefs, and your purpose on this Earth. Choosing the path of your destiny is the most significant, because this harmonious and fulfilling lifestyle will be reflected in everything you do. Your sacred space and daily steps will become even more meaningful. you will build beautiful world for its purpose. And over time, it will seem like a tempting idea to stay forever in this magical place you created and never return to everyday life. But the full and most important journey requires you to come back, share your purpose and thus inspire those around you.
Think of this search as a journey
This journey is not new; perhaps it is one of the oldest undertakings of mankind. In some Inuit and Native American tribes, members of the community went on a visionary quest to gain enlightenment. They went to wildlife for several days, often refusing to eat. The purpose of the journey was to reconnect with nature and the spirit world and experience dreams or waking visions that give guidance through this immersion. At a certain period of life, Australian Aborigines went on a roam, sometimes for several months - these were journeys that marked the transition to adulthood.
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